Bella the wild rose
by mpg
Summary: Edward is unable to resist the call of Bella's blood and visits her house on the first day they meet. His slip in control leads to unforseen consequences. BxE Mutliple POVs Rated M for lemons/violence -COMPLETE-
1. Temptation

**Chapter 1: Temptation**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

_I know the title is about Bella (or at least it is for now) but the story is in Edward's POV (or at least it is for now). In case you are wondering about the title I got my inspiration for this piece (or at least the beginning of it) from the Kylie Minogue/Nick Cave song "Where the wild roses grow"_

~ 0 ~

I pulled up in front of the house that was nestled up against the forest. The small two-story, white house with a picturesque front garden. I knew whose house it was, and I knew what would happen when I went inside. What I didn't understand was what I was doing there. In my mind, I was racing to Alaska; racing to avoid the delicious, overpowering scent of that girl; racing to avoid falling prey to the monster within me. In my mind, that was the right thing to do. So why was I there? I put the car into drive and passed the house. It was not safe to park in front. Scratch that-it was not safe to be here at all. I had seen the vision Alice had of me visiting the small white house. I had seen the inevitable end that would come to the girl if I allowed myself to go inside.

I was in Carlisle's car; a black Mercedes, pretty noticeable in most places but more so in the sleepy town of Forks which was mostly occupied by ancient trucks and SUVs. No, it was too noticeable to park the car in front. I pushed my foot onto the accelerator, gunning for the interstate. I would run, Alice's vision had shown me that was possible. I would visit our relatives in Alaska. I would stay there for as long as needed. My decision was final. That is what I would do.

I didn't understand how I ended up on the back stoop of the house I had been fleeing from, but I knew Carlisle's car was safely hidden miles away with nothing to suggest a link to what was going to happen there. But nothing _was _going to happen there; I was determined I wouldn't be the monster. I wouldn't kill the girl; it would kill her father if I did. So why did I open the back door?

As I stepped into the house, I saw the scene from Alice's vision. The bright yellow cabinets and the girl, Isabella Swan-Bella she'd told everyone to call her-standing over the counter. I could hear the rise and fall of the knife as she prepared some trivial food, presumably for her father's evening meal.

So many parts of my brain were screaming at me, telling me this was not my decision. My decision was to go to Alaska. Even as she stood not three feet away from me my mind screamed my decision to leave. Leave now before...

Before, I thought sadly. Before I killed the innocent child before me. Before I destroyed her father's world. I almost left, I _wanted _to leave, but something compelled me forward. Some magnetic force drew me to this sweet-smelling girl.

I thought about the events of the day. It had started out so mind-numbingly boring, as everyday of high school did. Then _she_ came, which ordinarily wouldn't have been a problem. Okay, new students were rare at Forks High School. In fact, my family were the last new students to have arrived and that was two years ago. But in and of itself the arrival of a new student was not a problem. The problem didn't even stem from her apparent silence to me. I was used to being able to read the thoughts of every person within a three mile radius, but even three feet away from her, I couldn't hear her. It aroused my curiosity even though there was no reason it should, but that wasn't the problem.

The problem was the scent of her blood. As I had discovered in biology earlier, her scent was the single most scintillating thing I had ever smelled. Even though I was currently not breathing, I could remember the scent as it danced on my tongue, igniting my throat with a sense of need. I closed my eyes and remembered the scent, not daring to trust myself to a fresh, concentrated dose of breathing it while she stood right in front of me.

It had been nearly seventy years since I last drank human blood. I was proud of that fact, my family was proud of me for that fact, and I was going to destroy that pride and their faith in me.

_No! _The rational part of my brain screamed in response. _You don't _have _to. You can still leave. A few short years and she will leave to go to college and you will be free to resume what life you can._

My mind battled with itself as I watched the lithe figure of the girl in front of me, listening to Clare de Lune on her iPod. Her choice of music surprised me, not many girls her age appreciated the classics. That piece of information bought her a few precious seconds.

I stood entranced, watching the way her neck curved down delicately into her long spine. I longed to run my hand along that back and trace it up to her neck. Her neck, where I could see the pulse of the sweetest smelling blood I had ever encountered.

I had never known such a smell could exist. In the entire decade I allowed myself to hunt humans I had never once encountered anything with remotely the draw of it. If only I could taste it. Just a small taste. But who was I kidding? I knew if I stepped towards her, covering the mere three feet between us in fractions of a second, if I did that and pulled her throat to my mouth I wouldn't be able to stop. I continued to watch, my mind still made up. I would leave. Soon. I would go to Denali and stay with Tanya, and Kate, and their family.

It was easy to stay in control while I wasn't breathing. I was sure I was in control, I could leave anytime I wanted to.

I watched her long brown hair shimmy from side to side as she slid back and forth along the counter collecting and preparing all the ingredients she needed. There was something so graceful about her as she glided without moving her feet. Then she took one step in the direction of the refrigerator, tripped on nothing in particular and ended up colliding with it instead.

A small chuckle escaped my lips involuntarily.

It was the quietest of sounds but it was enough. The girl turned around, startled by my presence in her kitchen. She didn't cry out though, she just stared at me with those big brown doe eyes of hers. I found myself falling into the pools that existed deep within those eyes. The magnet started on me again and I found myself unwillingly closing the distance, one painfully slow step at a time.

She looked at me, confused. So she _had_ seen the murderous glares I had sent her way earlier. Perhaps my coming here was the right thing to do. Perhaps I would save my family from a premature exit. This girl would gossip about us, which would risk stirring up memories or stories that were better off forgotten. If she simply vanished there would be nothing to link her to us. We could stay here. It would be as if she had never arrived.

I knew I was just trying to find false justification for killing this girl. As I looked into her eyes, I felt my face soften. I was silently pleading for her to understand. I didn't want to do this, but I had to. I had to know the sensation of her blood in my throat. I couldn't live another minute without satisfying that craving, the urge, the magnetic pull that it had for me.

I had closed the distance between us and reached my arms out for her, grabbing her shoulders gently. She still hadn't made any move to cry out or fought me off in any way, as useless as that effort would have been. Still, her silence and stillness felt like an approval for what I was doing. Maybe she realised the impossibility of her situation and relented. The movement towards her felt almost sensual, like a seduction rather than a feast.

I stared into her eyes, then took in every detail of her face. Her lips were blood red, the same colour as wild roses and a further reminder of the blood running underneath her nearly translucent skin. I don't know why I did it but a strange compulsion drove me and I pressed my lips to hers gently, barely grazing the surface. I pulled back from her and noticed a single tear running down her face. I wiped it carefully with my thumb. A blush rose over her face, the pooling of blood was the final straw for me. I pulled her close to me again, this time crushing my face into her neck and taking a deep breath.

A whimper of pleasure issued from this doe eyed beauty as she felt my breath against her neck. Then another whimper, this time of pain, as she felt my teeth penetrate the soft skin and the gentle tug as I drank the sweet nectar contained within.

~ 0 ~

I fell in front of Carlisle's car, tearless sobs racking my whole body. I couldn't understand what just happened. I played the scene over and over in my head. I could still feel her in my arms, still smell the delicious scent that surrounded her. And the taste! Part of me was whispering that I had been right to take that part of her into me, that it would have haunted my days if I had never tasted it but I wondered how accurate that part was. After tasting the most divine flavour in the world, how can you give it up? How could I possibly go back to hunting deer after that sensation? I knew I had lost my grip on my self-control. The worst part was I couldn't even go face my family and get their support. My red eyes burned back at me from my reflection on every surface of the black car, evidence of my betrayal.

What scared me the most of the whole event was not being able to finish. Usually once the bloodlust has taken hold, there is nothing that can stop it but I just couldn't draw the last of the blood before I ran away. Something inside me snapped halfway through and I dropped the crumpled heap that used to be Bella Swan on the ground. I didn't even consider the consequences as I fled from the house. I would have to go back of course. Make sure there was nothing left there to link me or my family to her disappearance. I would have to clean up and dispose of the evidence. Destroy the evidence, our fundamental rule.

I considered the consequences of my action. The treaty with the Quileutes would be dead. I had broken the cardinal rule there, in the worst possible way – killing a human. At least none of the dogs were around anymore protecting them. We had made sure of that before we moved to Forks.

I tried not to picture the doe-eyed beauty or what I had done to her, but images came uncalled for. I thought about the riddle that had been her thoughts, how had she kept them so well hidden. I knew it didn't matter, there was nothing I could do to figure it out now. Another sob escaped my lips.

I felt like I would be sick over what I had done, but the taste kept ringing on my tongue, assaulting my senses. Oh God the taste! What I wouldn't do for someone else who smelled like that and who tasted like that. I would hunt the entire earth to find it again if I thought I could, and yet I had wasted it. I hadn't even finished. Bella Swan was dead and I wasn't even satisfied.

I knew her father would take the loss of his daughter hard. I could also hear the rumours that would start to circulate about him - Police Chief Swan, protector of Forks but unable to protect his own daughter. Perhaps if I could fake a runaway. After all, how much could she have meant to Chief Swan if she only moved back recently. She seemed unhappy today, although not knowing her thoughts did make that difficult to know for sure.

I tried to console myself with the knowledge that Chief Swan would be fine eventually. After all, he was human; human memories fade. He would get past this and move on. I felt an irritating buzz from my pocket. I pulled out my cell phone and checked the caller ID.

"Alice." I sobbed.

"Edward. I saw. I was too late to change anything but I saw. Jasper and I will clean this up. You do what you need to do."

"Don't tell Carlisle. Please." My voice was a hoarse whisper in my shame.

"I won't Edward, but you know he will figure it out."

I nodded numbly, not able to form complete words. I clicked the phone shut without any further conversation and slide into the driver's seat of the car, refusing to look at myself in any of the mirrors. I would drive without them, I didn't need to see the monster staring back at me with his burning red eyes. I started the car and drove, with no specific destination in mind.


	2. Torture

**Chapter 2: Torture**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

_Also, this chapter is just a bit of angst from Edward. He needs to vent. Sorry :) More is to come soon._

~ 0 ~

I couldn't say where I drove that first day, but I arrived back at home in the early hours the following morning. I returned Carlisle's car to the garage and then ran straight for the forest. In the few seconds I was near enough to the house, Alice's mind came to me loud, she was screaming for my attention but I didn't want to grant it. But in the end her _voice_ was too loud so I had to listen.

_You _will_ be at school tomorrow. Jasper and I made it look like Bella has run away, but if you don't go to school tomorrow it will be far too suspicious. _

I knew she was right, of course. Being a Cullen meant being meticulous. Covering up and never putting the family in danger. But that didn't stop a part of me screaming to run – run away from here as fast as possible. I knew if I left right now I could be in Canada before the sun rose and from there, who knew – I had no boundaries, I could swim or run wherever I needed to. Only two things stopping me. The first was love – love for my family whom I had betrayed so completely. I needed to keep them safe. If I could stay for just a week or two, long enough to avoid suspicion then I could run. And the other was the fact that I knew there would be no escape, no matter how far I ran Bella's death and my betrayal of my family would haunt me.

I couldn't stay with my family too much longer though. They deserved better than me. Even Jasper, who was so new to the vegetarian way of life and had lived for hundreds of years feasting on humans, had more control than I. The irony didn't escape me that because less than 24 hours ago we were all so worried about Jasper slipping, the atrocity I performed had occurred. If Alice hadn't been concentrating so hard on him, she may have seen the outcome of that biology lesson which marked the beginning of the end of that poor girl's life.

Alice had stopped shouting at me now, either that or I had put enough distance between us. I started to hunt. I decided I would hunt each day until I was bursting, anything to turn my eyes from the blazing red they were back to the golden-brown they used to be and as fast as possible. I brought down a deer with no effort, but the smell and taste turned my stomach and my previous plans went out the window.

I couldn't eat _that_, not while the most decadent taste in the world was so fresh in my mind. Of course, my memory of that taste would never dim so I wondered if I would ever be free of the horror that I had caused. I paused for a second in shock, what if I couldn't go back to my previous way of life. I refused to hunt humans again but the taste and smell of Bella's blood danced around my mind and the monster within me was using them to taunt me.

I dropped the buck I had in my hands and ran. I ran until the sun rose, at which point I turned and ran back home again. I scaled the wall and climbed in through my window. My family knew enough about me to know that if I chose this entrance I was not to be disturbed. My stomach twisted when I saw what was waiting for me on the couch in my bedroom. A pile of brown contact lenses and a note.

_These will get you through the day. Each pair will only last a few hours. I'm here to talk when you are ready –A_

The fact that she was still looking out for me despite the danger I had put her, and our whole family, in warmed my heart to my sister. Of course, that just made the guilt wrenching inside me worse.

I picked up enough sets of contacts to get me through the day and threw them into my bag. I would do this. I would go to school. I would make my family safe and then I would leave.

The next week was the longest, slowest one of my life. Every time I closed my eyes I saw _her. _When I was alone I saw her face, staring at me as she had before I had stolen her life. Her brown eyes watching me with acceptance, not fear. When I was around my family different images came into my mind. I saw _her_ still, it was always her – her face never left my vision - but now it was different. She was lying in a running stream, not very deep but cold. Her brown hair was wet and snacked around her, framing her face like seaweed, undulating with the current. Sometime her eyes were squeezed tightly shut and her face contorted into a mask of pain. Pain that I had caused. Pain that would never leave me as long as I lived, which was conceivably forever. Other times her face was calm, showing her as she was in death. Her eyes open, cherry-red irises stared unseeingly at the empty sky above her.

I couldn't spend time with my family as their thoughts were all filled with sorrow and disappointment so I had to work to block them out. And whenever I was near Jasper he seemed to absorb my guilt and bounce it around the house. My guilt would double, triple, and keep growing until I was pulling at my hair and clawing my face to stop the pain the guilt was causing.

I couldn't remember ever suffering like this when I had taken lives in the past. Back then it had been a mild, uncomfortable voice in the back of my head whispering of humanity. Now every muscle in my body, every cell, screamed at me for hurting her. I wondered if it was because this time the life that had been lost was completely innocent. Even on my worst days I had never killed an innocent.

Not until now.

But something else, deep within me, yelled that it was more than that. There was something about the girl, about Bella, that I needed to know. I needed to get to know her, get answers from that intriguingly silent brain of hers. I tried to ignore that voice though because it caused the greatest anguish of all. I would never know what secrets lurked behind those deep chocolate pools because I had extinguished them forever when I took her life.

Worse than being with my family was being at school. The thoughts of the students at school were all centred on one thing - wondering what had caused Bella to have such a bad time that she would run away after only one day. Mike Newton seemed to think I was the cause, my murderous glares hadn't gone completely unnoticed and I was momentarily glad I had heeded Alice's advice and returned to face the school. If Mike had voiced these suspicions and I wasn't here, the situation would have been much worse. That must have been what Alice had seen.

Alice was around the house even less than I was, disappearing each afternoon straight after school and reappearing shortly after me in the early hours each morning. I think she felt guilty for covering for me rather than letting Carlisle know but I couldn't know for sure because I still hadn't had a conversation with her since the day she had come to my rescue and helped with the Bella situation. Whenever she was in my presence she worked hard to translate the bible into sixteen different languages or sing the lyrics of some inane pop song repeatedly.

My only escape was my ability to run. Each night I ran to a different city, listening to the thoughts of random strangers in an attempt to drown out my own thoughts. It never worked. I still saw her face, her smile, the way her hair sashayed as she moved along the kitchen bench. My nose and throat still burned with the sensation of her smell and her taste. All my senses replaying memories of her, running forever on some horrible loop in my head.

I tried to hunt each morning on my way back to the house but every attempt had ended the same way as the first, with me holding the carcass of some animal unable to drink because the taste and smell are so sickening.

I was glad when the week was finally over. I had promised one week and that was what they would get. Tomorrow I would leave and they could spread whatever rumours they needed to about my disappearance. Today would be my last day at school. That thought comforted me as I pulled into the parking lot, the last one here. No, the second last. I could hear the frantic thoughts of one of the high school boys behind me, Tyler Crowley. He was running late, and wasn't taking anywhere near enough care on the icy roads. I had barely turned my ignition off when his van came screaming around the corner too fast and started to slide, it was completely out of control as it hurtled towards an empty parking space. It slammed into a brown sedan at a horrible pace.

I was going to sit in my car, unmoving but I could smell an alluring scent, still nowhere near as drawing as _hers_ was but strong enough to pull me from my car and across the lot. I had just reached Tyler's door when I felt Emmett's arms encircle me and Alice danced in front of my vision. Neither of them was breathing but Alice was keeping up a strong dialogue in her head, trying to calm me, to sate the bloodlust that had risen from the open wounds on Tyler.

They managed to drag me away and once we were a safe distance Alice called an ambulance. I sat with my head lowered in shame. I couldn't believe I was about to do it again, to slip and give my family more concerns. It solidified my decision. Then I heard a strange thought in Alice's head.

_I hope she's nowhere near, that smell might be too much for her. _

"Who?"

Alice looked at me, seeming dazed for a second before answering, "Rosalie. You know she can be a bit of a worry when it comes to open wounds."

I narrowed my eyes. That didn't make any sense, of all of us Rosalie and Carlisle were the only ones who had resisted the temptation to feed on humans. Why would it matter if she was near? I was sure she would be able to handle it, maybe not quite as well as Carlisle, but certainly better than the rest of us.

Alice just shook her head and stroked my face, trying to calm me down. It reminded me that I still hadn't spoken to her since that day.

"Thank-you," I said softly. "For everything."

She smiled grimly at me. "I just wish there was more I could do for you. I can see a long road ahead for you now." She pulled me close to her chest while I started to sob again.

I let my family down and now it was time for me to leave, but I would miss them terribly. Especially Alice. I opened my mouth to talk but her thoughts interrupted me.

_I'll miss you too._


	3. Insanity

**Chapter 3: Insanity **

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

~ 0 ~

I ran from the school to the house, leaving my keys with Alice. I wouldn't need a car where I was going, because although I didn't know where I was going I knew it wouldn't be too close to civilization. I would live in forests and force myself to feed on animals again. Maybe if I could do that, if I could exercise enough self-control, then maybe I could allow myself to return to my family. I wondered how many years, how many decades, that might take. I sighed.

I threw a handful of clothes into a rucksack before grabbing a photo of my loved ones and my passport and throwing them on top. I decided to take a mobile phone, just in case there was an emergency. Although the fact that it would be flat within a week and I had no way to charge it without going near humans would cause a bit of a problem but at least I had it with me. I would leave it off, but it would be my lifeline. My link to my family.

I took one last look around my room in sadness. I could hear Esme downstairs and knew that she knew I was up here, but I couldn't face her. I couldn't see the sadness that would be present in her eyes. She knew I was leaving – that there would be no other reason for me being home at this time of day – but she would allow me to say goodbye or not as I wished. It broke my heart that she was so sweet. She didn't deserve a son like me.

I jumped from the window and took off for the trees. Alice arrived home just as I hit the forest. I heard her confirm to Esme that I was leaving and heard the anguish in both their minds. But there was something else worrying Alice. If I hadn't been so intent to leave, I would have tried to talk to her about it. She was missing something or had lost… someone. I couldn't hear specifics because she was blocking me but I could read the tenure of her thoughts.

I didn't know where I was headed. It was strange. I used to was always be so sure of myself. I always knew exactly what I was doing, where I was going. But ever since... I closed my eyes and pushed away the thought but it crept up on me again. Ever since I met _her_ I'd felt lost. I had't been able to focus or think. I would find myself places with barely any recognition of how I got there.

As I raced through the forests of Forks, I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity. It was something I had been doing a lot lately, but I just didn't know what else to do. How do you start to function again when you have destroyed your whole life and your family?

As I ran, I saw a trail of wild roses running along a stream. There was something familiar about them, it _was _Forks and I had lived there for two years; plenty of time to run through the forests. Then I realised what was familiar about them and stopped dead in my tracks. They were the same colour as _her _lips. I fell to the ground and stared at the flowers. I noticed one flower had been pulled out from the ground and it felt like a tragedy to me. I gently picked it up and brought the petals to rest on my lips, allowing the smell to fill my senses. It even smelt a little like Bella, although it had nothing on the potency of her scent, and was very calming. I sat for hours surrounded by the wild flowers and the stream, not wanting to move away from the peace this place gave me but knowing I had to.

Eventually, I bought the rose to my lips one last time and threw it to the ground. I stood and began to run again. Again I had no destination in mind, I just allowed my body to be pulled in any direction. Before long, I found I was in a town. _Hadn't I sworn I would stay away from civilisation? _I looked around. The town was familiar. Port Angeles. It was close to home, so I would run here frequently. I decided to spend one more night roaming these streets before leaving America. Maybe I would go to Africa or Australia, where the sun would force me to stay away from humans for much of the day. Surely the less time I spent around them, the less I would be tempted?

I allowed the minds of the people next day to take over all my senses. It allowed me minutes of peace from the screaming of my own mind. I flicked through the minds of the many people nearby and those not so close. Then I stopped. One image in one mind caused me to block every other sound.

A girl, walking down the street with unnatural grace. Her long brown hair swishing as her hips swayed. But what drew me to this vision wasn't the girl, it was the thoughts of the man who was seeing her. He wanted her. He allowed his mind to be filled with the faces of all the other girls he wanted, all the ones he had claimed – always by force. I clenched my fists in anger over the images I was seeing. I felt like I had to protect the girl. As if doing so would make up for killing Bella Swan. I could see the area of town he was in so I ran in that direction. There were two of his friends nearby but no one else for at least a mile.

It was easy to locate them once I was in the general area. They weren't trying to be quiet, they were secure in their absolute power over the situation. They were teasing the girl, no longer trailing behind her but circling her instead. The girl was so shy she wouldn't even raise her head to look them in the eye. Her face looked so familiar and I knew why. My brain was imposing images of Bella on this brown-haired stranger. Trying to assuage my guilt by allowing me to rescue Bella from these monsters.

Just as I turned the final corner the scene in front of me changed.

The girl raised her head and stared straight into the eyes of her attacker. It was then I realised my mistake – and his. This was no damsel in distress. She was a vampire and he was _her _prey. I debated with myself whether I should try to stop her or not. On the one hand, he had been intent on taking her life a few minutes ago and I had been just as intent on taking his. But he was a human and he didn't deserve to die to be a meal. None of these men deserved it. Just like Bella didn't deserve it.

My momentary delay in action resulted in the decision being taken out of my hand. The vampire already had one of them clutched to her. I could smell the blood hit the air as soon as her teeth broke the skin. I stood transfixed by the simple beauty of watching such a divine creature feed. Then I felt horror at finding any beauty in the sight before me.

She drained the first man in less than a minute. His friends didn't even know there was a reason to panic until she threw his corpse to the ground. Just as they started to run the girl leapt after one of the others, she was closer to me this time and the smell of the blood _really_ hit me.

Without thinking about my actions, I took down the third man, forcing his head back and sinking my teeth into his throat. I drank deep, draining the body as quickly as she did. The taste had nothing on Bella but it was significantly better than any of the animals I had tried to force upon myself this past week.

The girl seemed to become aware of my presence and hissed at me for taking some of her supper. Instinct took over and I hissed back before growls and snarls started to rip from our throats and we circled one another, each trying to gain the upper hand. I stopped circling and sunk into a crouch. She mimicked my movement. In our current position she was standing in front of a street light and the light shone from behind her like a halo around her heart-shaped face.

Her red eyes whirled as she stared at me, she was obviously a newborn, not even a month old, maybe less. There something familiar about her. Very familiar. Especially with the fresh blood colouring her lips the way it did. Everything about her reminded me of Bella. Too much.

I wondered if I had gone insane, picturing Bella's face on every strange woman with brown hair, human or vampire. My mind spun at the thought of eternity haunted by her face. My breathing hitched as I imagined that image. I didn't know what was worse, the fact that I would be haunted by her face or the fact that I looked forward to it. There was something classically beautiful about her features, but not in flashy way. The more I thought about her face, and I had done nothing but think about it for the last week, the more I regretted taking her from the world forever. But it wasn't regret for what I did to my family any more. It was purely regret for what I did to her and by extension to me. It hurt me physically that I had hurt her.

Slowly my brain caught up with the events that had just unfolded. I had been just as surprised as the prey that he was about to be attacked by a vampire. Shouldn't I have got some sort of warning from her mind? I hadn't noticed a single sign of the impending attack on those men before it happened. In fact, I hadn't heard a single thought from this strangely familiar vampire in front of me. Even as she stopped growling as she took in my less aggressive stance and cocked her head as if in recognition - nothing.

I stumbled forward in shock as I realised I was wrong; I hadn't _killed _Bella….I had changed her.

I wanted to vomit. If I could have I would. My head was spinning and all the while Bella was standing there trying to place my familiar face. We each took a step forward, as if compelled towards each other by some unknown force. I raised my hand slowly, willing it to stop shaking so much, and placed my hand on her cheek. I rubbed my thumb on her face, as if to wipe away a tear and gently pressed my lips onto hers.

That was the reminder she needed and the realisation of who I was hit her. Without any warning, I found myself flying backwards through the air and colliding with a lamp post. I slumped to the ground, unable to get up and then my brain exerted its superior control over my body and I did vomit, emptying my stomach of all the glorious, warm blood I had just consumed. But I couldn't think of any of that. There was only one thought in my mind…

Alice! It all made sense in that instant. I fell to the ground, lying in the pool of blood, sobbing. I looked up to see Bella again, but she was gone.

"Bella," I croaked, before falling back to the ground.


	4. Intruder

**Chapter 4: Intruder **

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! I'm not a big fan of POV switches personally but Bella needed to tell her side of the story, there will be some cross-over with the first three chapters, but hopefully it won't be too repetitive & may even answer some questions :) Also, thank-you for the reviews! Every one makes my day like you would never know!_

- Bella POV -

My first day at Forks high school had been… interesting. Most of the students were nice, if somewhat overbearing towards the oddity that was the new student - me. There were only a few who didn't seem morbidly fascinated by the new arrival. Jessica had called them the Cullen's. It didn't surprise me that they would exist in their own little world though, they were all insanely beautiful. Especially the youngest. The bronze-haired boy with the black eyes - Edward.

I shuddered when I thought of him, remembering the murderous glare he had given me in biology and again when I ran into him at the office. That biology lesson was one of the most uncomfortable hours I had ever endured in my life. I sighed when I thought about having to face him everyday until the end of the school year. But there wasn't much I could do about it, we were stuck with each other as lab partners and I couldn't see any way to change that. I thought about what new surprises tomorrow might bring as I grabbed my iPod from my room and walked downstairs to start on dinner before Charlie got home.

I flicked through a few songs on my iPod before I decided to settle for the relaxing sounds of Clare de Lune. It was one of my mother's favourite pieces. Listening to it made me feel closer to her, even though I knew she was miles away, in Phoenix, packing up the last of the thing she and Phil would need for their trip to Jacksonville.

I gathered all the ingredients for the stew I planned for dinner on the kitchen bench and started cutting the vegetables. I felt myself swaying to the gentle music drifting from the headphones. I would never attempt to do anything more than simply swaying though, anything more than that was an invitation to meet the floor face to face. As if to demonstrate this concept I tripped over nothing as I attempted to go back to the fridge.

I froze.

Over the music I heard a sound that was impossible. A laugh - one single chuckle from behind me. I turned to see the source of the sound. I was greeted by the sight of the black eyes of Edward Cullen. But the look on his face now wasn't the murderous glare he had given me earlier. It was amused. I had a few seconds of confusion as I considered what he was doing here. I figured that he had obviously decided to apologise for making me uncomfortable today, it was a small town type of thing to do. It wouldn't have been hard for him to find out where I lived, in fact he probably already knew. Although exactly why he had felt the need to let himself in rather than knocking annoyed me a little but while my eyes were locked onto his I couldn't find it in me to stay upset.

As I continued to stare at him he took a step forward and his face became apologetic. He walked slowly towards me, raising his hands as he went. I tried to let him know without words that I was willing to accept his apology. But I wouldn't be the first to speak. In fact I wasn't sure I could speak. I was afraid if I opened my mouth a jumble of letters would come out. It angered me that he was so insanely beautiful that I couldn't function properly in his presence. I couldn't help the little bit of moisture that fell out of my eye. I didn't even understand why I had any tears, only that for some unknown reason my tear ducts were hardwired to my anger.

Once he was close enough he put his hands on my shoulders. Then he really surprised me, leaning in and touching his lips to mine for the smallest second. Even though it was so soft and lasted for the smallest fraction of a second, that kiss was by far the best thing I had ever experienced. Electricity shot from my lips and raced through my body. Then he gently pushed me away but never let me go. He reached one of his hands up to my face and wiped away the single tear tenderly with his thumb. He put his hand back on my shoulder and pulled me close again. This time he pressed his face into my neck and breathed. I moaned slightly with the pleasure the sensation caused.

Then the sharp stabbing pain started and my world faded to black.

*******

A voice called to me though the darkness and the pain. A high, ringing voice, it reminded me of bells. "Bella, it's alright. I'm here for you. I won't leave you alone. I'm sorry for what's happened."

There was another sound behind the voice, a horrible high-pitched wailing. It was a sound that perfectly matched the agony I was in. I had never experienced pain anywhere near this bad. I felt like I had been thrown in a funeral pyre and was burning. I wondered how long I would burn for before there was nothing left.

Over time, although I had no idea how much time, I began to distinguish between different sensations. The pain was ever present but I noticed other things as well. Like time. There were two distinct time phases that seemed to exist for me, I separated them into light and darkness. The light was horrible, there was no relief from the fire in my veins and nothing to distract me. The darkness was almost bearable. It was when the fire inside was almost quelled because of the cold water that surrounded my body and the voices that spoke to me. Two different voices. One was the high lilting one that had called me back from the darkness, and the other a more masculine voice that rang with an accent from the deep south. They spoke in whispered apologies and told me that I wasn't able to go back. I needed to choose to stay with them or go away on my own but I could never go back to my parents. Their words both scared and comforted me. I wanted to open my eyes but I was afraid the pain would be worse if I did.

My fourth cycle of darkness was coming to an end when I heard the voices change. They no longer whispered comforts to me. Instead they were discussing me, and they sounded concerned.

"Jasper. She should be awake by now. I've never known of a transformation that has taken this long."

"It'll be alright, darlin'. She'll wake up. You've seen it."

The high bell-like voice was now wracked with sobs, I wanted to reach out and sooth her but I was still burning too much. "How could he do this?" She sobbed. "Why couldn't I have seen it in time to stop it?"

"Shh, shh. It's alright."

"Jazz, I saw what was supposed to happen. This isn't it."

"Alice, you know better than I do how your visions work. A decision was made to change the course."

"Yeah, a decision by a stupid, selfish, jackass."

The male voice chuckled. "Do you still see the vision of you becoming friends?"

I didn't hear the answer. I wondered if the owner of the high voice nodded or shook her heads. Then I wondered why it mattered.

"See? It'll be fine. We just need to keep Edward away from this spot. He can't know about this. Not yet."

When I heard the name Edward I couldn't remember a face, just his eyes. Black eyes boring into my soul.

"I just can't face him, Jazz. I hate lying to him. He may be a jackass but he's still our brother."

Another chuckle, then the male voice turned serious again, "I know. Between you and him the guilt is so overwhelming in the house. I can't control it at all."

"And you don't feel guilty lying to him?"

A hard laugh this time, "Why do you think I can't control it."

"I just wish I could see when she will wake up. But my vision isn't certain yet. It's almost like there is a decision that has yet to be made to determine the timing."

"I know." I could hear fabric rustling; I assumed someone was rubbing someone else in comfort.

"I want to be here for her…" the bell-like voice was almost silent, quieter even than the leaves rustling in the trees, "to make up for before."

I heard footsteps heading away from me. I knew my next cycle of light was coming.

Slowly as my fourth time in the light started to end, and the light started to die, the burning began to fade. It contracted towards my chest. My heart beat faster, taking off like a humming bird. I heard footsteps coming towards me that almost matched the speed of my heart. Running too fast, I had never known anybody to run that fast. Not even the Olympic sprinters on TV. Then I realised I shouldn't be able to make out every footstep of someone running so fast, but I could. And I could make out the rustle of every leaf in the trees.

I heard the bell-like voice of my saviour coming towards me, this time the sound was melodious and carefree, "I told you it was time Jasper! Listen to her heart."

The male voice trilled with laughter.

My heart beat faster still as warm hands came to rest on my face and arms. Then it stopped. My breath caught. Hearts aren't supposed to stop. I was dead, but how was I still thinking, still functioning. I waited, counting out the seconds for my heart to start again. Nothing. Thirty seconds, forty, a minute. Surely a heart was supposed to beat at least once in a minute. I opened one eye tentatively and then slammed it shut again. I shouldn't have seen everything I saw in the split second it was open. And it certainly shouldn't have been so clear. I had never had a problem with my eyesight in the past but never before had I been able to make out individual patterns on bark or the individual veins on a leaf from a number of yards away with a split-second glance from one eye.

I heard hands clapping to my left. Based on the sound I could have pinpointed the exact location of those hands within an inch, it was confusing. I decided there was no reason to remain lying down, I would do what I always did. Face the world head on. No sooner had I made the decision to open my eyes and sit up I had. It was almost like there was no action in between.

The owners of the two voices jumped back at my sudden movement. The tall blonde male pulling the short, pixie-like black-haired female behind him, they were both familiar but I knew I didn't know them.

"Who are you?" I asked, then swallowed because that wasn't my voice.

The black-haired pixie spoke to me, "I'm Alice. And this is Jasper." She spoke slowly and deliberately as if not wanting to scare me with her words.

"What happened?"

Alice closed her eyes for a second, seeming to consider her options, as if she was unsure which path to take and something behind her eyes would give her the answers she needed. "You were attacked. It wasn't your fault but it means that you will never be able to see your family again."

"Charlie!" I leapt up and started to head in the direction I thought his house must lay.

Alice and Jasper pushed themselves in my way but still looked cautious. "You can't see him, Bella."

"Why not?"

"You are a risk to him now."

"What? Why? How?"

Jasper spoke this time, very deliberately, "Why don't you sit back down and we can discuss this. I promise we will answer any questions you have."

I flicked my eyes towards the space behind them but that blonde one was taller than me and looked stronger, he would be able to overpower me if I ran. I decided to hear them out and was on the ground already. "What happened to me?"

Alice sat across from me, but Jasper remained standing – looking like he was ready to pull her out of the way at a moments notice. Alice looked into my eyes and spoke, "As I said, you were attacked." Then she sighed and looked at the ground, "By my brother."

My eyes flicked up to Jasper. Had he attacked me? Was he the reason I was in pain for so long, maybe I could inflict some small amount of pain on him in return.

Alice seemed to anticipate my train of thought, "No. Not him. That's my husband. He helped you. Like me." She smiled at me and the sincerity rang in every word. I would remember that, she had been my saviour. Without her voice the dark would have been as bad as the light.

That made me think of another question, "Why did you leave me. When I was burning and in pain – you left me."

Alice's eyes filled with sorrow, "I needed to, see my family and I, we try to fit in with the human world. We needed to go to school. To pretend that everything was okay. But I am sorry about leaving you. I didn't want to."

School – I remembered where I knew these two from, "Cullen."

Alice nodded, "That's right. I'm Alice Cullen."

"But you said you try to fit in with humans, does that mean you're not…"

Alice's head shook gently before I had even finished my sentence so I didn't feel the need to complete it.

I felt frustrated and scared, "Then what…"

Jasper leaned over Alice and started to pull her up but she fought him off, "Give her some credit." Then she turned back to me, "Bella, this will be hard to believe but we are vampires. And so are you."

I thought about that for a minute, I was attacked. I remembered the black eyes staring at me, drawing me in. "Edward."

Alice nodded sadly again, "Yes, he was the one who attacked you. But he didn't mean to."

I hissed at her and Jasper jumped between us before she swatted him away again.

"What I meant is that it is hard to be around humans. We try to live differently from others of our kind, but sometime the call of blood is too strong to resist. Edward fought hard to stay away from you but he couldn't." She dropped her voice low, "In fact, it's a miracle that he stopped when he did."

I let that wash through me. Edward attacked me and I should be dead. But I was alive, different but still alive. I nodded again to let Alice know that I understood.

Alice scooted a little closer to me, and Jasper tensed up. She patted my hand, "I know it is difficult to understand right now, but you will. You will soon learn how hard it is to resist." Her eyes went blank and she gasped, "That is if you choose to resist."

I stared at her, unsure what she meant. She nodded to Jasper, obviously some previously agreed signal and he disappeared, although he cast a furtive look back at me before he left.

Alice knelt and put her arms out, "May I?"

I cocked my head to the side, trying to work out what she was asking when she slowly closed the distance between us and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm sorry, Bella."

I understood that she felt she was personally responsible for what had happened, even though she had no way of stopping it so I nodded and allowed her to comfort me.

A few minutes later a smell came drifting close to us. Alice dropped her arms and moved away from me. Jasper clutched a large buck in his hand, its throat beared and blood was dripping onto the forest floor. It occurred to me that I should have been repelled by the sight but instead it made my mouth water. I covered the distance to the buck and pressed my lips to its still warm throat and drew the blood into my mouth. It eased the burn, the one in the back of my throat that I had thought was just part of who I was now, but not completely. I began to wonder if there was a way to get the burn to disappear permanently. Was that what Alice had meant by being difficult to resist – would human blood satiate that thirst. I pushed that thought out of my head. I wasn't a cold blooded killer. I couldn't be.

After I had finished off the buck Alice and I sat and talked about her family. She explained as much as she knew about what I was now and their way of life, but I felt there was still some stuff she was holding back from me. Then she told me if I wanted to learn more I should talk to their adoptive father Carlisle, the head of their coven. I couldn't think about facing him yet. I didn't want to make any decisions about my future until I knew how I felt about what I had become and no amount of talking would help that decision. Alice explained to me it was the weekend now and either Jasper or her would be with me all day until Monday when they had to go back to school. I nodded vaguely to her, lost in my own thoughts.


	5. Bait

**Chapter 5: Bait**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! I'm not a big fan of POV switches personally but Bella needed to tell her side of the story, there will be some cross-over with the first three chapters, but hopefully it won't be too repetitive & may even answer some questions :) Also, thank-you for the reviews! Every one makes my day like you would never know!_

- Bella POV -

The weekend with Jasper and Alice was very pleasant. Alice had bought me some clothes from her house, I didn't know if they were the sort I would usually wear but they seemed nice enough and some part of me didn't care what I wore. Then they showed me how to hunt on my own, always making sure there were no humans in the area first.

We spent most of our time down by the stream surrounded by wild roses, the place I had woken up. One of the first questions I had asked Alice when she returned on Saturday was why I could remember being wet every time I heard her voice. She laughed and told me it was because when they had been with me, they thought the cold water in the stream would help with the pain of the venom. I nodded, it had seemed to dull it a little, but I could never be sure whether that was the water or the fact that I wasn't alone anymore.

Finally Monday came around and Alice hugged me sadly. I would be truly alone for the first time since I woke. Over the weekend either Alice or Jasper had been close by.

"You'll be fine." Alice whispered in my ear during the embrace. "It's only a few hours and then we'll come right back here." She started to walk away.

"Alice?" I asked, and she turned back towards me, meeting my eye. "I think I'm almost ready to meet the rest of your family. Just give me today to think about it, okay."

She smiled and then her eyes went vague for a split second, "Yes, you will want to this afternoon."

I couldn't help grinning back, she had explained all about her vision and I knew that was what had just happened, she had seen me meeting her family. Maybe they would agree to be my family too? I didn't know what I wanted out of this life anymore but I knew I didn't want to be alone.

After Alice and Jasper were gone I sat on the bank with my feet in the stream. I admired the beauty of the flowers around me and their smell, which was so much more pleasant with my enhanced senses. I pulled one out and rested it under my nose, taking a deep breath and inhaling the scent. The rose rested on my lips for a brief second before I dropped it back onto the ground. I decided to go exploring and see what was a bit further out then where Alice and Jasper had taken me.

I ran with no sense of direction, I just allowed my body to run where it wanted, to be pulled in whatever direction it fancied. I stopped running when I heard the sound of cars and people. A carpark. I walked closer to the thinning trees but didn't dare go any further and risk being seen. Jasper and Alice had been very specific when they explained that I had to disappear for all intents and purposes because if Charlie ever found out about me it could be deadly for him and me. There were laws about keeping secret the existence of vampires and the ones who enforced the laws were strict. So I stayed hidden. I scaled to the top of one of the trees and sat amongst the branches, watching the scene below me as the carpark emptied and students headed for their classes. The wind was blowing from behind me, which was good as I didn't want to be tempted with the scent of a human just yet. I knew I was nowhere near strong enough for that.

A silver Volvo pulled into an empty space, running late but for some reason the driver didn't get out. Then I heard the sounds of tires slipping on ice and a van came into view. The driver lost control and it slammed into a brown sedan at a horrific pace. The occupant of the Volvo seemed to wait, I wondered why they didn't go help the other driver. They had to have seen the accident. A few of the students were even coming down from the school. I recognised Alice and Jasper but I didn't know the third, although his face was familiar and I thought he must be a Cullen as well. Then the door flew open and a boy with copper-coloured hair ran at inhuman speed toward the stricken van, but Jasper and the black-haired boy caught up to him and restrained him, pulling him away. Alice put her hands on the sides of his face in such a loving gesture and spoke to him in a whispered hush that I couldn't make out even with my new abilities. I wanted to see the copper-haired boys face, something seemed very familiar about him but the other three were dragging him away and just then the wind changed direction.

*****

I was right about my inability to handle being in close proximity to humans. As soon as the scent of that boys blood had reached me I was drawn in. I couldn't stop myself and I couldn't help but notice how much my thirst was quenched especially in comparison to animal blood. But now he was dead. I drank until I felt his heart stop beating and I heard the sounds of alarm coming from the school. I knew it would only be seconds before I was discovered so I ran back into the forest. I didn't stop running until I reached a town.

I retreated back a little distance into the forest and fell to the floor. I couldn't believe what I had done. It wasn't just that I had drank from one of the students at the school I had attended a week ago, which was bad enough in itself. But it was the fact that I had thrown away my chance of life with the Cullen's. If there had ever been a chance for me to have a family it would have been with them. Truthfully, I wasn't sure how I felt about Edward – he was the one who attacked me after all, so I didn't really want to face him. He was to one and only reason I hadn't insisted on Alice taking me to her house sooner. But I thought I would have been able to forgive him eventually and I could have a family. I wouldn't need to be alone.

But I destroyed that chance. Alice had told me her father worked at the hospital, was one of their leading ER doctors. As soon as he saw the body he would know that although the boy had been in an accident the cause of death was a vampire attack. How could I face him after that? I would spend the rest of eternity alone. I folded legs up on myself, pulling my arms tight around me, struggling for breath, but not really needing it. I felt like I needed to cry but I couldn't, no tears would spring forth, just horrible wracking sound ripping through my chest and a prickly heat in my eyes.

It had always been easy for me to stick to a decision once I had made it, usually I wrestled with the decision making process. So it was today. I sat for hours sobbing and hugging my legs close into my chest before I made my decision that I would have to learn to survive on my own if that was the life I was destined for now. It was starting to get dark so I pulled myself from my current position. If I was going to live the life of a loner, then I was going to have to look out for number one first. And that meant hunting the normal way.

As I left the forest I found myself in the more rundown part of this town. I couldn't find anything that would give me a clue where I was. I was okay with that knowledge though, I didn't need to know where I was because it didn't matter. All that mattered was the next feed, and that would be all that mattered for me for the rest of eternity.

I heard the sounds of some drunk men coming up behind me and decided to dangle a bit of bait in front of them, if they chased it they would be supper. If not they could go free. I held my breath so that I didn't get caught up in their smell too quickly. I run up behind them and then started to pace at human speed past them. Once I was in their eye-line I dropped my chin to my chest in a move that was supposed to show how weak I was. Lull them into a false sense of security.

I turned down a side street, this was their opportunity for redemption or annihilation. I couldn't help but smile to myself when I heard the three of them follow. They whispered to one another about what they wanted to do to me. I sped my pacing up a little, again to show them how weak and human I was. I heard their steps speed as well. They weren't making any attempts to be quiet anymore but I couldn't hear anyone else around.

The overtook me and circled around me. One of them seemed disappointed that I wouldn't even meet his eye, something about not putting up a good fight. In the last moment of his life, even though he didn't know it yet, I granted him his wish. I met his eyes and heard his immediate reaction, his heart-rate and breathing sped. I smiled in satisfaction and pulled his throat to my teeth. When he put his hands in my hair to pull me away because of the pain I was causing him, I could tell that his friends thought he had the upper hand and was forcing me into his neck. There wasn't a trace of panic in their eyes.

Once I had finished drinking, I threw the corpse of the man onto the ground. Then his friends realised their mistake. I leapt after the one closest to me and had him succumbed in an instant. I would probably have to chase down the third, but he wouldn't escape, I would easily catch him. I dropped the second corpse to the ground and it was then that I noticed the presence of another vampire. He had already drained the third human. I didn't know my body could make the sound but I hissed at him in frustration.

He hissed back before snarling at me. Instinct took over and I found myself issuing a series of snarls and growls that I never would have been capable of when I was human. The other vampire started to circle me. I followed his actions, unsure how to react in this situation. He finally stopped circling and crouched low to the ground instead. I copied his move. The street light shone from behind me lighting his face. I knew vampires were inhumanly beautiful but this one seemed to outshine the rest. There was something familiar about him that I couldn't place. I knew he wasn't a Cullen because their eyes were all yellow. The boy in front of me now had crimson eyes, deep red now for the fresh blood he had just consumed. I continued to growl at him.

Suddenly he seemed to be having some sort of fit, he raised up out of his crouch, his breathing hitched and then he cocked his head to the side. I stopped growling, concerned for what was happening to him. He stumbled forward and looked pained. I wondered if vampires could pass out because he looked like he was going to. I took a step closer to him, meaning to find out if he was okay, but he took a step closer too. We continued like that until we were close enough to touch one another. He raised his hand slowly and placed in on my cheek. The whole thing rang with familiarity but I couldn't place it. He rubbed my face gently with his thumb before pressing his lips to mine.

It was in that instant, with his lips on mine and his eyes gazing intently into mine that I realised who this was. Edward Cullen. And his eyes weren't yellow because he had fed on human blood. My human blood. Instinct took over again, this boy was dangerous to me. I pushed against him as hard as I could and was surprised by how far and fast he flew away from me.

He hit a lamppost and slumped to the ground. I didn't know whether he was hurt or not but he vomited blood all over the street and then fell to the ground, sobbing. I turned and ran away.

I almost could have sworn in that instant that I heard his voice behind me saying one word.

"Bella."


	6. Destruction and Redemption

**Chapter 6: Destruction and Redemption**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

-Edward POV-

The blood around me had cooled and was starting to cake from being mixed with my venom when I came to my senses. Bella was nowhere around. Guilt ate at me. I felt guilty for destroying the soul of the poor girl rather than just killing her. If I hadn't stopped drinking she would be in a better place right now. But I felt glad that I hadn't killed her. That launched fresh feelings of guilt. How could I be glad of what I had created? Wasn't it bad enough that I was now on the wrong path, having destroyed any chance of returning to live with my family?

It was thoughts of my family that got me to my feet. I may have destroyed their faith in me but I was still a Cullen, and part of being a Cullen is being meticulous. Leaving no evidence. I looked at the scene in front of me and knew that if any other humans walked past this was bound to raise their suspicions. I quickly grabbed the three bodies and buried them deep in the ground in the forest, underneath the roots of a tall tree so it was unlikely anyone would search there. It had just started raining which was good because it would wash away some of the blood, but not enough. I broke into one of the warehouses that lined the street and hunted through their cleaning supplies. I found some bleach and poured the whole bottle over the blood. Then I pulled their fire hose out and washed the bitumen. I knew I wouldn't be able to get rid of all the traces, but it just needed to look like a fist fight or something similar had broken out. With a little bloodshed but no real violence.

When I had finished cleaning the scene I turned my attention to myself. My clothes were bloodstained and soaked. I had discarded my bag of spare clothes when I leapt onto my latest victim so it was lying on the ground, currently being soaked with the rain. The plastic lining I put on my passport would keep it safe but the clothes would be too wet to wear. I had to think. I needed a shower and a change of clothes. I started running in the direction of the more residential parts of town, but stuck close to the forest. If I could find a house of the outskirts, near the trees, where the residents were asleep I might be able to sneak a shower and some clothes. It was a risk of course, but I needed hot water and dry clothes right now. Hopefully that could make me feel a little more human, and a little less a monster.

The entire time I was destroying the evidence I felt like I was staring into a great precipice, I knew soon something would happen to knock me one way or the other but I didn't care. At this point, I would gladly take insanity if it removed the pain.

I found a house that seemed to meet all my requirements, and after listening to the thoughts of the neighbours to make sure none of them were paying attention I slid one of the downstairs windows open and climbed inside. I made my way to the bedroom, and assessed the form of the man sleeping on the bed. I estimated he would be a little bigger than me, slightly taller too maybe, but his clothes should be a good enough fit for now – and at least they weren't soaked with blood. I grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt and crept back to the bathroom. I turned the tap on as hot as it could go. I needed to feel fire at the moment. I needed to burn in penance for what I had done, and not only the Isabella Swan. I had released another monster on the world to prey on their children, husbands, wives, and there was nothing I could do to stop her.

I stood under the shower for longer than I meant to, allowing the water to scorch my skin. It didn't do any damage but I felt to burn was my penance. I dressed quickly before leaving by the window and running into the forest. As soon as I was clear I burned my blood-soaked clothes.

Then I turned and ran. I couldn't go back to my family, not now, not ever. I couldn't bear to see the look of disappointment in their eyes when they thought about what I had done. There would be no going back for me. I was going to embrace the monster within.

*****

-Bella POV-

I didn't allow myself to look back when I heard his cry. I knew he wasn't calling for me, he had been surprised to see me. Alice had explained that he thought he had killed me. I couldn't believe it had taken him so long to recognise me. But then I hadn't immediately recognised him either. But that was because every time I thought of his name I saw coal black eyes staring into my soul. Not the red ones I had seen tonight. Part of me wanted to turn back and confront him, but I didn't know what I would say. How do you confront someone who tried to kill you?

I ran deep into the forest before collapsing on the forest floor. I sat unthinking, unmoving, unseeing, until I felt warm arms wrap around me. Edward? I thought but shook the thought out of my head immediately. He wouldn't follow me here and he certainly had no reason to comfort me.

"Bella, it's alright darlin'" I heard Jasper say and sweeter words had never been issued.

"How did you find me?"

"Alice. She had a vision of you coming here."

"Did she have a vision of... before."

He nodded solemnly, "We understand what it's like. Me most of all."

I dropped my eyes in shame.

He tightened his hold, "Come back to the house with me."

I met his eyes, "You still want me to come?"

He nodded, "Everyone's real anxious to meet you."

"But then why didn't Alice come get me herself?"

He chuckled, "That's my fault actually, see newborns are dangerous."

"Newborns?"

"Like you. New to this life. I have a bit of experience with newborns see?" He raised the sleeves on his arms.

My instinct took over and I hissed at him, scooting myself away. He had criss-crossed bite patterns all over his arm. No one could have that many scars and not be dead or dangerous. He watched my reaction through narrowed eyes but when I did nothing further he laughed, "See – newborns are instinctual. Everything is stronger, more confusing."

I nodded my head, that was definitely how I was feeling.

"So do you want to come back to the family?" He stood and extended his arm down to me.

I smiled and allowed him to help me to my feet. "How do we get there?"

He grinned, "Follow my scent – if you can."

I punched him playfully and then we were off, running back in the direction of Forks. I kept pace with him easily, in fact if I had known the direction I was sure I would have overtaken him. It didn't take as long as I thought before we were running out of the trees and into a meadow. In the middle of the meadow stood a large white house, the whole back wall looked like one giant window. Its styling was period but it was meticulously kept. Not a single siding panel was out of place or off colour and it was huge.

"Wow." It was the best I could come up with.

Jasper smiled at me and offered me his arm, "Shall we, ma'am?"

I nodded, fear rising in my chest. Would they be as forgiving as Jasper seemed to think? I knew Alice would, but what about the others.

"We're home." Jasper called at little over speaking volume, but I think it was just for my benefit. I knew every vampire in the house would have heard our approach, but they didn't want to overwhelm me.

Five other vampires filtered into the living room. I knew Alice and gave her a little smile, she gave me an encouraging one back. Then I recognised the black-haired boy, well man really, and he had an impish grin on his face. His arm was wrapped around a knock-out blonde. Women like that don't exist in real life – she was beautiful, even by vampire standards. The other two were a little older so must have been Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle was a very attractive blonde who had his arms wrapped securely around Esme, who had long honey coloured hair and a soft expression on her face.

"Bella," said Alice, "this is my family. Emmett and Rosalie, and Carlisle and Esme." She pointed out the pairs as she said their names.

Carlisle released his hold on Esme and walked forward slowly, offering his hand, "Lovely to meet you, Bella. I only wish it could have been under better circumstances."

I thought he must have meant my hunting today so I turned my eyes onto the floor in shame, but Alice bounced over and whispered in my ear, "He means he wishes Edward hadn't done what he did to you."

I raised my eyes back up to meet his and all I saw was compassion so I gave him a smile as a thank you.

Alice grabbed my hand, "Come on, I'll show you to your room. You'll be spending a lot of time in it until we move."

"You're moving?"

Carlisle was the one who answered me, "It depends on you, Bella. If you want to stay with us it will be safer for us to move."

I shook my head, "I don't want to force you from your home. I'll leave."

He chuckled once, "We'll have to move on soon enough anyway so don't think anything of it."

I nodded, I would have to make up my mind soon then. I allowed Alice to drag me up the stairs. She took me to a room at the end of the corridor. The first thing I noticed was the smell, the most glorious scent filled the room, familiar but I couldn't place it. The next thing I realised was that this room must have been at the rear of the house because the entire back wall was completely glass. The view from the window was breathtaking – overlooking the winding Sol Duc River and across the forest of the Olympic Mountain range.

The left hand wall was covered with shelf after shelf of CDs. I had never seen so much music in one place that wasn't a music store. In the middle of the CDs was a sophisticated-looking sound system with speakers that wouldn't look out of place at a rock concert. The floors were covered in a thick golden carpet and the walls were hung with a heavy fabric in a slightly darker shade. A large black leather lounge sat in the middle of the room. The closet door hung open slightly and I could tell it was stocked with clothes, men's clothes.

This room was already occupied. I was about to question Alice when she looked at me, "It's Edward's room." She said apologetically, "But we thought you'd want your own space and this was the best we could do on short notice."

"Won't he be using it?" I hadn't thought about Edward when I accepted Jasper's invitation to return to the house. I wasn't sure that I wanted to see him, let alone stay in his room.

"No," Alice said sadly, "Unless something changes, Edward is going to be away from the family for a long time."

"But you said you were moving soon? Won't he be going with you?"

"Edward will always know where to find us. And if he was ready to come back I would be able to find him." She smiled, but it was a touch slow to reach her eyes.

"You'll miss him." It wasn't a question.

She nodded and sat on the couch, I sat next to her, "I know it's probably hard for you to understand after what he did to you, but he is my brother. Besides Jasper he was the one I was always closest with. He understood what it was like to be a freak." She chuckled at the word, like she didn't agree with it.

"It may sound strange, but I do understand. At least I think I can. After... well earlier, I can understand the call of human blood."

She shook her head, "No, Bella. Edward was strict to our lifestyle for 70 years, in all that time he never slipped up once. And he has never taken blood from an innocent before."

"But then why?"

"Because your blood sang for him."

"Sang?"

"Try to think back to your human days. If you were hungry and had been existing on plain rice for years and then your favourite food is placed in front of you. Do you think you could resist it?"

I strained to think about what she was saying but I came up blank.

"I'm sorry, that wasn't a very good analogy. What I am trying to say is it was almost like your blood was the exact match for Edward's thirst. He could search the world over and never find anything that would satiate him the same way."

I thought about the men, even when I was draining them the fire in my throat remained a dry, scratching ache. I realised I had only discarded the bodies once they were fully drained. I would never have been able to stop part way. "Then how did he stop? Why?"

Alice shrugged, "I don't know. I honestly can't answer that. I don't even know if Edward would be able to."

She stood and started to leave the room.

"Alice," I called after her, "about the boy... at the school. I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble."

She put her hand on my shoulder, "Bella, of course we wish that it hadn't happened but I warned Carlisle once I knew it was too late. It could have been much worse, no one saw you at least."

I nodded, casting my eyes downwards.

"It'll be okay Bella. We'll get through this the way we always do."

I looked at her in confusion.

"By sticking together." She smiled and gave me a peck on the forehead before leaving the room.

_**A/N: Just a quick note now that you have finished the latest chapter. I have 2 ideas where this story will end up. Characters sometimes end up taking me on wild rides but at the moment it is pretty 50/50 which storyline will come out on top so I want your feedback on which you would prefer. A happily ever after or something a bit more dark? Let me know :) If I really can't decide I might write both & see which one is more authentic.**_


	7. Amongst the Wild Roses

**Chapter 7: Amongst the wild roses**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! Thanks everyone for the awesome reviews! I love them & it makes the stories easier to wrte, so keep em coming (if you like) :) I'll update regardle cause I'm addicted to this at the moment :) Sorry for the major POV jumping in this bit but Bella & Edward kept interupting each other._

-Bella POV-

I stared around the room, uncertain what to do next. The selection of music Edward had amassed drew my attention. I was surprised to find it was very eclectic, punk rock sitting next to classical. I couldn't see any rhyme or reason to the way it was ordered, so I just flicked through the CDs at random. Finally my hand settled on one and I pulled it out without looking at the case. I was surprised to find it was Debussy. I worked out how to use the stereo system and put on Clare de Lune. Then I set the system to repeat and lay down on the couch. The music was so clear, each note ringing out beautifully, like the orchestra was in the room with me. I lay on the bed for a while as the music flowed around me.

On the seventh playback I got bored with just listening and started to hunt around Edward's room feeling both horrified at myself and justified in my actions. I found a stack of handwritten books and my curiosity got the better of me. They were all small and leather-bound. Some of them smelt old and musty, like old library books. Each had a year written on the outside, starting from 1918. I pulled out the oldest one and started to read. I felt ashamed as soon as I realised these were Edward's journals. That felt like too much of an invasion of privacy but for some reason I couldn't help myself but read.

His handwriting was immaculate and the way he spoke it felt like he was detailing my experience so far. I found myself feeling sorry for Edward despite what he had done to me. Paragraphs seemed to jump out to me, begging to be read and understood.

"_I can't understand what I have done to deserve this type of punishment. Carlisle is convinced of his, and my, soul and is devout in his belief that drinking animal blood is the right way to do things. But if that is true why do humans smell so appealing?"_

"_I surprised Carlisle with my control today. I actually turned away from a human who was close enough that I could reach out and take if I wanted to. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but although it has only been a few weeks since I woke to this life I understand why Carlisle does what he does and that makes it bearable. Yesterday, I saw a mother with her child and watched the love cross the mothers face with each movement of the child. How could I ever dream of taking that mother away or the child. I have decided I will lead the life that Carlisle has asked of me. I want to be good. For Carlisle, but also for me. For my own soul, even if it is a lost cause."_

"_Carlisle is helping me gain better control of my mind-reading. I often find myself answering thoughts rather than words which will make me stand out as a freak when I try to live among the humans. As if thirsting for their blood didn't make me enough of a freak." _

I was surprised, although I probably shouldn't have been, to realise that, like everything else in this new life, reading was effortless for me. I read through the years when Carlisle found Esme and how happy Edward had been for them both. I was soon up to 1927 and there was only one paragraph in the book.

"_I slipped today. I was helping Carlisle at the hospital but there was too much blood in the room and I couldn't control myself. Carlisle stopped me before I did anything I would regret and sent me out the back to recover. _

_I heard the thoughts of a foul man accosting one of the nurses. I wanted to help her. I walked to the car and pulled open the door. The man leapt from the car intent on fighting me. When he punched me he broke his fist and his knuckles bled. That was too much for my already tenuous self-control. As I write this my eyes reveal my decision to take that man's life and I can't face Carlisle or Esme. I have to leave home and I am not sure when I will be back." _

There were no more journals until early 1931.

"_I returned to Carlisle and Esme a month ago. They didn't ask the details of the life I led while I was away, just welcomed me home with open arms. I feel like it is too much but I know I am truly blessed to have people as loving and forgiving as them in my life. Since arriving home I have been glutting myself each night and staying away from humans. I will continue to do this until I feel I have some control over the monster I have become."_

It seemed like Edward had poured his soul into these journals and that made me sad, because it meant he had no one to talk to about the feelings he had. Carlisle and Esme didn't care what he had done when he was away, so long as he was returning to their way of life – returning to them. But would they have listened to the details if it helped sooth Edward? Would he have let them?

I sat reading the journals for hours, committing each detail to memory. In so many places they were poetic and heartbreaking. But never was there a mention of anyone who had captured his heart. He had been so lonely. I wondered if he had ever told anyone just how lonely he felt. From the details in his journals he sounded more like the type to shoulder the responsibility himself and shield the others from his pain. I felt my heart shatter for this poor soul. I held no anger for him. I wished he would come home to his family.

*****

A fortnight had passed since the night I last saw Edward in Port Angeles. No one had heard from him at all and whenever we asked Alice about it her answers were so strained I could tell he was hunting and she was witnessing each event. Every day while the others were at school and work Esme would set about cleaning the house and I would retreat to my, Edward's, room.

I would put on one of the CD's on which his scent was strongest. I gathered these were his favourite ones. Then I would lay all the journals out on the bed and read. I didn't need to actually read the words, I had them memorised by heart, but rather I was seeing the words in Edward's script and smelling the scent of the journals, a combination of old leather and Edward's scent. It was on one of these days that I made the startling realisation that although I had never spoken one word to Edward I was profoundly in love with him. And it was my fault he was away from his family.

I was processing this unusual discovery when Alice came charging into the room. "Um, Bella. I think it might be time for you to go hunting with me."

I narrowed my eyes at her, she was supposed to be in school still, "I'm not really thirsty. Jasper took me out just the other day."

She nodded, "You're not thirsty yet, but it will hit you very soon. And when it does you will be in a situation where you might be tempted to take a life again."

I didn't want that. Not after Carlisle and Esme offered me a place in their family. Not after the faith Alice and Jasper had shown in me. But especially not after reading how hard Edward had struggled for so many years because he believed it was the right thing to do. It was odd that his opinion would mean so much to me, but it did. It mattered greatly to me what he thought of me. So I allowed Alice to lead me from the room, but she quickly turned and threw the journals back into their usual position before leaving.

*****

-Edward POV-

Almost two weeks had passed since I had returned to my family. In those two weeks I had committed atrocities that I couldn't even bare to think about, but unlike last time when each vengeance killing, each rescue of a damsel in distress, stabbed at my conscience and made me regret it they now soothed me. I wanted to make anyone who would hurt an innocent girl suffer. That included me. Whenever my conscience ached it pleased me. By killing those men, I was killing the part of me that had inflicted unspeakable damage on Bella.

I couldn't believe how much I thought about her. She should have been just a blip on my radar. Like Emmett – he had slipped and mourned for what he had done, but then he had been able to move on. Stay with the family. And they forgave him. Forgiveness and understanding came with the territory. I decided I would do it, I would return to the family. Face up to what I had done. We could move past this. Together. We Cullen's worked best when we stuck together. After my decision was made it was easy. I was about a two hour run from home, if I ran none stop. And I would. I would go to my room first and shower and change so that I would look presentable when I begged my family for forgiveness.

I almost smiled as I ran. I could ask them about _her_ too. I knew if I was being honest with myself that was the real reason I was returning. I wanted to find out if she was alright, to see whether they knew where she was. I knew Carlisle would feel responsible for her situation and would try to help her out as much as possible. I ran without care, my destination assured. When I hit Forks, my heart lifted in ways it hadn't since I left. It was as if part of me had been turned back on. I wondered if it was my humanity. I reached the house in record time, scaled the wall and entered my room.

I froze. Something was wrong. My room should not smell this good. It should be covered in my scent, but it isn't – the scent that is permeating of every surface makes my head spin with delight. I recognise it at once even though I hadn't been exposed to it much. It was Bella's scent. They had given Bella my room – to make up for what I had done I was sure. They didn't want me to live with them anymore, that was the only logical conclusion. Bella had taken my place as the seventh Cullen. And I couldn't hate her for it. What other choice did she have? What other choice did they have? I left them after all. I made straight for the window again, all decisions to stay wiped away again. I would resume my life of vengeful hunting. Ensuring the streets were safe, from everything but me.

I ran towards the sound of water. I remembered the stream with the roses that had comforted me so much last time. When I arrived on the spot I found it didn't have the same effect on me, the smells were different – washed out almost. I grew angry. Angry with everything, mostly myself for not being strong enough to resist the call of her blood. But also angry with this spot for not comforting me now, when I needed it most. I tore at the roses, ripping them apart and leaving it scattered everywhere. When I finally calmed down enough to see again I was sitting in the middle of a sea of blood red petals.

I heard a sound behind me and an angel walked from between the trees.

*****

-Bella POV-

Alice had taken me for the worlds shortest hunting trip. I had barely taken down my first elk when she declared it was time to go home.

"What's going on Alice?" I asked her. I could tell she was hiding something from me.

"It's nothing really."

"Alice?"

"Nothing, just go back to doing what you were doing."

I nodded, watching her warily. I knew something else was going on here. I climbed the stairs and pushed open the door to my, Edward's, bedroom. Immediately I knew something was wrong. The smell had been disturbed, a new scent added. No not new – it was just fresh. Edward had been in the room recently.

Alice came charging up the stairs, "Sorry, Bella. I just couldn't see how he would react when he saw you reading his journals. His mind is too erratic at the moment."

"I'm going to go find him."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

I wheeled on her, "I don't care, Alice. I'm going to go find him. Wait here."

She nodded.

I followed Edward's scent to the window and leapt out. I caught it again near the entrance to the forest. I wasn't great at this tracking thing, but it was a bit easier because the scent trail was so fresh. I could hear the sound of running water nearby. I recognised the area as the one I had woken in.

I pressed on cautiously, mindful of Alice's warning that Edward was unstable. As if to demonstrate the point I saw him just then, tearing up the roses and scattering the petals all around. Finally he fell forward onto his knees. Surrounded by a sea of blood red.

I walked toward him with my palms raised, indicating I wasn't a risk.

He crawled forward at barely human speed and we met on the edge of the circle of red. He reached out and grabbed my skirt pressing his face into the material.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." He chanted. He looked lost and broken. I could see the person from the journals here in character in front of me. I knelt before him while he remained clutching my skirt. I cupped his face with my palms and bought it up to look at me. I smiled at him and saw his being shatter. I saw his internal walls crumbled down and in a moment of pure intensity our life stories were played out for one another in our eyes. I pushed my face forward to meet his lips and closed my eyes. Soon we were lips touching lips, hands touching faces and we were lost in each other. It was impossible for me to tell where I ended and he began. His hands moved into my hair and down my back. I twisted my fist into the back of his head and pulled him closer. Our bodies pressed hard against one another.

He twisted me gently onto the ground, laying me on a bed of rose petals and started to unbutton my shirt. His lips met my skin everywhere it was exposed. Soon we were entwined in each other pressing closer and closer still. Neither of us wanted to let the other go. I had still never said a word to him but I knew he was my soul mate.

*****

-Edward POV-

The angel walked towards me and I didn't know what came over me. I crawled towards her on my knees, begging her silently for forgiveness. When she was close enough I reached out for her, clasping a handful of material that was infused with her scent. I pressed it to my face, inhaling deeply of the scent. I whispered my apologies again and again. I thought the angel would punish me. Ban me from her presence, but instead she knelt before me and gently cupped my face. In that moment I felt a shift in me. Nothing I needed was important, nothing I wanted mattered. All that mattered was the beautiful angel who had graced me with her love. She leaned forwards toward me and I took the opportunity while it was at hand, pressing my lips to her, so gently at first. But then a need arose in me, stronger than the desire I had for her blood. I need to know her, everything about her, and I needed to start now.

I twisted her so she was below me, ready to move if she gave me the slightest indication of her discomfort or displeasure. I slowly removed her shirt, kissing every inch of her while I had the opportunity. I stared down at her, pale white skin glowing dimly amongst the blood red of the roses, her brown hair splayed behind her. She was an angel, a goddess, but, for this moment at least, she was mine.

_**A/N: This is not the end, as much like an ending as it may seem. There will be a couple more chapters at least :)**_


	8. Call of the wild

**Chapter 8: Call of the wild**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! This is chapter is a bit of fluff between Edward & Bella – sorry, but I need to get this out of the way._

-Edward POV-

We lay in each other's arms, our discarded clothing scattered as widely as the rose petals we lay on. We had been so wrapped up in each other I had no idea how much time had passed. It may have been minutes, it may have been days. There was so much to be said but I didn't want to speak for fear of ruining this perfect moment. I curled my body around hers, absently stroking the skin on her stomach. I wanted to lean over and kiss the spot my hand was touching but I was too afraid that if I moved she might leave. I had no idea why she had allowed me to know her so intimately or what it meant for me, or her.

Eventually she let out a sigh, it sounded contended but was it really regretful? She gently pushed me off her but clasped my hand tightly. She stood and the sunlight hit her body, sending rainbows in all directions. I had never seen anything more beautiful. She pulled my hand gently and I followed her lead as she walked towards the stream. I picked up my pants as I passed them and tugged them on as we walked.

"This was where I woke up," she said. Such a simple sentence yet it did something profound within me, my whole body seemed to sing with the notes she produced in her clear bell-like voice. I had never heard such a beautiful sound. She laughed a little and music filled the forest. "During the night they would lay me in the river to cool the fire."

She let go of my hand and lay down in the stream. The water caressed her body closer than I had been able to. I felt jealous of its ability to be so close to her, hugging every curve. She stared up at the sky, her eyes unfocused, a small smile dancing on her lips. The scene was somehow familiar but I couldn't concentrate enough to realise why, not with the way her lips turned up slyly.

"You're beautiful when you smile." I said to her and she turned her head in my direction and positively beamed at me. The sight took my breath away.

"Why did you come here?" She asked.

"I found this spot a couple of weeks ago. It was so beautiful and calming, I hoped it would be again."

Bells filled the forest again as she laughed, "You didn't look very calm when I arrived."

I cast my eyes downwards. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

She shifted her position to meet my eyes, "Don't ever be sorry. I want to see every part of you, to know every part of you."

"But why?"'

"Because I love you."

I choked back the sound that was on my lips. I wasn't sure if it was a shout of ecstasy or a sob. "But look what I did to you."

She looked sad, "I will miss my family and my old life. But I think I understand why you did it. And I am thankful you found a way to stop when you did."

"I didn't choose to stop." I don't know why I was telling her this, she would run once she knew the extent of the monster I was.

"Then why did you?"

"I don't know." The memory of the taste of her blood swam in my head, "You tasted so good. I wanted to take every part of you into me but I couldn't. I don't know why."

I thought she would be frightened or angry by my confession, instead she nodded like I was confirming some suspicion she already had.

"Do you know why Alice hid it from me? Why she didn't tell me that you weren't dead."

"No, sorry, but I know she has been very worried about you. They all have. And her visions of you shift so much she is never sure what you are going to do. I think she was worried how you would react – what you would do. To me." She said it so simply, as if she was completely reconciled to the fact that I might have hurt her. That I had hurt her.

I thought about it for a breif moment. What would I have done if I had found out about Bella earlier. Early enough to stop the transformation. The answer that sprung to my mind was horrifying. I would have stopped it. I would have done everything in my power to save her soul before it was too late. But then the beautiful vision before me now wouldn't have existed. I pulled my hand through my hair to try to get rid of the thought. I wanted to run from the very idea of destroying her, a physical need to put one foot in front of the other and go. My breathing became erratic and I took a step away from her.

I didn't even hear Bella move but suddenly her hands were on my face. Steadying and calming me with nothing more than her eyes. I felt like she was my protector. She would keep me sane regardless of what the world threw at me.

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pushed my head into the crook of her neck. I allowed my senses to be filled with her. Her scent on my tastebuds. Her hands in my hair. Her bare skin pressing against my chest. There was no denying the profound effect she had over me. She nestled me like a child until I felt calm enough and surrendered into her.

She pulled back to look at my face. I wondered what she read there. If she knew how much of an effect she had over me. If she knew I loved her too. But should I? Did I deserve the love of this angel?

"You shouldn't think so much," she chuckled, running her finger over the furrow in my brow. Then she leant forward and kissed the spot.

"You're too good for me." I couldn't help the words from spilling out as soon as I thought them.

Her laughter filled the air again, "Hardly. I've done things I should be ashamed of too."

"Don't worry about slipping up with those men. You shouldn't have to be ashamed of what I made you into. I should be."

"I wasn't talking about that silly."

"Then what?" She seemed almost embarrassed and that thought pushed me to question her further.

She looked away for a second, as if debating whether she should tell me. I wished I knew what went on inside that head of hers. Finally she whispered, "I read your journals. I'm sorry. I didn't realise what they were until I started but then...I couldn't stop."

I laughed, "That's what you're ashamed of?"

She nodded, "I invaded your privacy when I had no right."

"I took your life when I had no right. That's worse."

She laughed, "You're right – that is worse." But the wide smile on her face told me she wasn't serious.

I ran my hands through her hair, "How can you be so flippant about it?"

"I was upset at first, but I have experienced the bloodlust of a normal hunt. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if I found my singer."

"Singer?"

"It's a term Alice used – my blood sang for you. I don't think you ever had a choice."

"There is always the choice."

She smiled her knowing smile at me, "Maybe. But what's done is done."

She pushed her lips back onto mine and slid her tongue along my lips, requesting entry. I parted my mouth slightly and allowed her to take control. It wasn't long until my body was aching with need for her. I pulled her gently to the ground and caressed her again amongst the rose petals.

*****

-Bella POV-

The day with Edward was without doubt the best experience of my life. If I had known pleasure like that could exist I would have sought it out. It wasn't just the physical pleasure, it was as if our soul connected and communicated in their own way. I thought I understood him from his journals but seeing him in person made me realise there is even more that he is hiding, that he couldn't even write in his private journal. It made me want to learn even more about him.

I felt him trying to pull away a few times during the day. He was scared of something but I didn't know what. It was almost as if he didn't think he was deserving of love. It had surprised him so much when I told him I loved him. It had surprised me too. I knew it to be truth with my entire being but saying the words out loud made them more real.

I knew our perfect day was coming to a close. After hours spent doing nothing more than learning every inch of each other it would soon be time to decide to move onward into the unknown or return to the Cullen's. I didn't know what Edward wanted but I knew my decision. I would follow him to the ends of the earth if I had to. I would feed however he needed to. I existed for the sole purpose of satisfying every need Edward ever had. The only way I would leave him now was if he sent me away. He would have to say the words though, I wouldn't allow him to simply run away.

I slowly gathered my clothes, enjoying the sensation of Edward's eyes roaming over my body. I dressed slowly, with deliberate motion and care. Then I helped Edward into his shirt before pulling myself close to him and laying my head upon his chest. "Where to now?"


	9. Predators

**Chapter 9: Predators**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

-Bella POV-

"What do you mean where to?" Edward looked confused. I don't think he understood that I meant to follow his lead, wherever that might take us. I couldn't understand why he didn't seem to know these simple things about me when he could read minds. His journals described his constant struggle to seem normal when he could anticipate what other people were going to say or do. Why couldn't he simply pluck the truth from my mind?

"You're not ready to go home yet." I meant it as a question but it came out as a statement.

He shook his head, the wild look returning to his eyes. "I want to... I can't."

"They'll be there for you when you are ready. Until then, I'm here for you."

"But why?"

I laughed, I didn't understand how he didn't notice the love radiating through every word I spoke, every movement I made, in every thought. "I told you, I love you."

He shook his head, "But you can't."

I picked up his bag and clasped his hand in mine. We didn't need to have this conversation right now. We would go west, away from his family until he was ready to return. They wouldn't need to move on from Forks without me there with them. When I gave his hand a slight pull he fell into step behind me. I lead and we ran together for hours. It was dark before we emerged in a town. Even though Edward had no doubt been feeding regularly since being away from his family, I could see the stress he was under drained him just as regularly. I could see by the darkening in his crimson eyes that he needed to feed again soon.

We emerged from the forest hand in hand and walked into the town. To any onlookers we would have looked like lovers walking hand in hand. I led him into a bar. I could see his jaw shut tight and he stopped breathing. I pushed him into a dark corner.

I stroked his face. "Will you wait here for me?"

He looked at me, "Do I have a choice."

"There's always a choice." I smiled at him, turning his own words back on himself. "But I would like it if you waited here."

He nodded.

Over the course of the next half hour, I walked the length of the bar twice. I watched Edward from the corner of my eye, he hadn't taken a single breath. I also noticed his eyes tighten each time I passed a particular pair of men. The third time I walked down the length of the bar I cast a shy smile in their direction before walking out the door alone. I heard two chairs scraping across the floor. I smiled to myself. I knew the two men following me were predators. Even if I couldn't pick their thoughts I could tell by the small shifts Edward made whenever I came in sight on them.

I adopted the position of weakness, head dropped to my chin, casting quick nervous glances behind me. The men following me where getting excited by the chase. They didn't even hear Edward's quiet footsteps behind them.

-Edward POV-

She had asked me where to. Her voice had been so assured that wherever we were going it was going to be together. Despite everything that had happened during our perfect day together I still couldn't understand why she wanted to be near me. Why she would want to stay with me. I wished to whatever higher power existed that I could know a small part of her thoughts. I needed to know what drew her to me. I asked her, "What do you mean where to?"

"You're not ready to go home yet." She said it as if she were telling me a simple fact.

Was she right? I had tried to return home but was I really ready? I knew in my heart of hearts I wasn't. I needed to make more people suffer for the pain I inflicted on Bella. Even if she was accepting of what she was now. How could I hope to explain that thought to Bella without disgusting her, "I want to... I can't."

"They'll be there for you when you are ready. Until then, I'm here for you."

My heart soared hearing that, but I couldn't understand what I had done to deserve such an angel in my life. "But why?"

She laughed, god how I wish I knew what she was thinking. "I told you, I love you."

"But you can't." I said. It wasn't possible for a goddess like her to love a monster like me.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me gently. It wasn't a conscious decision to follow her, but I couldn't resist the lure of falling into step beside her. We ran for hours. Eventually she pulled me towards a town. She slowed us down and we walked onto the street. I didn't notice the direction she pulled me in, I was too wrapped up in staring at her hair, her face, every part of her. I needed her to be near me. She drew me to her like a drug. I noticed the change in lighting, and she pushed open a door in front of me. I stopped breathing immediately. I couldn't be trusted to be in such close proximity to humans. Not now when my resolve was so weak. I had promised myself I would only kill those who were going to hurt someone else.

She stared deep into my eyes and stroked my face. "Will you wait here for me?"

"Do I have a choice?" I asked, using up the precious reserves of air I had. How could I possibly deny her anything? I was terrified that she would leave or that I would hurt her. I was scared of staying with her, but petrified of being away from her.

"There's always a choice." She smiled at me, rooting me to the spot. "But I would like it if you waited here."

I nodded, I could speak without breathing and I couldn't risk that. Not now.

I watched Bella as she moved slowly around the bar. It was as if she was anticipating something. God I could watch her walk forever. The way her hips sashayed back and forth with each step reminded me of the way our bodies had moved together. The graceful arch of her back and the way it flowed smoothly up into her neck. The cascade of brown hair that flowed over her shoulders, curling gently at the ends. I wanted to race over and kiss her. To take her right there on the bar.

The hardest part was I wasn't the only one who noticed. Every man in the bar had his eyes on her at least once and I was assaulted with visions of her wrapped around so many different men it just about killed me. For the most part the fantasies were harmless enough. Infuriating but harmless. There was one pair though. It took every ounce of control I had to keep my promise to Bella and stay where she had left me.

The first time she passed them their thoughts reached my mind.

_I'd love to fuck the brains out of that chick_. The thoughts themselves would have been easy to ignore but the images he pictured were worse. Her saw Bella pressed up against an ally wall his hand twisted roughly in her hair. He pictured himself ripping through her blouse and forcing her to take him into her mouth. Smacking her face and throwing her onto the ground. Kicking her stomach until she vomited. Seeing her looking up at him, begging for him to let her go, lying on the ground bloodied and bleeding. Him feeling the power of being so merciful when he picked up a bottle to end her misery and stop her crying. I could tell he was remembering something he had done to another woman and putting Bella in her place. It didn't matter to me that I knew Bella wouldn't be susceptible to his attack, I still wanted to throw myself between them.

When Bella was far enough away from them he whispered to his mate the way he wanted to treat her. They had hunted women together before. Images of those other women filled both their minds. The second time Bella passed them the thoughts were refreshed, more violent. They both pictured the other holding her down while they took turns to use every precious hole on her body for their perverse desires. Of constricting her throat until her eyes went blank and her heart stopped beating. I didn't know if I could hold back much longer. Seeing their thoughts made me hate myself more for being the one who had hurt her. Who had forced her heart to beat its last. And that hatred at myself made me want to hurt them even more. To force my conscience to hurt a little for their death and to feel the pain I had inflicted on Bella.

The conflicting impulses that were running through my body were peculiar. I wanted to stay here as Bella had asked but at the same time it was hard enough to resist killing men when they had these sorts of thoughts about random women. But when it was my Bella!

Bella passed by their table a third time but now she shot them a shy smile. Then her eyes fell upon me for the briefest fraction of a second. She turned and walked out of the bar. The men's decisions had been made as soon as she smiled at them. They climbed out of their seats and followed her outside.

I knew her eyes contact before was a beckoning and I realised exactly what she had done. She had gone fishing, with herself as the bait. I didn't have to wait until I randomly happened across a similar scene where there was a risk I might slip and hurt an innocent girl if she were bleeding.

I slunk out from the bar behind the men. Walking almost silently, although I knew Bella would be able to hear my footfalls. She had her head ducked and was shooting nervous glances around. I recognised it as the pose she had taken up in Port Angeles. She turned down a darkened ally and appeared to quicken her pace. She was letting her would-be attackers think she was alone and vulnerable. That was what men like them craved, the vulnerability. It wasn't about the sex. Not really. It was about proving themselves all powerful over another person. I smiled when I thought about the shock they were about to be in for.

I waited at the end of the ally, hiding in the shadows and watching the scene play out in front of me. The men split and came up on either side of her. When they were halfway up the ally and far enough away from prying eyes they leapt on her. One of them grabbed her arms and pulled them behind her back. The other, the taller of the two, groped her through her shirt.

"Leave me alone." She warned, it was full of menace but with a hint of fear.

The taller of the men laughed, "Aw, c'mon sweetheart. We're just having some fun. You know you want this." He grabbed his crotch and thrust it at her. "You wanna see how hard I am?"

I waited, holding the wall to stop myself flying down the alley to her protection. The bricks I was clinging to were crumbling under my fingers.

The man made a fatal mistake. He pressed himself hard against her and pushed his face into her hair. I saw the glint of her teeth as his throat came within the range of her mouth. As soon as I knew she was attacking I threw myself at the other man. They didn't even have time to scream or cry out. They didn't even have time to feel pain, which was the biggest pity. I found myself getting aroused by her hunting style and when she threw the corpse of the man she had been drinking away she looked at me with unmistakable lust in her eyes.

We collided with each other with enough force it should have knocked us both over. Then she pushed me until I was pressed against the wall. She didn't even kiss me. She simply pulled down my pants and her knickers before lifting her skirt and wrapping her legs around my torso.

I twisted into the position of power and took her against the alley wall while the bodies of our victims stared with unseeing eyes.

I was wrong about her. I had thought of her as an angel. My angel. And she was, but she was my dark angel. My evil goddess. Exactly what I needed at this time.

_**A/N – So that was a bit of a darker chapter. And the next few probably will be too, although for a different reason (more depressing than violent). Bella is about to discover her talent. There is some (I think) major foreshadowing in this chapter. Can anyone guess what her talent might be?**_

_**Also this was kind of along the lines of what I envisaged as the dark happy ending for the pair. Becoming vengeful gods together and hunting the predators in the world. They would have been happy doing this for sometime too. To bad other things have to get in the way :)**_


	10. Genie

**Chapter 10: Genie**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

-Bella POV-

Edwards kept me pinned against the alley wall far longer than was strictly necessary, kissing me roughly over my face and neck for hours. Eventually responsibility caught up with him and he knew he had to dispose of the two corpses. He pulled back away from me, dressing himself quickly before glancing over at me again. He put his hands on either side of my head enclosing me against the wall.

"Please don't go anywhere," He pleaded his voice broken and soft. He kissed me softly on the corner of my mouth. "Don't leave me."

"I'll be here." I assured him.

I wasn't sure how long he would be gone but I knew he wouldn't be hurrying back. He had things to think through. I walked to the end of the alley and watched the city starting to come to life. I was standing in the shadows just in case but the day was dawning overcast anyway. I was thinking about my life since Edward crashed into it. And since Alice and Jasper were there to help me. As if on cue I heard the lilting voice of my saviour.

"Bella?" She whispered.

"Alice? What are you doing here?"

"I had a vision of last night. I wanted to see if you would back come home. Both of you. Then I had a vision of you saying yes and I didn't stop to think. I just ran out of the house to find you."

I thought about family and the comforts of living in the house. Not that I needed to be warm and comfortable but the other luxuries, like music. "Of course, Alice. I'll come with you."

She grabbed me around the neck, "Yay!" Then she took a step back, her face vague – she was staring into the future. "Oh my god!"

"What is it Alice?"

She shook her head, "I've got to go. I'm going to make things worse."

I laughed, "Nonsense. We'll talk to Edward. I'm sure he'll understand."

"No, please, Bella. I've got to go."

"If you have to, but Edward will be back very soon." I could tell she was debating whether to stay despite the vision. It was obvious that she missed Edward.

She gasped, "I'm sorry Bella. It's too late."

Now I clung to her, "Too late for what?"

"I...I can't stop it from happening no matter what I do. It doesn't matter if I stay or go."

"Can't stop what Alice? Stop talking in riddles."

She shook her head sadly and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I'm going to miss you so much."

I wanted to pull her closer and never let go, "What are you talking about? I told you I was coming home. Edward will understand, he'll come home too."

Her breathing hitched and she let loose a sob against my chest.

"It's alright, Alice."

I heard the noise of someone approaching at the other end of the alley and I could tell by footsteps it was Edward. I turned my head in his direction and smiled carefully. I didn't want to frighten him off if he saw Alice was here. Edward stood rooted to the spot staring like a deer in headlights. I pulled away from Alice but grabbed her hand, pulling her down towards Edward. I walked slower than a human, not wanting to startle him. I felt duel parts of myself warring with each other. The desire to go home and be safe, return to the Cullen's lifestyle and the desire to flee and keep running, hunting predators and getting them off the streets. The closer I got to Edward the stronger the conflict became.

Alice sobbed again.

"What is it Alice?" Edward said softly. The desire to go home was starting to win out over the other.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I...I shouldn't have come."

Edward let out a strangled cry. "No! Why?" I wanted to pull him into my arms and never let go. I dropped Alice's hand and walked over and put my arm around Edward's head. He dropped his forehead to my shoulder and put his hands on my hips for support.

"I don't know. I think it's her talent."

My mind whirled, they were talking about me. But what was my talent. I thought about everything that had happened to me so far, there was nothing I could do that was special. I couldn't see the future or read minds.

The duelling needs within me fought strongly against each other again. I tried to think about what I really wanted. What I needed. And that's when it happened. As if some switch had been flicked in my brain I could see the need Alice had for me and Edward to go home with her radiating around her like an aura. I also saw the need Edward had to wrap me in his arms and never let me go.

I had known when he needed to be comforted. Known when he needed to feed. I had known Alice's desire for me to understand why Edward had done what he did to me. The family's need for Edward to be happy and not be alone anymore. Edward's desire to stay away from his family. His need to pass his life into someone else's control, if only for brief times. I had even felt the need of those guys in the bar to do violence to me. I realised every feeling, every emotion, I had experienced since waking up was the result of someone else's needs, someone else's desire.

I could see Edward's need to be loved and comforted radiating out of him as we stood there. I stepped back away from him, shaking my head.

Was that my talent - to be a puppet for other people's whims?

"No." I whispered in answer to my own silent question. Alice and Edward both wheeled around to face me. "No!" I shouted.

Edward stepped out towards me, "Bella, please stay. I love you." It was the first time he had said it and earlier I might have rejoiced but at the moment it made me feel sick.

"Please." His need was growing in strength, I could see it shimmering around him, soaking into the alley walls. "Please stay, you love me too. You said so. Please...stay."

I shook my head and took another step back. I had to stay away from him. I couldn't let myself be tossed around from desire to desire.

"No." I whispered again looking at the ground. I raised my eyes and met his, "I don't know if I love you."

He broke and fell against Alice. I turned and ran.

*****

-Edward POV-

I knew something was wrong as soon as I got back to the alley. Bella was at the far end. She had her arms wrapped around someone, but I couldn't make out who it was from this angle. Bella turned her head in my direction and smiled slightly. She unwrapped herself from the other person and I saw immediately it was Alice. Why did she come? I hadn't decided to go home. Alice was the one person who usually granted me freedom when I needed to be alone – she could see the results if she didn't. I couldn't move. Bella pulled Alice by the hand and walked slowly towards me. Bella looked stoic and beautiful. Like a calm ocean. Alice however looked like she was ready to turn and flee. As they stepped closer I heard Alice sob and it broke my heart thinking I did that to her, to the family.

"What is it Alice?" I asked quietly. For a brief second I wanted to go home again, but I knew I couldn't. Not until I was ready to commit to their lifestyle again.

She looked me in the eyes, "I'm so sorry Edward. I...I shouldn't have come." Images filled my head of the visions she had. The one of Bella saying she would go home, the reason Alice came here. Then Bella looking frightened and angry before turning to me and telling me she didn't love me.

The cry was at my lips before I could stop it. "No! Why?"

Bella dropped Alice's hand and walked over to me. She wrapped her arm around my head. Alice is wrong, I thought to myself. I need Bella with me. I can't let her go, she is the only thing that has kept me sane the past 24 hours. And the only thing I have thought of since I first met her.

I dropped my head onto Bella's shoulder, inhaling her scent to try to get some comfort. I put my hands on her waist to steady myself.

"I don't know. I think it's her talent." Alice whispered. _I think she's a genie. A wish-fulfiller. Think about it, she has anticipated every one of your needs since walking into your life - hasn't she._

I nodded. I had thought it was because she loved me. That's what she told me. I thought maybe we were connected on some level. As much as I always thought she would run, part of me knew she wouldn't. I knew she was going to be my constant in this world.

_It took two of us with battling desires for her to realise. I'm sorry this is all my fault._

"No," Bella whispered. I thought for a second she was fulfilling Alice's need to be comforted but when I looked at her I knew I was wrong. Storms were raging on the once calm ocean of her eyes. "No!" She shouted.

I took a step towards her. I wanted her to stay. I needed it. She had to know that. "Bella, please stay. I love you."

She stared at me with conflicted eyes. I couldn't stand it if she left me now. I needed her so badly.

"Please." I begged her. "Please stay, you love me too. You said so. Please...stay."

She shook her head and took another step away from me. I saw her face pass from confusion to anger.

"No." She whispered. Then she met my eye, "I don't know if I love you."

I felt my heart shatter. My soul. My entire being broken into a thousand pieces.

If she had screamed at me yesterday, told me she hated me for doing what I did to her it couldn't have hurt nearly as much as this did. After a perfect day, after giving me everything I needed she was snatching it cruelly away. But I couldn't hate her for it. I wanted her to have what she wanted. What she needed. I didn't want her to love me if it wasn't what she wanted.

I didn't have control over myself anymore. My mind had retreated far within to hide from the pain, but it didn't work. I couldn't even hear the thoughts of those around me. I was alone with my pain.

I finally felt some feeling return to my body, my mind started to open and I could hear thoughts again. But I could only concentrate on one voice. Alice was silently running a mantra through her head that Bella just needed time to figure it out and she would be back. But although I could hear the sincerity in her desire for that to be true I could also tell it wasn't based on a vision or any evidence. It was just what we both wanted. Alice gently stroked my hair to go along with her silent thoughts. I realised I was curled in the foetal position on the alley floor my head in Alice's lap.

I felt venom running down my cheeks and my eyes were watery. I couldn't understand the sensation. Alice curled down and kissed my forehead.

_Welcome back_.

I squeezed my eyes shut to try to block out the pain that I felt.

"She left me." I said involuntarily.

"Shh." Alice said and started stroking my hair again.

_I'm taking you home. _There was no question in her thoughts. _You need to be near us now._

I started to shake my head. I couldn't go home with crimson eyes and a broken heart.

_If Bella comes back she will go to our house. If you are running around the country she won't be able to find you._

I knew she was right. It was what broke my resolve. I would wait anywhere if it meant even another second in Bella's presence.

"Jasper will be here soon."

I nodded, I could see her vision of him arriving. The sun was a little lower in the sky than it was now, so we would still have a couple of hours. The sun had just been dawning when my world ended. It was just after noon now. Alice had us drawn back into the shadows of some crates so we wouldn't be exposed to the sun.

"Thank you." I whispered to her. "For being here."

_I shouldn't have come, you could have been happy for longer._

I shook my head. As much as I was hurting right now I was glad Alice had come, I was glad Bella could escape my need for her if it was the only thing tying her to me.

"I want her to get what _she_ needs."

_Is it too much to ask of the world to allow you to be happy?_

I nodded, "It is. I don't deserve it – not after what I did to her."

_But she loves you. I know she does._

"How can you know that?"

_Woman's intuition_

"But you wanted her to forgive me?"

I felt Alice nod.

"And then after she did so easily part of you wanted her to be with me?"

She nodded again and sobbed when she realised what I was saying. _You think I influenced her_.

I didn't want Alice to feel guilty, it was everyone's fault. "At first, but then everyone else would have wanted the same thing. I wanted the same thing."

_With her talent how did she stand a chance of not loving you in that environment? Especially when she didn't know how it worked._

"Exactly." And how could she have loved me without it, I thought.

_She must be so confused at the moment._

"I wouldn't know." I said darkly, now more than ever I wished she wasn't so silent to me. Maybe that way I would have known it was just my own desires being reflected back on me. That way I wouldn't have allowed hope to sneak into my heart. I knew it was hope that had finished me off.

Alice and I sat in silence while we waited for Jasper but I couldn't avoid her thoughts. She was spending the seconds analysing every conversation she and Bella shared. I would have asked her to stop but I was enjoying the sight of Bella smiling and interacting with my family far too much. They had all accepted her so easily. As had I. But now she was gone and I had to go home alone.


	11. Snow Holiday

**Chapter 11: Snow Holiday**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

-Edward POV-

In the month since arriving home I have done nothing.

After Jasper picked Alice and I up we drove home in silence. I could hear in Jasper's thoughts how much he was suffering from my mood. I was suffering from heartbreak worse than any he had ever felt. Alice's pain and guilt added to his burden and it was so bad he couldn't even attempt to manipulate our mood.

Hearing my own emotions in Jasper's mind served to make me sadder. It reminded me again that I hadn't known Bella's thoughts and maybe if I had I would have known that it wasn't her that was in love with me. It was me needing her to love me. I wouldn't have hoped.

When we arrived back at the house everyone hugged me and told me how much they missed me. No-one commented on my crimson eyes. No one mentioned Bella. Not out loud. But all I could hear from a few miles out of the house was their concern for me and for her. Alice had explained what happened to Jasper before he left to pick us up. Jasper had explained to everyone else. They knew I was shattered and Bella was gone. I remained stoic through the greeting but didn't utter one word.

After everyone had said hello I pushed past them and walked to my room. I opened the door, stepped inside, pulled the door shut behind me and leaned against it breathing deep. I sat with my back against the door for five days straight without moving. I didn't want to touch a thing. Bella's smell was on every surface in the room and I didn't want to disturb it. So I sat in silence staring at everything that used to belong to me. It didn't anymore. Everything in this room. Everything I am, belongs to Bella now. Even though she doesn't want it.

I blocked out the thoughts of my family, until they turned towards Bella. Whenever anyone thought of her, I greedily turned my attention to them taking in every detail about their memory of her, their thoughts.

On the sixth day since being home Bella's scent was starting to fade. I could no longer smell it from my position so I moved. I turned on the stereo, cranking it up as loudly as I dared. I turned it onto repeat. I wanted to listen to whatever Bella had been listening to when she was last here. I didn't actually listen to the music. I didn't care what it was. I just wanted a connection to Bella. I knew it wasn't healthy. I knew my family were worried about it.

I moved onto the couch, curling up into a ball on it. I could smell Bella again from here, but I knew it would only be a matter of time before her scent faded.

And that's where I stayed for the next three weeks. Occasionally I would hear the door open but I would never acknowledge my visitors. I never even shifted my eyes in the direction of the door. I just stared at the wall. The CD had been played so much it was skipping constantly, but I couldn't care enough about it to make myself move.

I was so thirsty my throat burned. It was a constant ache. But I welcomed the pain. At least it was a feeling. It was something that I could use to prove to myself that Bella hadn't killed me when she left.

I heard the door open again. I ignored it like usual. Except this time I saw Alice filter into my periphery. I felt my eyes flick involuntarily to her and she seemed to take this as permission to stay. She knelt near my face and stoked my hair. "Edward, you need to hunt."

I shook my head.

"I don't know what Bella is doing," she said. I knew she was lying, she had regular visions of Bella surrounded by snow. I knew that because I treasured these visions. Seeing Bella walking in a field of white, brilliant rainbows reflecting from every inch of exposed skin over the snow and back again. She probably knew I knew she was lying but she was trying to make me feel better. "But wherever she is, she wouldn't want you to do this to yourself over her."

I shrugged. I couldn't see how Bella would care one way or the other and the pain of that cut through my being.

Alice clenched her fist in my hair and rested her head on top of it. "Please, Edward," She begged. "This is killing us all."

I didn't want to hurt my family. But I couldn't move. Bella's scent was so faint in this room now I had to concentrate to find it. If I left now I might not be able to find it again. It was my last remaining link to her.

No it wasn't. There was one other place where she had stamped her presence. Where we both had. Alice stood back, she had seen that I was about to move. I was out the window almost before I finished the thought. I ran straight towards the stream. As I was running I was assaulted by a scent which made the burn in my throat rip through me. I didn't know if it was human or animal. At the moment I was beyond thirsty and it wouldn't matter. It would be hot and wet and it would douse at least some of the flame.

I found the source of the scent in a tree close to where I first picked it up. I took down the lion down in one leap, and I drained it while I ran. I couldn't stop. Not when I had my destination so firm in my mind. I dropped the lion once I felt its heart stop beating.

Once I reached the stream I knew I had made a terrible mistake. This wasn't the place where I experienced heaven. I had done such an efficient job ripping out the roses that day no trace was left of them except a few decaying vines. This place held no beauty any more. This place held no love.

I threw myself onto the ground pressing my fingers into the dirt and gripping it tight. My hands compressed the dirt into tight balls of clay. I dropped them and started the process again. Then I pressed my face into the grass and curled my knees up underneath me. I screamed at the ground and pounded my fists into the earth. Pouring all of my anger and sorrow into the ground. Punishing it for not staying exactly how it was. Bella's presence should have been stamped so completely over this place. It should not be allowed to change. Ever.

I sobbed for hours before rolling onto my back and clawing my face. It was then that I noticed Alice standing a distance away, watching me with concern in her eyes. Once she saw that I realised she was there she closed some of the distance between us.

"Feeling better?" She asked.

Was I? I didn't really think so. I shook my head. "I don't know if I ever will."

I saw and heard the relief that flooded through her mind. Six little words seemed to have confirmed to her that although I might never be truly all right again I would at least be able to function. She took a few more steps closer, still worried about making a move that might send me running. "I don't want you to leave again, Edward."

I nodded, "I know."

"None of them do. They love you Edward. They want you to stay with us. But they do understand."

I nodded, "I know."

She closed the last of the distance between us and knelt next to me, staring into my face. "I know you won't be happy again, but please stay."

I nodded.

She stood and held out a hand to me, helping me from the ground. We walked back to the house at human speed. Her thoughts whirled as visions of the future settled as my decision to stay at home was firmed.

We entered the house through the back door. Alice gently rubbed my back to let me know she was there for me. I walked into the living room, shooting something that was as close to a smile as my face could manage at the rest of my family. Then I stalked over and sat on the couch. Everyone gave me a gentle pat on the shoulder before going back to their own tasks.

I couldn't promise I would be happy, I couldn't promise anything more than to be present. But I would stay. I was ready now.

*****

-Bella POV-

I hurtled myself forward from forest to forest always heading north. I swam through deep freezing lakes and streams. I ran. I ran for a week without stopping. I didn't know where I was going I just knew I need to go. I needed to get away from people. I couldn't allow myself to be subjected to the petty whims of other people.

I knew I was no longer in the US. It was getting colder, not that the temperature affected me but it meant I was getting into the more remote areas of the world. That was good. Here I could be my own person. I could work out what _I_ wanted.

When I finally stopped running I was surrounded by white. There were no people or buildings or roads around for miles and miles. I walked openly in the daylight. The sun wasn't as bright here but the snow bounced it around so it would have been blinding if I was human it made my skin shimmer and I liked the sight. Now I knew I was alone I laid down on the snow.

The silence here was almost deafening in its absoluteness. I knew I had found the place I needed to be right now. I closed my eyes and allowed _my_ desires to come to the surface. But all I could think of was Edward. I knew he needed to be loved, so I had loved him. But I was away from him now. I didn't need to feel that way anymore. I knew the only reason I did was because I had allowed myself to believe it so completely. I hadn't known about this ridiculous talent.

But what exactly was my talent? Alice seemed to know something about it but I couldn't go back there. Her desire for me to stay would make it hard to leave. I knew how much she wished for Edward and I to be together and with the family. I felt peoples desires. I could see them. Part of me felt compelled to fulfil those desires. Those wishes.

_Be careful what you wish for._

The thought came to me randomly. If I could detect peoples wishes, that didn't mean I had to follow them. Now that I knew what I could do I could use it to help people...or hurt them. After all I had used the desires of those men in the bar to punish them, I just hadn't known it at the time.

Being alone with my thoughts wasn't helping me so I silenced them. I turned off every thought, every process and just existed. I lay there for three weeks with random thoughts popping up and each time I shut them down just as quickly. I couldn't understand why most of these thoughts were of Edward. Eventually I started to get a little thirsty, it was an uncomfortable fire in the back of my throat. I needed to move soon, to feed.

I stood and shook the snow that covered me off. I would hunt. I ran for miles, there was a smell nearby, not quite as appetising as humans but it would do to quench the thirst. I found a wolf pack and threw myself at them. I downed and drained two of them and let the others go.

I realised being alone wasn't helping me. I still didn't know what I wanted. I was still overtaken with feelings of what Edward wanted and what Alice wanted. To go to their house, to live with them. As a Cullen. As Edward's mate. But why did their needs hold such sway over me after three weeks by myself. I just couldn't understand it. I ran back south, back towards civilisation. After a few days of running I found myself in Anchorage in Alaska. It was day when I hit the town but the sun was covered by thick clouds so there wasn't any major risk of being detected.

I walked down the streets and started to panic. I had nothing. No change of clothes, no money, no ID. How could I function in the human world without these basics. I didn't even know where to go to get these basics. I couldn't even rent a room. I sat down on a park bench in a covered BBQ area. I put my head on my arms and cursed myself for being so stupid and coming back. I should have stayed up in my snow covered wonderland where it was so quiet I could hear every thought.

After a few hours I got the feeling of eyes staring at me. A few minutes later and someone patted me gently on the back.

"Bella?" A soft voice asked. The tones and infliction revealed that it was another vampire. I turned around, startled, because I didn't recognise the voice and yet they knew my name.

The vampire who stood before me was tall and statuesque. Her strawberry-blonde hair was set in a gorgeous mass of curls. But the thing that stood out to me immediately were her eyes. They were golden-brown. Like the Cullen's. She smiled warmly at me, "I'm Tanya."

I sat staring at her. I couldn't understand where she had come from or who she was. Or even whether she was a threat. Although if she was a threat she had the perfect opportunity to attack while I was distracted.

"Alice called me after she got a vision of you here. She thought you might need to talk."

"You know Alice?"

"The Cullens are like...family to us I guess you could say. They are the only other ones of our kind who share our lifestyle choice." She laughed, "Well parts of it anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"They're vegetarians too. But my sisters and I live a bit more wildly then they do." She paused, I could sense her need to help out Alice, she wanted to do it right. "See they're all paired up...for the most part," She avoided my eye when saying that. I knew who she was talking about. "My sisters and I...aren't. We enjoy the company of men. Many men." She raised her eyebrow at me.

I nodded, I understood what she was saying.

"Did you want to come back to our place, it's in Denali - a little way from here, we can talk more. If nothing else we might be able to give you clothes and some money until you can get yourself back on your feet."

What happened next was strange. I could see her need for me to accept. I could feel it with every part of me but I didn't have the urge to follow it that I did when I was with Edward or Alice. I could just as easily say no to Tanya as say yes. It must be because I know about my talent now.

"There is someone there who might be able to help you with your talent." She said in an urge to sway me. She must have felt my confusion but she'd misinterpreted it. I was happy to go with her, as she said at very least I could get some more clothes. I was just confused why I didn't feel compelled to go with her like I had before.

"It's alright, I want to come."

Tanya beamed at me. "That's great."

She led me to a car that was waiting at the edge of the park. She pulled open the back door and waited for me to climb in. She went around the other side. There were already two people in the car. Tanya turned to me once she was in the seat, "Bella. This is Irina and Kate."

They both smiled broadly and uttered hellos. I couldn't help but feel comfortable, which was strange considering I was in a car with three strange vampires who were driving me god knows where. But they were also a link to the Cullens.


	12. Qareen

**Chapter 12****: Qareen**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

-EPOV-

Two days have passed since the vision. Alice's vision of my lovely Bella. No, I couldn't think like that - she wasn't my Bella at all. She was just Bella. Beautiful, mysterious, wonderful Bella. She finally moved from her snow covered reverie and ran back to humanity. Alice saw her in Alaska and contacted our friends in Denali to give them the details of when and where Bella would be to see if they could seek her out. I _almost_ smiled when I saw her accepting Tanya's invitation in another vision. I could tell by Alice's thoughts this vision was due to happen in two days. Since then I have concentrated on nothing else but listening to Alice's thoughts. Alice knows I'm doing it and she doesn't like it but if it gets me another sight of Bella, I don't care what Alice thinks.

Besides, Alice owes me. She has made my life a nightmare since the day I agreed to return to the family - the same day she had her vision. It isn't that she has done anything to me specifically but she is on constant alert for my smallest move. Whenever I start to think about running to Denali, to Bella, someone appears at my side, usually Jasper or Emmett, and Alice is mentally screaming at me to leave Bella alone. Let her be happy. But Bella doesn't look happy to me. Every time I see her through Alice's visions she looks troubled - not on the surface but deep within her eyes. And that makes me more anxious to meet her. But then Alice's visions start and I see myself fighting my family to escape and my shame takes me and crumbles my desire to run.

Alice owes me - the least she can do is share her visions of Bella.

-BPOV-

Tanya, Irina and Kate chatted animatedly the whole trip back to their place. They told me about Carmen and Eleazar, two vampires who had joined their coven and taken over the role of 'parents' they way Esme and Carlisle had for the Cullens. Eleazar is the one Tanya wanted to introduce me to, so he could help me understand my talent. He was talented himself, he could detect talents.

Apparently he used to live with an old and powerful coven called the Volturi and he honed his skills while there. He was so adept at it he could even pick up strong latent talents in humans. Kate explained that our gifts were bought forward and amplified from our human life. Kate jokingly wondered how her talent had manifested itself when she was human - because she could jolt people with electricity. It was strong enough to floor even a vampire.

During their discussion I thought about my life before Edward changed me. I understood what they meant by latent talent, after all hadn't I always put other people's needs far above my own? Wasn't that the reason I ended up in Forks living with Charlie? To let Renee have her happiness with Phil - what _she _wanted. I was looking forward to meeting Eleazar, hopefully he could help me sort through some of this mess in my head. Teach me how to forget what Alice and Edward want so that I can know what _I _want.

I was glad that during the trip that of the sisters mentioned the names I didn't want to hear. Other than telling me about the phone call from Alice they hadn't mentioned the Cullen's at all. They seemed almost worried about spooking me.

Their house was almost as big as the white house of the Cullen's but much more modern. The front was angular and the roof slanted. I could tell one whole side of the roof was covered in solar panels.

When she saw my eye glancing over it Kate said, "We like to live off-grid. Less questions that way. We tend to stay in one place much longer than...others." She smiled apologetically at her almost slip-up. We both knew she was going to say than the Cullen's.

They pulled the car into the garage with a selection of six other cars. I had no idea what they were. My automotive knowledge was incredibly limited. Tanya noticed me staring, "You like them?"

I shrugged, all the cars were shiny and new and looked pretty enough. "I guess. I'm not really into cars though."

They all laughed, "That'll change. It's easier to get into cars when you have a photographic memory and can remember all the names."

I saw a small hot pink convertible at the end of the row. I smiled at Irina, "I like this one."

"That's an MG. They're a good little car. I'll show you were the keys are."

"No, that's alright. You've already offered me too much."

"Nonsense, as long as you are in this house you can use any of these cars. It's not like you would crash them."

The others laughed at the idea but I couldn't help chuckle nervously. I knew most of these cars were probably worth more than Charlie's house.

Once we were inside the house Kate took over the role of host. She took me into the living room which took up one third of the house. This was the side that matched the slanted roof. The middle of this room was the height of both stories of the house but the ceiling slanted away towards the far wall and finished about 9 ft high. Glass balconies ran along the length of the other floor, overlooking the space. It made the house feel like a museum. Along the shorter wall was a massive plasma screen. I had never seen one so big. It had to be easily 6 ft tall and 11 ft wide. A white couch that could have easily fit fifteen people stretched out in a u-shape around the TV. In the middle was an all-glass coffee table that was so clean and clear that, if it were not for my perfect vampire vision, would have looked like the few magazines and remotes on it were floating.

Kate led me upstairs and into the room at the end of the hall. It was massive room, at least three times the size of my one at Charlie's. It was decorated simply and tastefully. The walls were a crisp white colour, except for the far wall which was designed as a feature and was a dull lime green. A large canvas, covered in splashes of various shades of greens and purples, adorned the wall and the contrast in colours was striking rather than garish. Underneath the artwork was a low slung king-size bed, with a simple white base and no bed head. I wasn't game to ask what they needed a bed for when no-one in the house slept. As well as the subtle down-lights in the ceiling there were two sleek silver lights that hung on either side of the bed, low enough that they did little more than illuminate the white bedside tables that sat directly below them.

The wall opposite the door was mostly window and the forest outside was so close I could have leaned out and touched it. The wall opposite the bed had two doors which stood open. One housed a giant walk-in wardrobe that was probably the same size as my bedroom when I lived with Charlie. Behind the other door was a private bathroom. I fell in love with the room immediately. The white reminded me of the snow I had laid in for so long and the green of the forest and the cover and comfort it provided. But by far the best part about the room was it wasn't already occupied. It was classy and empty, like a room in a display house, waiting for some small touches of personality. It wasn't a hand-me down where I had to live amongst someone else memories.

Kate told me I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted. She looked me over, measuring me with her eyes and left me alone. An hour later she brought in the first of many piles of clothes she had gathered.

After she had finished and the bed was piled with enough clothes to fill a store she looked at me, "I've found all the ones that look like they should fit you. You sort through them and pick out any you like, I'll give whatever is left to charity."

"Are you kidding?"

"They're all spares. They've never been worn and probably never will. We just like to shop." She laughed.

I nodded, overwhelmed by how much she had given me. And I didn't just mean the clothes or the offer to use their cars. They hadn't said it specifically but it was obvious they were offering me a chance to live with them if I chose.

"I'll let you get settled. Let me know if you need anything. See you downstairs when you're ready."

I pulled the door shut and found some jeans and a shirt that would fit from the pile of clothing. I would sort through the rest later. Right now I wanted to have a shower.

*****

After I had showered and dressed I spent some time going through the clothes. Living in a skirt for the last month showed me they weren't as horrible as I'd always assumed, especially when you didn't have to worry about warmth, so I selected a few of those but refused to keep too many of the silky evening gowns in the pile. I kept two - just in case, one a deep red and the other royal blue. I piled all my selections into the closet and put the rest into a box that Kate had brought up for me. Even though I had been pretty frugal with my selections I could probably go a month without washing any of my clothes. But then I figured if these girls like to shop so much, perhaps they don't wash their clothes. Perhaps they are wear and recycle. I left the box on the bed and headed downstairs.

Everyone was gathered on the couch. Kate, Tanya and Irina all lounged reading magazines, looking every bit like typical teenage girls. Well, typical teenage girls if they all had stellar looks and knock-out bodies. Two other vampires sat in the middle of the couch, I knew at once they must be Carmen and Eleazar.

"Bella! How are you settling in?" Irina said.

"Good. Everything is just so..." I sighed, "Too much."

Everyone laughed.

"It's amazing how much stuff you can amass when you have forever to do it," Eleazar stood to walk over to me, "It's lovely to meet you, the girls have told me so much about you."

I shot them a glare but they were all looking in other directions.

"I'm Eleazar, and this is Carmen."

"Lovely to meet you Eleazar, Carmen." They each walked forward and gave me a quick embrace when I greeted them.

"Welcome, Bella." Carmen's voice was thick with an italian accent and went she said my name she rolled her l's, I smiled in response.

"Now, the girls tell me you want to learn more about your talent?"

I nodded, "Yes, sir."

"Please, no sir, call me Eleazar or Eli. You're family now - even if you don't stay."

"Thank you. For everything. I was feeling very lost before Tanya found me."

He nodded. "Do you mind if I talk about your talent in front of everyone or would you rather go somewhere private."

"I don't mind." I had nothing to hide, and they had all been nothing but friendly towards me.

"Well, gifts are usually grouped into classes, there are five broad categories which are extensions of what humans would term 'magic'. There are empaths, psychics, telepaths, shields and then there are genies." He indicated me. "Some talents can cross into a few categories and most of them can be used either offensively or defensively depending on exactly how they manifest and the situation.

"For example I can think of two mind-readers, one is able to see every thought that has ever passed through the mind but needs physical contact to do it, the other is able to read the thought of everyone within a few mile radius but only what is in their mind at that precise moment."

I realised immediately the second person he was referring to was Edward, it was exactly how he'd described his talent in his journals.

"So I'm a _genie_?" I would have laughed at the name and the images it conjured if I wasn't so concerned with finding out more information.

"Yes, for lack of a better term. The legend is that genies were created from fire, the way humans were created from dirt. Can you guess where that legend came from?"

I nodded, I remembered the fire in my veins all too well. "But all vampires are born with the fire."

He chuckled, pleased that I had understood straight away, "Yes. However, genies can become invisible to humans. Human desires are not as clear to them but can often genies can understand enough to taunt humans with the desires that they can see as a means of hunting. Sometimes there is a special draw between a genie and a human. I would say in one of these cases the genie told the human of the pain of the transformation. Thus the legend was born. "

"So in short being a genie means?"

"That you can see or sense the desires of other things. Most strongly other vampires."

"And be compelled to follow them?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, when I was with... Alice," I forced the name out, "before I knew what I could do. I wanted what she wanted. I wanted to stay with the Cullens. And then when I was with...," I couldn't force the name out this time, "well, I reacted on instinct to his every need."

"I've never heard of that happening. Genies are creatures of free will, allowing them to follow any desires they choose. "

I shrugged, "Well you did say that it manifests different each time."

He seemed thoughtful for a while, "Maybe. Or maybe you're his Qareen."

"What?"

He smiled, "There is a lot of lore surrounding genies if you know where to look. There is one legend in particular that speaks of Qareen. Genies assigned to particular people. A Qareen is able whisper into that person's soul and tell them to give in to their desires. Qareen are very strongly bonded in this way."

I gasped, "Like a singer?"

He tilted his head towards me, "What do you mean? Where have you heard that saying?"

"Alice said it to me. It's...it's why Edward..."

Carmen had a look of shock on her face, "Your blood sang for Edward?"

I nodded.

Eleazar whispered, "And now you are his Qareen."

"I don't understand what this means," I confessed.

Eleazar and Carmen exchanged looks with each other. Tanya came up to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, "I think we need to go hunting."

I started to shake my head, but then I could see how badly Carmen and Eleazar wanted some time alone to discuss this, and how much Tanya wanted to help me, and I complied. We went out the front door and disappeared into the forest that ran next to my window.

While we were running I turned to Tanya, "They'll explain more when I get back, won't they?"

"I don't think they will deliberately hide anything from you that you want to know. But are you sure you want to know everything?"

I thought about that and the answer was I really didn't know if I did. Sometimes ignorance was bliss.

*****

Tanya and I hunted close to the house for an hour before heading back inside. It would have been long enough for everyone else to discuss whatever they needed to.

Eleazar wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me to the couch. "Sit down."

He sighed, "Why did you run from the Cullens?"

I stiffened, I didn't expect him to be that blunt in his questioning. "Um, well I felt Alice's desire and Edward's desire battling within me. Then Alice told Edward that I had a talent and it kind of, I don't know, switched itself on or I became aware of it or something." I stopped and looked at my hands, this was the easy part of the story. The next part was harder.

He nodded, "Go on."

"Well, then I kind of realised that everything I felt... I _thought_ I felt for Edward was _his_ need. He was forcing me to feel things for him – not intentionally but I couldn't trust how I felt. I needed to get on my own to sort it out."

"And how did that work out?"

"Not good. I couldn't stop feeling his desires."

He put his hand on my knee, "Bella. I'm going to tell you something and it might be hard to hear. If you need to you can lock yourself up in your room and not come down until you are ready, but I would prefer it if you stayed with us then run into the wilderness again. I won't force you of course but know that the offer of a permanent room is there."

I nodded, "What is it?"

"I called Alice and spoke with her about what we think has happened. Everything she told us seems to confirm our theory."

"Which is?"

"We think you have it backwards."

"What do you mean?"

"Edward's desires weren't forcing you to do anything. It was the other way around. If you are his Qareen _you_ spoke to _his_ soul, you convinced him of your desires. You fed him your needs and wants."

I shook my head slowly, this didn't make sense. Except maybe I was wrong about why I fell in love with him in the first place, maybe it wasn't because Alice wanted me to be understanding. I thought back into my dim human memories and recognised that there was something compelling about the black eyes that had bored into my soul before he bit me. Had I loved him even then?

"We think it is why you are so silent to him."

"What?" I shot my head up, that was new – what did Eleazar mean by silent?

"He can't hear your thoughts. Surely you knew that?"

"No."

"We think it is because your thoughts speak to his soul and he's used to listening with his head. It's why your blood sang for him and why he stopped when it would have been impossible. You called to his soul the entire time you have known him."

The horror of what he was saying caught up to me. I thought I was being used and chucked around from whim to whim but I was the one who had used Edward. If this was true I had made him love me bit by bit. And then I had broken his heart. I didn't say anything more just stood and walked agonisingly slowly towards the stairs. I couldn't run. I couldn't think. What sort of cruel harpy was I? I let my legs fall one in front of the other until I was in my room. Then I sat on the end of the bed and dropped my head into my hands.

"Edward, I'm so sorry." I whispered into the empty room.

**A/N – In case you are wondering Qareen are a type of Jjin. I have modified the legend slightly – in the original every person is assigned with a Qareen who whispers into the soul of the person to convince them to give into their desires. **

**I hope you are enjoying the story so far. I am definitely enjoying the love from the reviews & favourites etc. I hope it continues to live up to what you want. **


	13. Getting out

**Chapter 13****: Getting out**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

-EPOV-

Alice had a vision of receiving a phone call from our friend in Denali. It was going to happen any minute, it was a snap decision they made, I still don't know what caused it but Bella wasn't in the room with them when they call. Alice didn't want me to overhear so she grabbed her cell phone and fled from the house.

It was the freedom I'd been craving. Alice wouldn't be able to warn anyone I was about to go. I knew Jasper was stationed outside my window and Emmett by the front door, but that doesn't mean I couldn't escape. Without Alice to warn them of my shifting plans they wouldn't see what I was about to do. The simple fact was I knew where Bella was and I needed to see her with my own eyes again. I didn't care if she sent me away, well that's not entirely true I care a lot, but it would be worth the heartache to see her again. And I had a plan to try to get her back. It was probably stupid but I knew I would live in regret for the rest of my existence if I didn't at least try.

Within a minute of Alice leaving the house I had gathered everything I needed. I ran into Carlisle and Esme's room. Usually I would hate myself for this utter lack of respect of their privacy but right now I didn't care. I scaled out of their window and onto the roof. This window was the only one which neither Jasper and Emmett could see from their current vantage points. Once I was on the roof I lay flat against it and listened to Emmett and Jasper's thoughts. Jasper was watching out intently for Alice's return so his would be the easier side to sneak around. I crawled along to that side of the roof. I stealthily climbed over as close to the garage as I could get. I had come as far as I could go without just risking it and running. I was getting ready to jump and run. Then I caught Rosalie's thoughts and just about fell off the roof. She was waiting for me in the garage, but not for the reason I thought. She wasn't trying to stop me. I threw myself across the gap between the house and the garage and landed soundlessly, opening the door as quietly as I could, listening intently to Jasper and Emmett for any indication they knew I was this close to freedom.

Rosalie stood in front of me with a smirk on her face and the keys to my Vanquish dangling from her finger. I only had the keys to my Volvo.

_Take this one. It'll be faster. And wear what I left on the back seat. You'll be impossible to resist._

"But why?" I breathed. I couldn't understand that of all people _Rosalie_ was being my ally on this.

She smiled shrewdly, _Why am I helping you?_

I nodded.

_You screwed that poor girl's life up and stole her humanity. Don't take her happiness as well._

"But she ran from me."

Rosalie shook her head as if I was missing something obvious. _Look, I know Alice keeps stopping you. I think it's because she can't see a positive outcome._

I felt my resolve waiver.

_But, I think that is because she is being blinded by her vision in this case. She can't see any outcome because neither you nor Bella will know your decision until you _talk_._

I shot her a quick smile. "Thanks Rosie."

"Don't mention it, just don't screw it up."

I heard her planning how best to distract Emmett for long enough for me to make my break. I tuned her out after it started to get a little bit too distracting. Especially when I couldn't help picturing Bella and I in the same positions.

I didn't even look in the backseat as I climbed into the Vanquish. For all I knew Rosalie was actually trying to make me look like a fool and had put a clown suit there. But she seemed genuine in her thoughts and words. I threw the car into reverse at the same time I pressed the button for the garage door. I accelerated down the drive faster than I ever had before. I wasn't breaking my promise. Not technically. I wasn't leaving my family – I had every intention of coming back but I needed to go.

I drove like a bat out of hell, even more than usual. What should have been a 48 hour drive I managed in just under 20.

I knew this area well, having spent some time here before moving to Forks. So I parked my car at the entrance to the forest. I ran until the house was in sight but stopped before she would be able to see me. If only I knew where she was in the house. I scanned the minds I could read. For the most part their thoughts were on Bella. They were worried about her because of some information they had discussed yesterday.

I couldn't understand how it had upset her more than finding out about her gift. About what I did with that gift. Forcing her to love me, never giving her a chance to work out for herself what she wanted. And here I was, trying to force myself back into her life again. I didn't know if I could do it. Indecision rocked me. It was as if a small voice was calling to me but I couldn't understand the words. My body warred between going back to the car and going home and pressing forward to see Bella.

I heard the front door open. If my heart hadn't already been silent it would have stopped. Surely I wouldn't be lucky enough to have Bella walk right out in front of me?

I was right. I wasn't that lucky. As soon as the person walked into view I knew it was Tanya. Her strawberry-blonde curls lifted and twisted with the wind. She walked as if she had no purpose but I could see her eyes scanning the forest sharply. I took a step back, I didn't want to be seen. But it was too late. I saw her eyes narrow for a fraction of a second in my direction and she shifted the direction of her walk.

I took another step back but Tanya shook her head lightly, to anyone else it might have looked like she was shaking hair of her face but I heard her thoughts too.

_Don't even think about it Edward. I know you're there. We need to talk._

I turned my head back in the direction of my car. I knew I could beat her there, but by how much? Would it be enough time to get the car open and started?

_Please, can we talk?_

I sighed and nodded to her.

She continued to walk as if there was nowhere she needed to be, just a stroll through the forest. Obviously she didn't want to alert anyone in the house to my presence. Or maybe it was just one someone she didn't want to alert.

She walked past the spot I was standing and lead me a little further into the forest. Once she stopped I turned to her. "How did you know I was here?"

"Eleazar. He said either one of us developed a new power magically or there was a mind-reader nearby. It wasn't hard to work out who it would be considering who is here. Besides Alice warned us it was going to happen yesterday."

Of course, Alice would have got her vision while she was on the phone to them, because that was when I made up my mind to leave.

_I think you need to know what Bella found out yesterday._

"Please."

Tanya ran through the events in her head, Bella learning more about her gift. Bella finding out about being _my_ Qareen? Whatever that was.

"What does that mean?" I asked her.

"If the legends are true, it means you are linked. She can communicate to your soul, implant desires there. You never had a choice."

"But I..."

"You thought, like she did, that it was what you wanted that made her come to you?"

I nodded, "It made sense. I didn't realise how lonely I was until I meant Bella. Now she fills my every thought."

"And you don't care that you didn't get to choose to feel this way?"

I thought about that, did I care? I thought back to that perfect day among the roses.

"No."

Tanya smiled, "I can see she affects you in ways I never could."

"I'm sorry that I couldn't..."

She waved her hand, "Ancient history, I've found other men since then." She smiled wickedly at me. I didn't want to ask how many other men. And I _really_ didn't need the mental pictures of them all.

"So now the question remains, what do you do about it without frightening her off? She's a bit of a possum at the moment, easily spooked."

"I have a plan." I said smiling a genuine smile for the first time since Bella left me.

*****

-BPOV-

I hadn't left my room since yesterday. When Eleazar told me I could lock myself in my room and not come down if that was what I needed I had thought he was joking but it really wasn't far off what I felt like doing. Almost a day had passed since finding out the information but I was still no further along sorting it all out in my head.

There was a soft knock on the door. Did I want to answer it? Not really, but everyone here has given me so much, it was only polite to find out what they wanted. I stood and flicked the door open. Tanya stood beaming at me widely and her sisters stood behind her.

"What's up?" I asked before turning and heading back to my bed.

"We're going out." Tanya enthused.

"Ok, well I'll see you later then." I didn't see that they had to go out of their way to tell me, but I guess they didn't want me to be worried if I emerged from my cacoon later to find them gone.

"No, not _we're_," she indicted just herself and her sisters, "_we're_," she pointed to the whole room in a wide circle with her fingers.

"I really don't feel like going anywhere."

She smiled slyly at me, "Trust me."

"Fine." I knew I was going to regret this. She wanted me to come and I wasn't sure.

"Please?" She pushed her bottom lip out in an almost exact replica of Alice's pout. I could see the need she had for me to agree. I was starting to get better at recognising the intensity of the need and the type of desire by the shimmering colours that shifted around people. I figured with some experience I might even be able to work out people's desires at a greater distance.

I walked to the drawer and pulled out a new pair of jeans, slightly more designer than the ones I was wearing. Kate rolled her eyes at me, "We're not going somewhere where _those_ would be appropriate. Think more eveningwear."

I was _really_ going to regret this. "Fine." I pulled out the blue satin dress. "Now will you leave so I can get changed?"

They all laughed and headed back out the door.

I changed into the dress and stood at the mirror admiring the image. The dress was very simple with no adornments, it was cut slightly on the bias so the royal blue satin shimmered around my body like water. The halter neck sat perfectly along my collarbone. It plunged down at the back so low I couldn't wear anything but a pair of panties underneath and the front cut low to reveal cleavage that I never thought I would have. I figured being immortal would have some definite benefits if I could look this good without a push-up bra.

The dress floated around me, as if I had nothing on – which was almost true. I pulled my hair up into a loose messy bun, with long strands hanging loosely around my face. It went up perfectly the first time. I couldn't quite get excited about going out but it felt nice dressing up for a change. I think I used to hate it when I was human because it was all such an effort, but this was easy.

I pulled on the only dress shoes I had kept, they were gold and strappy and covered in diamantes. Completely ridiculous but completely perfect for this dress.

Once I was finished getting ready there was a knock on the door. "Come in," I sighed.

"Oh, cheer up. It won't be that bad." Irina answered.

"Mmm-hmm, if you say so."

"I just wanted to bring you this. It will go with the dress perfectly." She held a long gold necklace in her fingers. She slipped it around my neck, the necklace itself sat just on my collarbone an inch inside the halter neck of the dress but it had three delicate chains coming off it, each one holding a small diamond. They each fell at a different length against my chest. The longest one plunged down to end at the point just above my cleavage. It was stunning and completed the outfit perfectly.

"Thank you, it's stunning."

"Can I just say wow! You look gorgeous."

I would have blushed if I still had the ability.

"Come on, everyone is waiting for you downstairs."

I walked down the stairs and realised none of them were dressed up. Suddenly Irina had one of my arms linked in hers and Tanya had the other.

"Sorry for the deception, sweetie." Tanya said.

I glared at her, "What's going on?"

The doorbell rang and I found myself being led over to the front door.

Kate flicked the door open and I stopped breathing.

*****

-EPOV-

I heard Bella's voice from the other side of the door. She sounded upset. I hoped this was going to work as I had planned. But now I had come this far and was so close to Bella I couldn't turn away. Even if I wanted to it was impossible.

I pushed the ringer on the doorbell and waited.

The door flicked open and light flooded into the night. Standing in the middle of the doorway was Bella. I couldn't breathe. Bella always looked stellar but tonight she was positively ethereal.

She stared back at me with wide-eyed wonder, her lips open in shock. I wanted to reach forward and kiss her or touch her lips with my finger but I needed her to initiate. I needed her to want me. I heard the thoughts of the others but they were muffled and dim. Nothing existed in that second except Bella and my need for her, my longing.

The bright royal blue of her dress offset her colouring to perfection. The dress wrapped delicately around her neck before plunging in cascades over her body. The light from behind her shimmered off the satin on her hips and her dressed seemed to shine, like she was surrounded by a white light. A gold chain hung around her neck and dropped diamonds onto her throat and chest. The dress and the necklace they called to me, trying to draw my attention down the neckline but my eyes were far too distracted by her face. The light in her eyes and the curve of her lips. Our eyes met and my need double, tripled. It took every inch of my willpower not to cover the short distance between us and cling to her, begging her to never let me out of her sight.

A minute passed in silence. The others were starting to twitter and laugh nervously now but both Bella and I seemed frozen in shock. Finally I remembered the flowers I was holding behind my back. Blood-red roses. I hoped she would remember the significance. I knew _I_ would never be able to look at them again without feeling mildly aroused.

Her eyes flicked to the flowers I extended to her before settling back onto my face. The look of shock was still evident but I wished she would say something or do something. I could feel my heart splintering again, I could see this beauty was going to send me away. I shouldn't have come. My hand dropped an inch, the flowers falling slightly forward, away from me. My face fell a little, but I was working hard not to show the extent of the hurt I was feeling.

I saw her flinch in reaction to the look on my face and I felt a spark of hope ignite.

_Say something, idiot._

_Talk to her._

_Do something._

_Don't let her get away._

I wasn't whether they were my thoughts or whether Tanya, Kate and Irina were shouting at me in my mind. I was too far gone to comprehend such simple things.

I stared at Bella for another couple of seconds before I opened my mouth to talk, I had a perfectly fine opening line organised in my head. _Hello, Bella. You look stunning tonight._ But what came out was, "Umm....wow!"

I saw the corner of her mouth twitch, threatening to smile.

Then I remembered I had realised a little earlier that we had never actually been introduced or met formally. I opened my mouth again and forced my brain into action, "Hello, Bella. I haven't had a chance to _properly_ introduce myself. I'm Edward Cullen."

A chuckle escaped her lips before they pursed back into a pout.

*****

-BPOV-

I thought I might go blind at the sight that greeted me behind the door. Edward Cullen stood in the doorway, in a black tuxedo which could have made even my dead heart flip. The deep black offset his ivory skin perfectly. But what I was most stunned at was the fantastic colour of his desire. A brilliant honey-gold that perfectly matched his eyes radiated like an aura around him.

I felt his need for me. It burned deep within every inch of my body.

The only thing that stopped me from running into his arms was guilt. It wasn't really his need. It wasn't really his desire. It was mine. I could see that so clearly now. The longer I spent concentrating on my gift the more I understood it. I could almost hear my soul whispering to his. But was that fair to him? To entrap him with something he never had a choice about.

I saw his eyes quickly wander over my body before settling back on my face. On my eyes. Once we had eye contact my soul was no longer whisper it was shouting. I knew the others were still around me but I couldn't sense them or their desire. My own was burning too hot. The rest of the world faded to black beside the glowing beacon that was Edward.

He pulled some flowers from behind his back. Blood-red roses. I wondered if he realised just what the image of those flowers did to me. But I couldn't bring myself to look at them for long. Not when his eyes were calling me back in.

When I met his eyes, I saw pain. Pain that I had caused. I needed to get away from him. To let him forget me so that he could find someone who he loved because he wanted to. His face fell and his hand dropped a fraction. The hurt that was evident in those two tiny moves almost crippled me.

He seemed to have an internal debate before he opened his mouth, I wondered what was going to say. What words he would say, would he plead for me or tell me that he hated me for what I had done.

"Um...wow!"

Not what I expected. I felt my lips twitch a little. But I couldn't do this to him. It wasn't fair.

He spoke again, "Hello, Bella. I haven't had a chance to _properly_ introduce myself. I'm Edward Cullen."

I couldn't help the small laugh that escaped my lips when I realised he was right. We had known every part of each other but never introduced ourselves. Then I remembered why we had known every part of each other. I couldn't do this to him. It wasn't fair on him. But a small part of my brain argued that he was a willing participant right now. He had sought me out.

He turned the full effects of his smile on me, absolutely dazzling me, "Isabella Swan, I have come to ask if you would like to accompany me on a drive tonight?"

I couldn't stop the cynical voice that was shouting at me that he was only asking because it was what I wanted him to do. But I ignored it and nodded my head. The look of relief that passed across his features was so great it made my heart melt. It even silenced the cynic for a few moments.

He held out his arm for me, I reached forward and found myself alone with Edward Cullen.

**A/N – Thanks again for the reviews & the favs & everything. I hope you are still enjoying this story. If you are I'd love to hear. Honestly reviews are like rainbows & brighten up my day :)**


	14. Date

**Chapter 14****: Date**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

-BPOV-

"So where exactly are you planning on driving to?" I thought this was the safest question to ask.

"Oh, I have somewhere in mind." Edward answered with a lop-sided smile on his face. I wonder if he knows exactly what that smile does to me. I couldn't help smiling slightly in response.

"But you're not going to tell me?"

He shook his head and offered his arm again.

I sighed, I shouldn't be doing this. It wasn't fair to him. I needed to tell him what I had done. He needed to know how I had manipulated him into thinking he was in love with me. Instead I took his arm and let him lead me to his car.

He opened the car door for me and helped me in. Completely unnecessary but very sweet. It was also unnecessary just how long his eyes wondered over my bare legs before flicking to my face again before he shut the door. He was in the driver's seat and gunning the engine almost the instant my door closed. I stared out the window at the scenery determined to keep my eyes there for the entire trip but my resolve lasted all of two seconds before I turned back to Edward. His eyes kept calling me back in.

His face kept turning towards me too and he smiled a little before turning his eyes back to the road. I could have sworn if he were able to blush he would have been.

"I hope you don't mind, there will be a little bit of running. This car isn't designed for going off-road." He admitted.

I laughed, "You tell me that _after_ I'm in the car and can't get away.

He smiled wickedly at me but his eyes seemed to beg for an answer.

"I don't mind running. Although I think the girls will kill me if I ruin these shoes."

"Maybe I can help out with that."

I looked at him quizzically but he just stared at the road, a smile danced on his lips at whatever he had in mind.

I decided I needed to get the difficult conversation under way as soon as possible, "Edward, why..."

He held up a finger to stop me. "Later. For now, I would like to get to know you better so let's just pretend this is our first date."

"Date? I thought you said drive?"

A look of panic crossed though his eyes, "It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be, it's just...well isn't that what it is customarily called when a guy and girl both get dressed up, the guy turns up with roses and they go out?" His face was pleading me for something. I read his desire - he didn't want me to leave. He thought he was scaring me off. I almost laughed at the irony that it was _him _who should run screaming.

"I don't mind if it's a date." I whispered.

His sigh of relief filled the car.

We drove in silence for another couple of minutes. "It's just up here." He said.

He pulled the car into a car park across the road from a look-out. The view from the look-out was stunning, mountains stretching as far as the eye can see. To the left of the car park there was a forest trail. It was a well marked-out trail but somehow I knew it wouldn't be our destination.

Edward opened my door and helped me out of the car. In the next instant I found myself swept up in his arms. His hand touching my bare back almost burned me with the heat and fire between us.

"What are you doing?" I protested.

"Saving those shoes of yours," He laughed.

"I can run on my own."

"If you prefer."

He put me back down and I realised I didn't prefer, I was enjoying the closeness. The delicious aromas of his scent circling around me in the air. But I wasn't about to admit that to him. He already had enough reasons to be angry when I told him everything.

"Follow me," he said before confirming my previous assumption but running into the forest on the right. I had no trouble keeping up. A few minutes into the run later he stopped.

"Do you mind?" He asked holding up a blindfold.

I knew I would be able to navigate just as easily without sight so I shook my head. He walked behind me and gently wrapped the blindfold around my eyes. I could still make out vague shapes even through the thick material. I kept my eyes open despite the covering it felt more comfortable. I felt his hand clasp mine and a bolt of electricity went through me. A dull light seemed to flash behind my eyes but it was gone as soon as it started.

He pulled me in the direction we were heading before. We went at a little faster than human speed but it wasn't quite the run we had before. Eventually he pulled me to a stop and put his hands on my shoulders, turning me slightly to adjust my position into the best angle for whatever he was going to reveal to me.

His hands reached up behind me, hands lingering on my neck slightly longer than was necessary and I felt my breathing quicken. Then he deftly undid the knot and stripped the blindfold away.

The sight before was familiar but different and completely breathtaking. He had found a small stream which was so similar to the one where we had spent the best day of my existence. There were no wild roses here though, so he had brought in and scattered what had to be at least one hundred blood-red roses.

He was recreating our perfect moment together. But he didn't realise it wasn't perfect at all. It was wrong because I had manipulated him into feeling something for me. How could I ever forgive myself for that? How could he ever forgive me? And he was staring at me expectantly waiting to see my response.

I couldn't help the sob that escaped my lips.

Edward looked crestfallen, "That wasn't the reaction I'd been hoping for."

"I'm sorry. It's beautiful."

He rubbed his hand on my cheek gently, "Don't ever be sorry. I want to see every part of you, to know every part of you." He recited words I had once said to him.

I sobbed again, "It's just...there's so much you don't know."

"Then enlighten me."

"I found out... yesterday..." I couldn't speak because the sobs were starting to work their way through my whole body.

Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder and guided me to the middle of the rose petals. He helped me to sit down and then sat across from me staring into my eyes. We both sat cross-legged and were so close our knees were touching.

Then he whispered words I had not expected, "I know about that."

I gasped, "You know?"

He nodded.

"How?"

"Guess."

"One of the sisters?"

He smiled.

"And yet here you are?"

He smiled wider.

"But don't you hate me? I forced you to fall in love with me and then I broke your heart."

He reached out and ran his hand over my hair, "I could never hate you."

"But how can you trust what you're feeling?"

He shrugged, "How do you ever. When do you know who is the right one and when do you just take a leap of blind faith?"

I leaned my head against his hand, he cupped it but continued to stroke with his thumb. "But I never gave you a choice."

He used his hand to draw my face a little closer to his and looked into my eyes. His eyes were hypnotic and held me still, "Bella, there is always a choice."

I stared at him, unable to even draw breath.

"And I choose you."

His lips crashed onto mine. Every doubt, every fear I had was instantly erased, all that existed was Edward. I wanted nothing more than to be with him for the rest of eternity.

Eventually he broke the kiss apart. I had been so involved with the kiss I hadn't noticed the small shifts in him that had indicated he was moving but when I opened my eyes again he held a small blue box in his hand.

Once he knew it had my attention he slowly lifted the lid and revealed a delicate oval-shaped ring.

He opened his mouth to talk but must have seen the look of horror that I tried to contain because less than a sixteenth of a second later the box was gone and he was picking rose petals off the ground and crushing them between his fingers, pretending nothing had happened.

"What?" I asked incredulously. "You don't know me... I don't know you."

He picked up another rose petal, and murmured, so low it was only that the wind carried it to my ears that I could hear, "I know enough. And I want to learn the rest."

The smell of the broken rose petals filled the air, reminding me of the day by the stream. My stream.

"Forget it, Bella. Please, I'm sorry I shouldn't have even... I didn't mean to... I just... _I can't lose you again_."His voice was so broken and lost. I did that to him. The pain that was traced over ever inch of his face and buried deep in his eyes. That was my fault.

"I'm sorry." I whispered to him, closing my eyes.

I felt his hand grab mine and as it did a strange thing happened. I could see the honey-gold of Edward's desire behind my eyes. It filled up every part of my mind and took over all my senses. I was blind and deaf to everything else in the world but the colour. The silence was even more absolute than my time in the snow, then I could still hear the wind shifting. Now there was nothing.

Silence.

Then I heard a soft whispering. I concentrated on these whispers. The honey-gold colour burned brighter. It was so bright I wondered if I would ever appreciate daylight again. It was like staring into the sun, except it was everywhere. The sensation scared me but I couldn't bear to let it go. I felt Edward pulling gently at my hand. I held on tighter and pulled it onto my chest, to rest just above where my heart used to beat.

I gasped as the honey-gold colour exploded through my entire body. Every inch of me was filled with this light, this colour.

Suddenly I heard Edward calling my name. He was shouting something that I couldn't understand. He sounded frantic. I must be unresponsive. I wondered how long I had been sitting still, it felt like it must have been a good many minutes.

I opened my eyes and dropped his hand, "What did you say?"

He looked at me stunned, "I didn't say anything. But are you alright?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"You seemed to be, I don't know how to put this, vacant?"

"What was that?" I asked, myself as much as Edward. I didn't know if either of us would have any answers.

"What happened?"

"I just felt... I don't... I heard something. Whispers." I couldn't put into words what I had experienced.

"Maybe it is something to do with your talent?" He looked at me, his eyes brimming with anxiety.

"I want to try it again." I knew something in Edward's touch had set it off. And it had grown when I moved his hand to my heart.

Edward looked a little concerned but didn't make any move to stop me.

I grabbed both of his hands in mine and pulled them close to my chest. The move pulled Edward's face close to mine. So close I could feel and taste every breath he made. I could smell the slight pooling of venom caused by his stress. He swallowed hard. I closed my eyes and my mind was filled with the golden light again.

I couldn't hear a sound, not even Edward's breaths. I could no longer feel them on my face. I felt nothing outside my own body. My mind was filled completely by the brilliant light. Then the whispering stared again. I tried to concentrate on it. I turned my entire mind towards understanding it. I heard my own voice but I couldn't hear the words.

The whispering dropped in and out in volume but was never loud enough for me to understand the words. Every now and then I could hear Edward calling my name. He sounded as frantic as before.

I strained every part of my mind to hear it but the more I strained the less I heard. I started to draw in deep breaths, I couldn't help noticing each breath increasingly carried Edward's scent into me. I found myself relaxing and the more I relaxed the clearer the voices became. I felt my lips fall open as a sigh escaped. The voices were becoming clearer and the light becoming brighter.

I felt something soft touch my lips, the pressure less than that of a butterfly wing but the instant of contact the voices became crystal clear. I could hear myself calling for Edward, begging him to hold me near, calling him to me. But in a hushed conversation he called my name back, frantic, begging me not to go. Begging me to hear him, to understand that he loved me before I called to him. I could hear my voice comforting him, telling him I loved him but I was confused.

The pressure on my lips increased. Lips were moulding themselves around mine and mine complied completely. The voices changed, Edward's calmed and whispered of love and endless devotion. My voice made the same promises.

I understood what was happening now. I felt so calm, a peace settled through me unlike any I had ever experienced before. I stopped the kiss without pulling away. An edge of panic started to creep into Edward's voice.

I spoke out loud without opening my eyes, I didn't want to lose the beauty and purity that existed in this instant. "Can you hear that?" I asked Edward.

There were a few seconds pause. His lips and breath danced in unison across the skin on my cheek as he whispered, "Hear what?"

"It's not outside. It's inside." I pushed our joined hand out, pressing them towards the place where I knew his chest would be.

"I don't understand."

"I want you to hear. Close your eyes." As we spoke our lips continued to brush each others.

Edward's voice in the light increased in volume. It spoke of his trust in me. He wanted me to show him. I wasn't sure if I could but I wanted him to experience this.

"Don't listen with your mind." I told him out loud.

"I can't help it."

"You need to listen with your heart, with your soul, not your mind. It's why you can't hear my thoughts." It was only a theory before. But now I knew it was the truth. I found his lips again, moving mine against them. The voices in my head increased in volume again with the intimate contact, they still spoke in the hushed whispers of love but it was as loud as a freight train running through me. I could hear my voice explaining to Edward how to listen. The conversation occurred naturally and without a conscious thought. I didn't think I could change its direction if I wanted to. His voice pleaded back with me to help him. He didn't understand. Mine told him it was alright. We could do this, together.

I knew the instant Edward heard the voices. An audible gasp escaped from him. I waited while he listened to the whisperings of love and devotion.

Finally I dropped my hands and leant back breaking the physical connection between us, but I found that although it was muted and the light had dimmed I could still hear the conversation happening. Exactly as it had happened all along. A constant communication between two souls.

I opened my eyes to see Edward, his eyes were still closed and there was a wide smile on his lips.

"I've never heard...or seen...anything so..."

"Perfect." I finished for him.

His eyes opened and he looked at me. When our eyes met I could hear the dialogue between our souls again. The smile that played on his lips told me he could too.

Without any further words being spoken I felt him slide the ring onto my finger. Where it would stay for eternity.

*****

-EPOV-

The look that crossed Bella's face when I held the ring shattered me to the core of my existence. I knew it was a stupid move, she was still so confused and so scared. But after that kiss I thought she knew the truth of it. And then when she told me _she _was sorry it was too much for me. I grabbed at her hand to try to comfort her.

I don't know what happened but she just froze. It was as if something within her had retreated back to its core. Her breathing was meditative, breathing in and out in a perfect rhythm. I wasn't sure if she was purposefully ignoring me though. Maybe she thought I would leave her if she waited long enough. I went to pull my hand back from hers but she clasped it tighter. Then she slowly drew our joined hands to rest over her heart. She gasped at something. It was the first sign of life she had shown. I felt hope stir in me again, I felt my body screaming for her.

She snapped her eyes open and dropped my hand, she looked...._frustrated?_ "What did you say?"

I couldn't hide my shock, at both the look on her face and what she was saying. "I didn't say anything. But are you alright?"

"I don't know. Why?"

Because we were in the middle of something when you froze completely still for a number of minutes with no indication of what was happening? But I couldn't say that, "You seemed to be, I don't know how to put this, vacant?"

"What was that?" She murmured, I didn't think the questions was actually directed at me.

"What happened?"

"I just felt... I don't... I heard something. Whispers."

I stated to worry about her, had something snapped with her. I felt a sudden need to get her to Carlisle. I needed to make sure she was alright. Then another idea hit me, "Maybe it is something to do with your talent?"

"I want to try it again."

She said it with such conviction, how could I deny her. But I had to admit I was worried, what if she disappeared into herself forever?

She reached forward, pulling both my hands close to her chest. I allowed her to pull my whole body forward as she did. Her face was inches from mine and I drank deep of her glorious aroma. I tried not to let her know how worried I was about her. I thought that might frighten her off and I couldn't risk doing that. I swallowed to bite back the excess venom that was pooling in my mouth because of my stress. I would need to feed again soon if my emotions stayed on this rollercoaster. She closed her eyes and was vacant again.

I watched her tensely as her breathing fell into the same rhythmic pattern and she seemed oblivious to everything around her. Slowly though she seemed to come back, I noticed little things, like her fingers twitching against mine when I gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

Her breathing shifted and became deeper, like someone trying to calm themselves. Her lips parted in a sigh and I watched them, mesmerised. I felt draw in to her like a moth to a flame. Exactly as I had the first day I met her, while she was still human. Her lips looked full and soft and delicate and I longed for nothing more than to kiss them again. I found myself involuntarily shifting forward a fraction of an inch at a time. I closed the last of the distance and touched my lips to hers with the lightest of pressure, ready to pull back at the first sign that she wanted me to stop.

Her breathing hitched slightly the instant our lips met. I took it as a sign to continue. I pressed my lips closer to hers, moulding mine around hers. I tried to pour all of my need for her into this kiss, just in case it was the last we ever shared. Her lips parted a little more before she was kissing me back. And my body soared. I was flying in heaven in that instant.

Bella broke off the kiss without moving her face from mine. I felt the panic rising, this was the moment I had been dreading she was steeling herself up to send me away. That's why she had been so still.

"Can you hear that?" She whispered almost silently, her breath warming my cheek.

I listened hard, I could hear some cars passing in the distance but nothing immediate had changed, "Hear what?"

She reached our joined hands out and pressed them into my chest. "It's not outside. It's inside."

"I don't understand." I searched her features for some indication, anything, of what she meant. I was completely confused.

"I want you to hear. Close your eyes."

Her lips were still so close to mine I could feel the heat and electricity that sizzled off them. It was hard to deliberately cut-off my view of her lovely face but I did. I closed my eyes to see what she was trying to show me. I listened with both senses, my hearing and my mind, reaching out as far as I could. I tried reaching into Bella's mind again too but it was still silent.

"Don't listen with your mind." She said.

How else was I supposed to listen? "I can't help it."

Her next words were breathy and ethereal. She was trying to rely something to me. "You need to listen with your heart, with your soul, not your mind. It's why you can't hear my thoughts."

I would have pondered what she was saying but her lips were on mine. I tried to close off my mind, relax into kissing Bella. I could spend eternity doing this. If only I knew what she was talking about, what she wanted me to hear. I felt my entire being falling into hers. As soon as I felt that sensation, a radio was turned on. I gasped. It was almost the same as my mind reading. Almost but it wasn't in my mind, it was in my body. In my soul. I had doubted the existence of my soul for over 90 years but how could I in this instant when I could hear Bella speaking to me through it? Her voice whispered softly to me offering me comfort. Offering me her. I could feel myself responding, even though I made no conscious decision to do so.

Bella dropped my hands and leant her head back. But I wasn't concerned with the lack of physical contact because I still felt...connected somehow.

I couldn't open my eyes because I didn't want to forget this feeling. I could feel my lips falling in a wide idiotic grin. I tried to voice to Bella how I felt, "I've never heard...or seen...anything so..."

"Perfect." She finished for me.

I opened my eyes and met hers. I could hear the conversation continue between our souls. I smiled widely at her. I knew we would never be separated again. No fear existed between us anymore. I didn't even need to ask her, I pulled out the engagement ring and slipped it onto her finger.

**A/N – One of my awesome reviewers Denise asked some great questions about how Bella's gift works & I know some other people are curious. It's hard to describe it in the context of the story because since becoming aware of it Bella just 'knows' how it works instinctually. Because it isn't like her shield (which she has to learn to manipulate) the only thing she really needs to learn is how to read people from a distance and how to choose what to "say" to Edward's soul – at the moment it is all instinctual whisperings between them. So a brief run down on Bella's power & then I will answer Denise's questions:**

**Basically Bella's power is most similar to Edward's, except he can read minds and she can read souls. She can see what are persons true desire is in that instant so can never be deceived by conscious thoughts. Take Aro for example, Edward could read something if he thinks about what a good addition Edward & Alice would make to the Volturi but Aro can keep his thoughts hidden on that. As Alice says in New Moon it is possible to lie with yours thoughts. It's not possible to lie about what your heart and soul truly desire because it is deeper than a thought. And in a way this gives her a little bit of pre-cognition, she will be able to know what people **_**want**_** to do before Alice would see a vision based on their decisions.**

**Bella can see an aura around people and different colours and strengths denote different things (e.g. gold denotes love), think of it like a mood ring almost always shifting depending on the dominant desire, but she can also get a "sense" of what they want if they are standing close to her, like an intuition. It won't be specific though, just a feel for what you desire. For example if you wanted a million dollars to save a sick child she wouldn't know that you wanted a million dollars just that you wanted to help someone. And she can only sense the most dominant desire at the time.**

**Now for Q&A:**

_**How does Bella's gift differ from Jasper's, Will she be able to influence others like he can?**_

**As above, her gift is closer to Edward's than Jaspers. She can't influence people outright like Jasper can, just listen to their desires. Although she can use this desire to influence a decision by dangling what they want in front of them – like the men in the bar who desired violence towards a woman. She gave herself up as willing bait & they took it hook, line & sinker.**

**The exception to this of course is Edward. Communication with him is more 2-way she can 'hear' his desires but her soul can also talk back to him. Basically they are soul-mates and their souls can talk freely and openly and do at every opportunity.**

_**Will Tanya show her green eyed monster toward Bella or vice versa?**_

**Tanya's not as vindictive and jealous in my story as she is in others. In fact she helped Edward set the date up. Because she helped rescue Bella from her lowest point she feels like Bella is a sister to her, a little sister she needs to protect. She knows she would never have anything lasting with Edward – they would drive each other nuts. She just wanted to claim the conquest but she won't now that Bella is involved. **

_**How is Bella's and Rosalie's relationship develop?**_

**Rosalie doesn't hate Bella in this world because Bella never had a choice – she wasn't throwing away her own humanity. Rosalie resents Edward for turning Bella but can see the pull that Bella has for him. She doesn't care what Edward needs to do - as far as she's concern he owes Bella for the rest of her existence for stealing her life away, especially when there was another choice.**

_**How much control does she have over Edward?**_

**That remains to be seen I guess. Technically she will be able to plant desires and wishes within him once she has mastered her gift, but she can't take away his free will. Having a desire and acting on it are two different things. But will she? And even if she did, wouldn't Edward follow regardless of her gift. He would have fallen in love with her anyway as her gift demonstrated to her. Basically I guess you could say she has as much control as any true soul-mate would.**

_**Will she remain nice or start manipulating people to her every whim?**_

**As per the first question, she can't really manipulate everyone – she can only use their own desires against them but they have to exist in the first place. **

**Sorry for the extra long A/N. If anyone else has any questions for me – feel free to toss them at me. If I think it's too big a spoiler I won't answer but if it isn't I will happily reply, either privately or in an A/N. **

**There is a little bit more left to this story so stay tuned, but I'm not sure if I'll get a chance to post it before Christmas so MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**


	15. Denali

**Chapter 15****: Denali**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

-BPOV-

Edward and I continued to stare at each other in reverential silence for another few minutes. I adjusted quickly to the addition on my finger. It wasn't just the physical weight, which was nothing, but the emotional weight of a symbol tying us together. We'd still only known each other a few months and had only a few hours conversation between us but I knew deep within every inch of my body that I loved Edward Cullen. I would stop at nothing to protect him and to keep him safe by my side.

I grabbed onto his hand and pulled it onto my face, closing my eyes as the voices within me grew louder. It was refreshing to know anytime doubt crept in I could hear his desire. I didn't know what distances I would be able to hear him over and I didn't plan on testing that out. But I did know that physical closeness made them louder and that made me curious. That I would be willing to test.

I reached out and ran the back of my hand down the side of his face. Electricity crackled between our skin. He grabbed my hand in his and kissed it gently. We both pulled ourselves up to our knees and pressed our bodies close together and stared into one another's eyes. I felt myself drawn towards his lips. I crashed into him with such ferocity I was surprised I didn't knock us both to the ground. He reached his hands around my waist before running them up the bare skin of my back and resting them in the crook of my neck. The move gave him better access to my collarbone and chest and I leaned back into his hands, giving him even more. His lips and tongue stroked and kissed my bare skin wherever he could access it. The hands at my neck seemed to find the weakness in the dress I was wearing and the clasp came undone, the material falling into a pile around my knees. He growled seductively into my throat before pulling back to admire the view.

"And I thought that dress looked good on." He murmured against me.

"That's hardly fair." I protested, tearing his tie off.

"What's that?" He asked, a smile on his lips.

"Well, you can see all of me and I can't see much of you."

I pushed the tuxedo jacket back off his shoulders. He allowed me space to undo all the buttons. I knew I could have ripped him out of it in seconds. But this wasn't about primal need or comfort like the last few times we came together. This was about our love and being together. Gentleness and tenderness. His fingers reached around the chain at my neck, sliding gently down its length, trailing the back of his fingers along my sternum. I felt his touch go through me, deep inside into the core of my being. I had his shirt undone and slid it down his arms. I could feel him shiver beneath my fingers.

I closed my eyes and ran my fingers across his chest. When I opened my eyes again we were in our own private bubble, nothing existed outside of us. He pushed his hands into my hair, running his fingers across my scalp. When his hands we buried deep in my hair he pulled gently forcing my face to turn slightly upwards and he pressed his lips to mine, slowly increasing the pressure and intensity until I parted my lips and pushed my tongue out towards his mouth. His met mine in the middle and they moulded together. We met perfectly in the middle, pressing our bodies close to one another. Like pieces of a puzzle we slid into one another, our hands reaching around each other. I stood, pulling Edward to his feet as well. I unthreaded his belt without breaking our kiss. I unbuttoned his pants & slowly pulled down the zip. He shook them gently to the ground.

He wrapped one arm around my thigh and hitched it around his waist. I lifted the other and wrapped it around him too, linking my ankles behind his back. The position changed the angle of kiss and allowed me to deepen it. I pushed my fingers through his hair, clenching them into fists through the hair near his temple and he moaned against my lips.

His arms held me securely in place as he kneaded small circles into the base of my spine. Then he lowered himself onto the ground, pulling me into his lap. Our lips never parted as we found a steady rhythm, neither of us willing to give up the feeling of serenity and closeness that surrounded us. Edward pushed me to the ground and I sunk into the ground beneath him. We finally broke the kiss off and he started to work over my body, paying special attention to every inch of my skin. Finally he peeled my underwear away before discarding his own. He moved into me and captured my eyes with his own. We didn't break eye contact as we started to race each other to the finish.

*****

The sun was starting to dawn as we walked back to the car. The first rays of sun angled onto Edward's skin and splintered off into rainbow. We held hands as we walked back to the car both our outfits dishevelled. Edward hadn't bothered putting his jacket or tie back on, just his shirt and pants. Seeing him sling the jacket over his shoulder like a male model was incredibly attractive. He continued to take my breath away. Despite spending the entire night together I still couldn't bear to turn away from him. Not because I was afraid he would run, I knew that we were permanently bound together now, but because the colour of his aura was the colour of perfection and nothing else could compare.

We drove back to the sister's house. I sighed on the way. I knew I could never be apart from Edward again but that didn't solve all of our problems. I wasn't sure I was ready to return to the Cullen's. There were two things playing on my mind. I had acted dreadfully towards Alice the last time I saw her. But the more concerning thing for me was that my return would force them from their home and I couldn't be responsible for that. But I also didn't want to be the reason for Edward to be away from his family. I knew I would have to talk to Edward about it eventually but I didn't want to ruin our day. I didn't want to stop the voice that was still whispering into my soul.

When we arrived back at the house I wasn't sure how to act. Despite being here for such a short time this felt like home, but how would the sisters, or Carmen and Eleazar for that matter, feel about me walking through the front door without knocking as if I owned the place. As it turned out it didn't matter because everyone rushed forward out of the house to meet us before Edward had even opened my car door. When he did the look on his face was one of shock.

"What is it?" I asked anxiously.

"I can't hear them," He whispered. "I can only hear you and me. And I think it's because of you."

"I'm sorry," I whispered back just as quietly.

His face broke into a wide smile, "Don't be. Imagine standing in a room with five other people, all of them talking at once at different volumes. That's what I would usually be hearing right now but instead it's almost silent. It's very peaceful."

"I haven't broken you have I?" I asked in an even lower voice.

He chuckled and closed his eyes, then he groaned, "Nope. They're back."

"How?"

"I stopped listening to you."

"So can you turn it on and off?" I asked.

"I think I will be able to with some practise," he smiled again, "You're like an anaesthetic for my mind."

I laughed, "Are you trying to be romantic?"

"Everyone is waiting for us."

I turned and they were all having back a few feet from the car giving us our space. They all seemed to be relieved at the fact we were talking and laughing though, although they were no doubt confused by our words. Once they saw me giving them attention Tanya ran up and pulled me into an embrace, then she turned to Kate, "Looks like our newest sister got matched before we did."

I was embarrassed to hear her use the s word but at the same time thrilled. They really did include me as part of their family now. They had rescued me in my darkest time and I would owe them for it forever.

Kate laughed, "Typical, stealing all the good men. And our family of all people."

Irina joined in, "You wouldn't want just one though, would you Tanya."

Tanya grinned, "Nah, not when there are still so many to sample."

"You don't mind if Bella and I stay for a little while do you?" Edward asked. I turned my head in surprise, I hadn't expected him to suggest we stay away from his family. Had I forced what I wanted onto him again? Just before the panic set in I heard his voice comforting me, he knew this was what I needed, he would still be in contact with his family and when I was ready we could go back. He told me his family knew where he was and that he was happy, that would make them happy.

Tanya, Irina and Kate all jumped up and down squealing. They were excited that I wasn't going yet. It warmed me inside. While they were screaming and making noise Carmen wrapped my arm in her hands, "Bella, love, you will be welcome as long as you want to stay. This is your house now too. We are your family."

I let go of Edward's hand long enough to give her a tight embrace. "Thank you," I whispered in her ear.

They slowly led us inside, the excitement in the atmosphere was electric. Once we were settled onto the couch Eleazar spoke for the first time, "So Edward, is that true – that you couldn't hear us outside."

Edward nodded, pulling me tighter to him.

"I'd be interested in testing that further, with more people."

"Me too," Edward said. "When Bella and I are more ready to be around other people, that is."

Eleazar nodded, it must have been obvious that between my newborn status and Edward's recent lapses it would take a while before we could safely be around humans for any length of time.

"We'll go hunting later?" I asked. I knew I was starting to feel the burn more every minute and I could only imagine Edward was the same.

"Definitely."

I wrapped myself up into Edward's arm and spent the rest of the morning talking to our family.

*****

-EPOV-

I couldn't believe how my life had changed since two days ago. Then I had been trapped in my own personal hell, unable to clear my head of thoughts of Bella but unable to do anything to find her. Now I was leading her out the back door of our new home to go hunting together, the way my family did. The vegetarian way. As much as I found my dark angel to be seductive and beautiful I wanted better than that for Bella. I had hurt her and stolen her life and yet beyond my wildest dreams she loved me and wanted to be with me forever. I wanted to be someone who deserved her love.

I had called Alice earlier, she already knew our decision of course but I wanted to see what the family thought. I wasn't surprised by their reaction. As much as I knew they wanted me with them, me being around hadn't been fun for anyone lately. Between being on constant watch for my escape, Jasper having to deal with my depression and seeing me so empty and unhappy had worn them down. They would be happy when, if, Bella and I returned hand in hand to be part of their family.

Bella let my hand go as she picked up the scent of some nearby wolves. She ripped through the pack and had already drained one by the time I caught up with her. I quickly leapt after another. The ones that were left ranged in reactions, some tried to defend their fallen comrades, others ran. We left a few of the younger ones alive but drained the rest. Bella smiled at me when we'd finished, "Not quite the same as human's are they?"

"We can always go back to that if you like?" I teased but in truth I would. Although I would rather be someone that deserved her love I would hunt humans for her if that was what she needed.

She smiled at me, she was so beautiful when she did that, but shook her head, "I can resist."

I pulled her gently into my arms and stood holding her for a long time. A little while later she pulled away but held my hand and we walked back to the house. To our family.

**A/N – Sorry I know this chapter is super short but there are a few key things. I also know it's been over a week since I posted a chapter so I wanted to get this up asap. I promise more interesting & more exciting chapters shortly. I've just been struggling with a bit of writers block on this story because Teacher's pet has been yelling at me so much louder. **

**Happy new year everyone (well, it's new years eve for me anyone)**


	16. Alice

**Chapter 16****: Alice**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

-BPOV-

I was in our bedroom, organising the few small personal items we had started to amass. Edward was down in the garage, I felt him pulling back and forth from my voice, connecting and disconnecting. I smiled, he was obviously practising with his ability.

I jumped when I heard the front door crash open. The sound was ominous. Especially when followed by thundering of footsteps across the living room.

"Bella!" Edward bellowed as he hit the stairs, "We're leaving."

"What? Why?" I asked.

I couldn't understand what his problem could be, everything had been fine – not more than fine, perfect, until a few minutes ago. After all, we had been in Denali for a little over a month. And it was the best month of my life by a long shot. Denali felt more like home here than I had even with Renee. I had siblings and love, everything you could ask for really. Tanya, Kate and Irina spoiled me rotten, despite my protests. They had a number of great investments and no living expenses so they had amassed a small fortune over the years and liked spending it on everyone in their family.

A little over a week after Edward arrived, Rosalie and Emmett had driven Edward's Volvo up. They drove the Vanquish back the following day. They spent the time with us telling us all about their family and what was happening in Forks. They seemed genuinely pleased to see Edward and I together and happy.

Rosalie had told us that the family were looking at moving on at the end of the school year, after Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper graduated. Alice wasn't looking forward to a year of school on her own so she was pushing for them to move on sooner than they had originally planned. That gave them plenty of time to plan a smooth exit and decide where they would go next. Rosalie gave many subtle hints that there would be a free bedroom for Edward and I if we wanted to go with them. I could see how desperately Rosalie needed it, her aura practically screamed it. And I was sure every one of Edward's family's auras would look the same if they were here.

And Rosalie's silent offer was tempting. As much as I loved it in Denali, and as much as the girls here would always be sisters to me, I knew Edward was missing his family and wanted to go back with them. I thought maybe we could come up with some arrangement eventually, like a custody arrangement, some time with his family each year and some time with mine.

My perfect month was shattered by the look on Edward's face now as he threw some basic clothes into a backpack for himself and I. I examined his aura and there wasn't an ounce of the gold colour of his desire for me, his aura was a colour I had never seen. It was black as night, he wanted to find something, someone who was missing. Just the sight of it was enough to freeze my muscles into place. I worked to gain enough control to ask, "Edward? What's wrong."

He said one word in a broken voice that pushed me into action, "Alice."

I was in the car in under a minute.

*****

-EPOV-

Bella and I had lived in Denali for a little over a month. We spent the majority of our days with her 'family'. The sisters and Carmen and Eleazar had taken her under their wing and welcomed her into their house completely. When I had asked to stay I had meant for a few days until things settled back at home, I hadn't actually realised just how much she had connected with them in such a short time. I understood though. I felt bonded to Carlisle, to all my family really, almost immediately on meeting them. The only exception was Rosalie, but we'd developed an easy truce over the years and now cared for each other deeply, despite being ready to rip each other to pieces sometimes. Even Alice and Jasper, despite scaring the hell out of my family when they first arrived, were completely integrated within a day.

The fact that my family had always been close to Tanya's family helped me to feel comfortable here and it meant they accepted me just as readily. I didn't quite have the depth of the connection with them that I felt with my family, but I spoke to at least one of my real family members daily so I was happy here. And I would remain here and be happy for as long as Bella wanted to. I could be happy almost anywhere if Bella was at my side.

Alice and Jasper were planning a trip up here in a little over a week's time. They missed Bella dearly, having been there for her from the beginning. Bella was truly loved whichever way you looked at it. I was looking forward to their visit. Of everyone in my family, I had missed Alice the most. Between her bubbly personality and the fact she was the other one who knew what it was like to be a freak it was almost impossible for me not to be close to her.

Bella and I hunted regularly, trying to saturate ourselves with animal blood and force that lifestyle back onto ourselves. I knew both sides of our family appreciated the effort we went to. They knew how easy it would be for us to become vengeful gods roaming the streets, drawing out men who had evil intentions and were glad we chose not to.

Since finding each other again, we found ourselves to be perfectly comfortable around each other. We would spend hours talking about what we'd done before we knew each other. I told her everything about my family, and our relationship with the coven here. She told me everything could remember about her parents, Charlie and Renee. I hated that I was the reason she would never see them again but she never blamed me. Other times we would just sit beside each other in perfect silence, neither of us feeling the need to fill the quiet with unnecessary chatter.

At night we divided our time exploring. Half the time we would explore each other keeping our hands and mouths busy for hours and the other half we would explore her ability and its control over mine. We spent hours practising turning my talent on and off. When we first started I needed physical contact with Bella as well as her guiding voice giving me assistance to turn my attention into her voice. Once I had her voice I could hold it for as long as I wanted to but when I let it go I was unable to call it back without her help again. Bella told me she could tell when I was listening to her or not. Apparently the tenure of my 'voice' changed for her when I was attuned to it.

We even risked a quick trip into Anchorage one night shortly after Rosalie had dropped off my Volvo. We didn't get out of the car - by staying locked up in the car we could avoid temptation. Once we were in the centre of town Bella had helped me switch from listening to my mind to listening with my soul and I found that all the other voices were gone. I sat in the car, grinning widely, enjoying the feeling of sitting in a public place with no voices worrying about what they needed to get at the shops, or partners cheating or any of the other frivolous concerns of the humans around us.

Over the next few weeks I learned to find the connection to Bella without physical contact but I still needed Bella to be close by and still needed her _voice_ to guide me in. In just the last day I had managed to find it a couple of times without Bella's help. So I had spent most of my morning trying to turn it on and off. I hoped I wasn't annoying Bella too much with my attempts.

I was in the garage tuning my Volvo, practicing turning my attention between the thoughts of the family and the voice of Bella. I finally felt I had it down and was relieved. Although my ability had come in handy on so many occasions there were times that it would have been nice to turn it off. Around my family for instance, there were many nights where I had to turn on music with loud thudding beats and screeching lyrics to try to block out the amorous thoughts of my family while they undertook their nightly pursuits with their partners. But even that never really helped drown out the thoughts because I was able to concentrate on too many things at once. I had wished many times over my vampire life that I was just normal like Emmett or Carlisle, and now I had that peace, almost. It was only Bella's voice that I could hear, but I was happy to listen to that forever so I didn't complain.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, I pulled it out and looked at the display, "Hi, Jasper." I figured he was calling with some arrangement for his trip.

A strangled cry answered me.

"Jasper? What's wrong?" Panic rose in me, Jasper was used to living in a battle zone. Almost nothing could upset him. In fact, I could only think of one thing that would.

Another cry which ended in a sob, "Alice... gone."

"What's wrong with Alice? What do you mean gone?"

Another pained howl came down the receiver at me. What was happening? I heard someone else grab the phone.

"Edward. Come home now. Alice's missing." I had never heard Emmett sound so serious but his words didn't make sense.

"What do you mean missing?"

"She went hunting with us last night, and now she's gone. We've followed her scent as far as we could but it became overwhelmed by another scent... near the treaty lines." I heard Jasper howling and a crack that sounded like a giant tree being snapped in two. "Carlisle has told us not to cross the lines until we know more about what happened to Alice. We need your _skills_. You are the only one who can help."

I gave a strangled cry. I couldn't process the information. How could Alice be missing? Even if someone had found her, how could they capture her with her visions? And how could she not escape? Unless...no I couldn't even think that.

I hated myself for ever wishing I didn't have my ability. If it helped find Alice I would listen to every inane human thought from now until the end of time. Despite the pain and confusing I felt I couldn't stop myself from considering the possibilities. The wolves were gone. We knew they were gone, that was the only reason we risked moving to Forks. We only stuck to the treaty lines because it was an agreement we made and we stuck to our agreements. Except for biting Bella, a small part of me thought, and the hunting I did after that.

I forced my thoughts in another direction. Surely it was just a coincidence that Alice disappeared near the treaty lines? Maybe it was another vampire that found her? I couldn't bear the next question that crossed my mind. If something, anything, had the ability to get around her visions and overwhelm her would she still be alive? And if by some miracle she was, for how long? That thought was all I needed to push me into action. I hung up on Emmett before answering him further. I disregarded the rest of the servicing on the Volvo, just put it back together as quickly as possible and ran back into the house.

"Bella!" I screamed as I ran up the stairs. "We're leaving."

I wasn't asking her to come with me - I knew she would. During our time here she had explained to me and the sisters exactly what Alice and Jasper meant to her. She saw them as her saviours, making her time burning that much easier.

"What? Why?" She asked. I could hear the concern in her voice.

I hastily threw some basic clothes for both of us a backpack. I knew I had plenty of clothes at home and I knew Alice had stocked up for Bella but I was working on the assumption that we might not go to the house, I had no idea what to expect so I would be prepared just in case. We would hunt until we found Alice. Something Bella saw, I don't know whether it was on my face or in my voice, made her freeze in place. Finally she managed to squeeze out, "Edward, what's wrong?"

I had to force myself to say the name of my dear sister who was now missing. And the worst part was I couldn't stop blaming myself. If I had been with my family I may have been on that trip and would have heard the thoughts of whoever, or whatever, had her.

No one stood in our way as we raced down the stairs and into the Volvo. We were on the road within three minutes of the phone call from Jasper.

The drive was tense. I explained everything I knew and suspected to Bella, except the wolves – I couldn't see how they would be the problem, not when they were gone. She was almost frantic when we stopped for fuel. She kept muttering, "If anything has happened to her, I'll never forgive myself for keeping you away from your family."

I rubbed her hand as I drove, my mind tuned to the road ahead, listening for thoughts nearby indicating any possible delays, accidents or speed traps so I could change course. I pushed the car to its limits in my haste to get back to Forks.

I didn't slow when I hit the town limits or even as I approached the driveway. I took the curving gravel path far faster than I ever had and pulled up roughly beside the house. I tore the car door open in my haste. The crash beside me confirmed that Bella hadn't waited for me to open her door. I felt her hand wrap around mine as we ran towards the house.

The atmosphere around the house was melancholy as if a wall of emotion surrounded it. Jasper must have lost control of his talent and was projecting his own grief out in every direction. I couldn't deal with his emotion on top of my own so I called out for Emmett as I pulled Bella towards the forest out the back of the house. Emmett raced out from the forest to meet us, obviously he couldn't stand to be around the house either.

"Through here," he called.

We followed Emmett through the bush. I couldn't explain my sense of urgency but I just knew I needed to keep moving. For Alice. I didn't know what would happen when I stopped. We hit the spot where Alice was last seen, it was about two miles on our side of the treaty line.

"What is that smell?" Bella asked, her nose wrinkling. I knew what she meant, the entire area was saturated in a hideous smell like mould and mushrooms and rot. It was the smell that had always run faintly down the treaty lines, washed out after so many years but this was fresh. It left no doubt in my mind – the wolves were back.

I held back the scream that threatened to escape. If the wolves were back, they may have found Alice. They may have suspected our hand in Bella's disappearance. After all, we may not have gone onto treaty lands, but I _had_ broken the treaty. I had killed a human, many in fact, but it all started with the brown-haired beauty whose hand I was holding. She was the first, she was the reason the treaty was broken and it was all my fault.

Bella recognised my despair easily and put her hand into my hair and pulled my forehead onto her shoulder. She didn't tell me it would be alright. She wasn't trying to comfort me with lies, she was merely letting me know she was there for me and would give me strength. I stood like that long enough to take a few deep breaths, filling my mind with her scent. Trying to draw comfort and strength from it. She would be my rock as long as I needed her to be. Then I would be hers. That was the way of our relationship.

I paced away from Bella and walked around in tight circles, breathing deeply of the horrid stench, trying to find the smallest hint of Alice's scent underneath. Some sense of the direction she was taken in. At the same time I allowed my mind to push out as far as possible, picking up any thoughts I could detect in the area. I got nothing. All I could smell was the horrid stench and Bella and Emmett's scents. All I could hear was Emmett. We were too far from the house for me to hear the rest of my family. I looked at Emmett, "I'm sure this has something to do with the wolves. Has there been anything to suggest they were coming back?"

Emmett shook his head, "Nothing. Although there have been reports of giant bears in the area."

"Wolves?" Bella asked.

"Werewolves."

"What?" Bella sounded like she was trying to reconcile her knowledge of the world with one that both vampires and werewolves existed. Of course the vampire part was much easier to accept, being one herself.

"Men who become wolves. There were some here when we lived near here many years ago. They were all gone so we came back."

"But what do they have to do with Alice?"

"I think they are the ones who took her," I growled.

"But why?"

I closed my eyes, I didn't want to tell her this because I knew she would find some way turn it around onto herself and feel responsible. Even though it was my fault. I was the one who didn't resist the call of her blood. "I can only assume they suspect the treaty is broken."

"Treaty?"

I looked into her eyes, "They agreed to leave us alone if we agreed to stay off their land and... to never bite another human."

She gasped.

I turned my eyes down in shame, whispering so quietly even Emmett wouldn't be able to hear, "I broke the treaty the day I met you. And now it is my fault Alice is gone." I lost my voice and my control on the last word.

I doubled over onto the ground, sobbing. It was my fault. Jasper wouldn't be able to live without Alice, she was his reason for being. And it was my fault she was gone. How would he react after he got over his grief? Would Jasper feel the need for vengeance? Would he take it out on me? Take away the one thing I can't live without. My breathing hitched at the thought of losing both Alice and Bella.

I couldn't see any way that Alice could possibly still be alive. She was already dead in my mind. And the thought of her lilting voice and her sunny personality being gone was a physical pain to me. I couldn't think of that tiny, annoying, pixie-like person being gone. But she was. Forever.

*****

-BPOV-

Edward was panicked. Sitting in a broken heap at my feet, sobbing into the ground. I had seen him like this before of course but I had been the cause then. Now, like then, his guilt was echoing out from every part of him. He needed to be soothed.

Emmett looked almost as lost. I could tell he was used to Edward being the decisive one. I think he'd thought that despite the state Edward had been in since meeting me this crisis would snap him back to normal, but the truth was none of his family really knew the 'normal' Edward. He'd kept so much hidden from them over the years, because of how much he loved them. It had taken what he'd done to me to break the tenuous hold he had on his facade. But that was stripped away now. Edward was vulnerable and scared, exactly as he had been in his journals. Of course that didn't make him weak, he was just a little fragile at the moment and I think that scared the hell out of Emmett.

I could tell, when he fell to the ground, sobbing, that he thought Alice was gone. He couldn't see how she could be alive and not have found some way back to his family. I think a small part of him had hoped that we would make the mercy dash from Denali and she would be there at his house waiting for us, telling us it was all a big misunderstanding. But now it had been almost two days since she was last seen and he was convinced she was dead. But I couldn't give up hope like that. I needed to cling to it like a life-preserver. If Edward was broken, I needed to be fixed. I would fall apart later, when Edward could be strong for me. And until I knew without a doubt that she was gone I would continue to look for her. After all, how would I have fared if she had given up on me. If I had woken in Charlie's house alone and thirsty. I shuddered at the thought. I know I had killed people who probably didn't need to die but, with the exception of the boy in the van, they had been evil people anyway. Alice had saved my father from being an innocent victim of mine. And I know I would never have forgiven myself if I had hurt Charlie.

"Let's go back and regroup?" I suggested. "We'll figure out some way forward."

Emmett looked in the direction of the treaty line as if he was dying to cross and go seek Alice out right now, but we needed to plan. The way Edward reacted told me these wolves were dangerous to us and we didn't know how many of them there were or what they were capable of. We needed some more information before we could decide how to proceed. And yet it felt like every second we wasted allowed Alice to slip further away.

I pulled Edward up from the ground. Once he was upright, I put my finger on his chin and raised his eyes to mine, "Don't give up hope. Not yet."

I felt him latch onto my voice. He obviously needed to feel my hope at the moment. But then it dropped again. He did this twice more.

"What is it?" I asked. He was obviously agitated and indecisive.

He eyed off Emmett who took the hint and ran back towards the house.

"What is it?" I asked again.

He clutched at my waist and leaned into me, "I need you. I need to _hear_ you. I need you to tell me that this will all be okay. But I'm worried. I need to hear Jasper's thoughts. What if he wants vengeance?" His voice dropped lower still, "What if he wants to hurt you?"

I shook my head. "He won't. He saved me."

"If I thought I lost you, I would do anything to hurt the person who was responsible. I'm responsible for this...for Alice... and losing you would hurt me."

"He won't," I repeated. "He knows that will hurt his family. And Alice - when we get her back."

"You can't seriously think she's still alive?" His voice was like shattered glass.

"I can't...I won't think of her as being gone." I pushed harder with my soul, calling him louder feeding him hope. I felt him latch onto my soul again which was good. I needed him to have hope.

"Please be careful?" He begged. I cupped his face and kissed him softly.

"We'll find her," I said. "One way or another. We won't rest until we know what happened."

He nodded and rested his forehead on mine for a second.

"Let's go," I said.

We ran back to the house. When we entered through the back door everyone's eyes darted to us quickly but then turned back to the ground. The despair was thick here I could feel it settling on me almost immediately. Carlisle and Esme, and Rosalie and Emmett were curled around themselves sobbing softly. I could hear Jasper up in his room, howling and screaming.

"I'm going to go speak to him," I whispered to Edward. I didn't know if being outside the family would help or not, but obviously his family hadn't been able to calm him down. Edward shook his head and clutched onto me, but he was still listening to my voice so I knew it wasn't a reaction to any thought of Jasper's. "Please let me try at least?"

I felt him release my voice and then he nodded softly, there mustn't have been any thoughts of vengeance in Jasper's mind. I heard him searching for me again so helped him find the link. The control he was showing yesterday was all but gone.

I walked up the stairs, trying to throw off the despair so that Jasper could feel my hope. If he couldn't shake off his emotions, at least enough to stop throwing it around onto everyone else we would never be able to get into action.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Alice!" Jasper called out as he ripped the door open. His aura was the deepest black – he desired his lost love. His face fell and he collapsed when he saw me. I sat next to him and wrapped my arm around his shoulder, rubbing it gently.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, "I just haven't felt hope like that since the first time I met Alice. I thought...I thought..." He lost control of his voice and turned his face into my chest. He clutched hard around my back and sobbed.

I rubbed his back with my hands, "I know, I want her back too."

He pulled back a little, "You really think there's a chance?"

"I don't know. I have to hope so but I promise, if there is any chance - we will find her."

"Really?"

"I promise I won't stop until we know one way or the other."

He sobbed again.

"I need you to do something though. I don't care if you stay up here until I bring her back through this door but please try to stop projecting all this out."

"I...I didn't even realise."

"I know. It's just...well, everyone is useless at the moment. If we have any chance of finding Alice we need to be able to think properly, to function properly. Can you do that for me?"

I felt him nod against me. "I'll try."

"That's all I can ask."

"Is Edward here too?"

"Yeah, did you want to see him?"

He shook his head, "Not like this. I'll come down soon."

"Okay Jazz," I held him for a little bit longer.

As I stood to leave I turned back to him, "I owe you and Alice so much. We'll find her."

He nodded and I turned to walk back down.

Now we just needed to figure out where to look.

**A/N – Wow, that chapter came together easier than the last one, hence why it is up so much quicker. **

**Happy New Year everyone! :)**


	17. Plans

**Chapter 17****: Plans**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

-BPOV-

I ran into Edward at the bottom of the stairs.

"Should I go up?" he asked me.

"No, he'll be down when he's ready. But he'll try to stop projecting." I felt drained, I wondered if I had used up my quota of hope. I couldn't think like that, I pulled Edward into my arms and used his scent and his voice to find new strength. We needed to plan. I released Edward, grabbing his hand as I did and pulled him back into the living room. The difference between the room now and when I passed through it earlier was marked. Then no one had even been able to function enough to greet Edward and I, but now they were all leaning forward over the coffee table, discussing the wolves. Just as I was entering the room I heard Carlisle was talking about the treaty with Ephraim Black from the Quileute reservation. My head shot up immediately.

"Black?" I said to myself. I searched through my human memories. That was familiar. Why? Then I remembered - my truck. Charlie had bought it from Billy Black his best friend. Charlie said he was an elder with the tribe. I met Edward's eyes and they held as many questions as my own.

There was silence for a second.

"Edward?" Carlisle asked out loud, he sounded confused.

"Huh?" Edward turned his eyes from mine to face Carlisle.

"What's wrong?" Carlisle's face was lined with concern.

I felt Edward release my voice. He shot a sideways glance at me, and bit his lip, embarrassed as if he had been caught in a compromised condition.

"Edward hadn't been using his talent much lately." I said, trying to sound nonchalant. I heard the gasps from all his family. Obviously Alice hadn't told them about that part of my talent, I had to hold back the sob that threatened in my chest just thinking her name.

"But how?"

"It's Bella. It's hard to explain but she can help me to hear her_. _When I listen to that, I can't hear anything else." Edward sounded almost ashamed, like he'd been caught cheating on a test. "But Emmett - I _can_ hear you now."

Carlisle still looked a little shocked but obviously decided to start getting in the habit of talking out loud to Edward, "I asked how much you had told Bella the story of the treaty."

Edward shook his head, "Not much. Just of its existence."

Carlisle turned to me, "Bella, the treaty was with the Quileute Indians. The werewolves are members of their tribe, in fact they usually form the tribal council. When we moved back here there were no wolves anymore. We still stayed to the treaty because we keep our word. Except..."

"Edward bit me and hunted those other humans," I said more calmly than I thought would have been possible under the circumstances.

Carlisle nodded seeming pleased I knew that much at least, "If they think the treaty has been violated they may have taken Alice for that reason." I noticed he said taken, not killed – I wondered whether he actually held out hope or just couldn't bring himself to say the word. I couldn't see anything in any of the aura's except the black of longing for lost love ones.

"We need to contact them," Esme said, "Maybe they'll let us know... what happened."

"But how?" Rosalie interjected. "If we cross the lines that'll be all the proof they need that we violated the treaty and they'll come after all of us. And we can't exactly look up werewolves in the phone book." The tone in her voice told me they'd already tried.

"We should just go there and wipe them out," Emmett growled. "If they've hurt one hair on that pixie's head." His growl lengthened and turned threatening.

"Emmett, we're not going to attack them without knowledge and cause. At the moment we only have suspicions and circumstance," Carlisle argued.

"We know that the wolves were at the place she disappeared, what more do we need to know."

"Whether she is still alive," I whispered. "There is a chance. But if they are holding her hostage someone and we go storming in there all guns blazing they will take her out."

"Be real, Bella," Rosalie snapped.

I ignored her and looked back at Carlisle, "You said Black?"

"Ephraim Black. He was the tribal chief when we were here last time - why?"

"Charlie is best friends with Billy Black, an elder from the reservation. I wonder if there is a relation? If so Charlie will have his phone number, they go fishing all the time. Or at least, they used to." It saddened me to think that I really knew nothing about what my father had been doing since I disappeared just over three months ago. Was he coping? Was Renee? I found thoughts of everything I had lost crashing into me. I buckled slightly under the emotional weight of it all and Edward was there, holding me upright, anticipating my need.

Rosalie rolled her eyes at me, "We can't exactly go knocking on your father's door and asking for the phone number."

"Well, no, but maybe it's time to try out the other part of my talent," I said vaguely, wondering if Edward would realise what I meant. He looked as confused as everyone else. "When Eleazar told me about being a genie, he explained that I could see desires, vampires most strongly but humans as well. He also said that as a genie..."

"You'd be invisible to humans if you wanted to be." Edward finished for me.

"Exactly. I'm not really sure how we can test it, but if it is true I can go into Charlie's house completely undetected and get the number." And hopefully check in on Charlie while I was there, I thought to myself.

"No," Edward said, his voice breaking a touch, "it's too risky." I could see how much he didn't want me to risk it.

"But Edward..."

"No," he said gently but forcefully, "you don't even know if you can do it but even if you can something is likely to slip if you see Charlie. Being that emotional could be enough to cancel out whatever you do. Besides, most of us can appear invisible to humans because of our speed – maybe that's all it means."

I quickly thought of another plan, "Well, maybe we can still use Charlie, but as bait of sorts."

Everyone's eyes shot straight to me.

"Not like that," I rolled my eyes, "Edward and I will go and lay fresh scents around his house and then a trail leading into the forest behind it. The next time Billy goes down there he will have someone with him to drive him down. I bet if the wolves are on notice he will be spending a lot of time with Charlie and they would send a wolf down with him."

I could see everyone running through the details in their mind.

"But why you and Edward?" asked Carlisle.

"Because I'm the reason the treaty was broken and Edward was the one who broke it. Maybe we can convince them to let Alice go." If she was even still alive.

I heard the shocked gasps as everyone heard the truth of my plan. I was going to exchange myself and Edward for Alice. They didn't know that I had a plan to ensure that it was only me that would end up in front of the wolves. I knew Edward would suffer without me in his life, but he would survive and I wouldn't allow him to pay for one small mistake.

"But what if she's already dead? You'd just be handing yourselves over on a silver platter," said Rosalie.

"I think if they were certain the treaty had been breached they would already be picking you off. With the mood Jasper has been creating around here, it wouldn't have been hard. Not to mention the time Edward and I spent alone in the forest earlier," it would have been easy for them to pick us off then, "I honestly think they have her somewhere and they are trying to gather evidence."

"On that logic why would they take _her_? And how – with her visions she should have seen them coming."

"Maybe the wolves are invisible to her, like I am supposed to be to humans? Without her gift she was without a doubt the easiest to grab of the three of you. I mean look at you and Jasper," I said, facing Emmett. "I know if I didn't know anything about the family Alice would be the one I would assume was the weakest just from her size."

I heard Edward's jaw snap shut next to me.

"We'll all go," Emmett said.

"No, if everyone is there they will think we mean to attack them. If we go with a smaller party they won't feel we are a threat to them."

"But you _won't_ be a threat to them, they'll wipe you both out as soon as look at you."

"You can't know that," I argued. "I still think if they just wanted to attack they would have done it by now, we just need to make sure we don't give them any reason."

"But you two walking up there and admitting the treaty is broken gives them reason."

"Yes it gives them a reason, but it also delivers the guilty party." Me. I was the one who called Edward into me.

I wondered what Edward was thinking about, his face was twisted into a mask of horror, but I could sense that he wanted us to do my plan, it would keep the rest of his family safe until they knew more.

"We can't let you do it," Esme said, "you've only just arrived home."

"We need to get Alice back," I argued, "and it's the only plan we've got. Unless anyone else has one?"

No one spoke.

"Okay then. Edward - are you alright with this?"

*****

-EPOV-

I listened to Bella's plan in horror. It wasn't the idea of luring the wolves using Charlie's house as bait - that part I actually thought was clever. Nor was it her seeming willingness to pass me to the wolves, after all I would have suggested that myself - I was the cause of this mess. If my sacrifice meant Alice and Bella could live on I would willingly make it a hundred times. No, what horrified me was that she intended to become part of the sacrifice. She intended to walk into the fire with me. My heart ached at the thought of it. I couldn't imagine a world were Bella no longer existed.

I still had my arms wrapped tightly around her, my head filled again with the thoughts of my family. I missed the quiet and comfort of listening to Bella's voice but right now I needed to be sharp, to remain on my game. I needed to focus. I thought about how embarrassed I felt being caught out by Carlisle before and Emmett calling me pussy-whipped when he found out Bella was the reason. They were so used to my ability it was second nature for them to think to me rather than talk to me. I shook my head gently, I needed to pull myself together. Bella needed me to be strong for her right now. And my family too. I couldn't risk falling apart any more than I already had. Not if I had a chance of rescuing Alice, and saving Bella before she became a casualty.

I tuned into my family's thoughts, Emmett wanted to go straight to La Push now - screw the consequences. Rosalie desperately wanted to believe Alice was still alive but just couldn't, Esme worried about losing Bella and I too, and Carlisle was looking calmly at the situation as it stood. And he saw that Bella was right, as it stood there was nothing else we could do. We had no other plans.

I realised Bella was still waiting on an answer to her question. Was I alright with her plan? No, absolutely not, but the real question was - is it the best option available to us? And the answer to that was obviously.

"Yes. And I think Bella and I should go alone to do this."

"Why?" Emmett challenged me _I think you'd be foolish just taking your girl. What if something happens to her? _

I shot him a dirty look, he was playing below the belt and he knew it. What he wanted was to be the one next to me when we confronted the wolves. But I knew what Bella was thinking, she was hoping to play on the friendship between her father and the elder. It might not work, in fact it might make things inextricably worse, but there was a chance it might help.

"Because Bella and I are the reason for all of this. And because she will hopefully be able to detect their desires," I looked over at Bella, "of course there are no guarantees about that if you are right about Alice. But between her talent and mine we will be able to predict the wolves better than anyone else. Hopefully we will be able to work out some sort of diplomatic solution."

Emmett scoffed and Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Please," Bella said gently, "Let us try. Give us twenty-four hours. If you haven't heard from us in that time... do what you need to."

Emmett was going to argue, I could hear him analysing multiple points of view, however before he could open his mouth Carlisle spoke. "Just be safe."

It was his permission. Emmett wouldn't try to overrule Carlisle now. Especially because Jasper would side with us because it was the plan that would get answers about Alice the quickest. That would mean Emmett was outnumbered, and he never picked a losing side. But that didn't stop him extending his hand and pointing his finger at me, "I'm starting the clock now, man."

I nodded, Bella looked as if she was ready to run straight away but I couldn't release her yet. I pulled her face to mine, meeting her eyes, "I promise I will keep you safe, can you promise the same thing?"

She nodded. She had promised me she would keep herself safe, that was all I needed to know. She must have understood on some level that I must be the one to make the ultimate sacrifice. I pulled her lips into mine and kissed her with every ounce of passion I had. If this was going to be our last kiss I wanted her to be able to remember it every day that she walked the earth. She returned it with such fervour I knew she was saying her goodbye too.

*****

-BPOV-

Edward had made me promise to keep him safe. I could do that. Whatever happened I would ensure I do everything possible to allow him and his family to leave unharmed. I poured all of my love into the kiss I gave Edward, saying goodbye in case we didn't get a chance later. I filled with such love and hope it was almost unbearable. I heard a groan and a sob from upstairs before a new melancholy settled over the house. Edward and my emotion must have been too much for Jasper. But it would work to our favour, if we could just get out of the house now everyone else would be too depressed to follow. Edward seemed to understand the same thing and released me. His eyes met mine and smouldered with love and regret before he grabbed my hand and we raced out of the house together.

We quickly agreed to run rather than take a car. It wouldn't take more than a few minutes and it meant that there would be nothing left behind if things went badly. We raced through the forest taking circuitous measures to avoid coming close to the houses that framed the forest until finally we broke out at the edge of the forest near Charlie's house. I almost fell to my knees when I saw the house. The emotions from before that much more powerful with a fresh reminder of my loss. Luckily Edward was there to catch me before I fell. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into him. I took deep breaths, filling my lungs and every part of my being with his scent. It was good that I had the opportunity to do this now, as soon as we reached the house, once night had settled more thoroughly, I wouldn't be able to breathe. I couldn't risk catching my father's scent and losing control.

Edward and I held each other while we watched the sun sink into the horizon. I couldn't think about the fact that this could be my last sunset. I just needed to concentrate on what needed to be done, what was still in front of us to achieve.

Finally the night was thick enough that Edward and I would not be seen from inside the house. We ran from our spot and circled the house a few times, before spending a couple of minutes sitting on the front steps, allowing our scents to permeate. Then we ran back into the forest to wait.

The waiting was the hardest part. I wanted nothing more than to take Edward into my arms and make love to him again and again until the sun came up. But we needed to be vigilant.

We _needed_ to be vigilant . But that didn't stop the gap between us narrowing every half hour. It didn't stop our hands starting to roam around one another's waists. It didn't stop me pulling his face into mine and capturing his lips with my mouth. Or pressing my tongue towards him, desperately seeking entrance. He sucked gently on my tongue before wrapping his own around it. We closed our eyes and after four hours of near-perfect vigilance lost our control and started to pull at each other's clothes. He gently slid my shirt off over the length of my arms before pressing his face into my chest, licking and kissing along my newly exposed skin. I felt him catch onto my voice as he pulled me tighter to him, burying his face into my chest. His hands worked their way around my back and unhooked my bra before sliding it off and throwing it on top of my shirt. He quickly pulled his own shirt off and pulled my body into his, pressing us tightly together. I wrapped my arms around him and reciprocated. But we could never get close enough. I couldn't press myself to him tight enough. Our hands were soon fumbling with the buttons and zips on our jeans and we stood as we slid them off in unison. He hitched my legs around his waist, pulling my body weight into him.

Then he pushed me into a tree, the pressure causing him to press tightly against all my intimate areas. I moaned with pleasure before he captured my mouth again to silence me. I growled lightly against him. He kissed me deeply, his hands running up and down the length of my sides, my excitement building, coils tightening in my stomach. I needed him. I wanted him to take every part of me, right here almost in the shadow of my father's house. I couldn't be sad for the life I lost – not when it brought me to him.

My fingers started to play just inside the waist of his boxers when a cough behind us alerted us to someone else's presence.

*****

-EPOV-

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I was so caught up in passion with Bella that I had done what I always did - picked up her voice to listen to it sing as we pleasured each other. But then I heard that cough. A damn cough to alert us to someone else's presence. I hadn't heard footsteps, I hadn't heard anything, I was too caught up in the moment, in my love. Bella would get me killed one day, but if it was while loving her at least I would die with a smile on my face.

Once I heard the cough, I thought of nothing else but getting Bella covered. What she had was for my eyes only. I grabbed her shirt and threw it at her, not even registering our guest yet. I had no idea who I was going to see, only that they were human – or at very least in human form.

I dropped Bella's voice and listened to the mind in front of me.

All I heard was confusion and rage with just a hint of sadness.

**A/N – Sorry this has taken so long to post I feel so horribly guilty it has been over 10 days since my last post – so I apologise a hundred times. But honestly I think this story enjoys giving me writer's block. I know where I want it to go but it just wants to meander its own way there. I think now that Teacher's pet is put to bed (and therefore is no longer screaming at me and taking up all my attention) the characters in this story just might start talking to me again. **

**Does anyone have any guesses on who the mystery interrupter is? I know but I'm not telling until the next chapter - gotta have something to keep you interested :) **

**I would love to promise that it won't be so long until my next post, but I can't make any guarantees. All I can promise is I will post it the second it is complete and the muse who inspired this story does seem to be talking to me again so who knows.**


	18. Busted!

**Chapter 18****: Busted!**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

-BPOV-

I was staring into my own eyes. My own chocolate eyes. He always shared my eyes. Except my eyes never contained so many conflicting emotions. Rage, sorrow, confusion.

I felt like a deer caught in headlights. I couldn't move. I was only vaguely aware of the fact that I was practically naked, with only a shirt clutched against my chest and a pair of panties protecting my virtue.

The man before me sputtered, his heart racing and slowing intermittently, his breaths ragged. He looked like he was staring at a ghost, which wasn't really far from the truth. I wanted to hide my eyes away, they were the first give-away of how different I was now. I knew they were no longer the vivid red of a newborn but neither were they quite the honey-gold of my family. More a ruddy orange colour. But either way they were definitely not the chocolate brown my father was used to. But I knew the light out here wasn't good enough for him to pick that up, or any of the hints that would tell him I wasn't his daughter anymore.

His face turned red, then purple, then white. I think he was as lost for words and confused as I was. I expected him to yell at me, to try to ground me and send me to my room. Instead he did the worst thing possible. He threw himself at me with reckless abandon. I held my breath as soon as I realised what he was planning but it was too late to shift away – I was too frozen. He held tightly to me, seeming to have forgotten about my near-nakedness for the moment. I couldn't return the hug, for a number of reasons, first I couldn't trust myself not to bite into his neck, where the luscious hot pulsing... second I couldn't shift my hands without moving the shirt and revealing all of me and third I didn't know if I would be able to handle having to walk away if I hugged him now. And I would need to walk away. I couldn't risk being in his life, not after knowing the taste of human blood, how sweet it was, or how it soothed the burn as it ran down my throat. The raging fire in my throat ripped to life again, even though it never really died it made its presence felt more in some moments. This was one of those moments. Even without the scent of his blood in my nose I could still taste it at the back of my throat. I longed for nothing more than to sink my teeth into the throbbing vein that was inches away.

I felt Edward kick me gently, I wondered how he could tell I was so close to losing control. I looked over to him, pleading with my eyes for assistance.

"Chief Swan?" He asked. He knew who it was, otherwise there would be no way he would allow the embrace that I was currently wrapped in.

Charlie turned on Edward with hate in his eyes and venom in his voice, "How _dare_ you address me." It was a low harsh whisper, I'd never heard anything like it come from my father's mouth. I could see who would take the blame for my disappearance.

"Dad, don't," I said, it was all I could say to diffuse the situation, I had no breath left and if I sucked in any air, even through my mouth, it would be too much for me to handle.

Edward looked at me and I pleaded with him silently again to get my father off me before I lost control.

"Chief Swan, I'm sorry for everything I have done. I take full responsibility, but can we please go inside and talk. At the very least Bella needs to get dressed."

Charlie jumped back as if he had been bitten by a snake. His face flushed bright red again and he turned on the spot, "Bells, I hope this means you have decided it's time to come home. I'll be waiting in the house for you." I could tell from his tone that he clearly meant Edward wasn't invited.

He was halfway back to the house when Edward handed me my bra. Before I had a chance to put it on I felt one hand snake around my waist. He reached the other hand behind my head, gently fisting a handful of hair, tugging my head so that it was raised to his and rested his forehead on mine.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I should have been paying more attention. If only I hadn't..."

I put my fingers onto his lips, "Don't... it's both our fault. I should have heard him coming out of the house too."

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, but I think we need to go and face the music in the house. Maybe once he sees how much I have changed he will..."

"What?"

I sighed, "I don't know."

Edward laughed one low hard chuckle, "Should I be concerned that he is putting his gun belt on?"

I laughed once despite myself, obviously Charlie saw that Edward meant to follow me.

After I had finished dressing I clutched onto Edward for a minute, breathing deeply. "How are we going to do this?" I asked.

He knew what I meant, we both had such a loose grip on our control at the moment it could be too much for either of us to be sitting in a confined room with Charlie and although we could hold our breath as much as possible we would be expected to talk and for that we would need air. Air tainted by the scent of warm, fresh blood.

"We'll have to watch out for each other. There are signs that you can see if you look closely. The pupils start to dialate, there is a pooling of excess venom in the mouth – which means more frequent swallowing, the muscles in your legs and arms start to tense – ready for the pounce. Watch for these signs on me and jump in between us if it gets too much."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"I know, and I don't want you to get hurt. But hurting Charlie will hurt you more than any bite or tear."

I nodded, he was right of course. Physical pain would disappear quickly but if I was responsible for Charlie's death. A shiver ran down my spine. Edward gave me one last quick squeeze and then grabbed my hand.

Together we walked towards our fate.

*****

-EPOV-

I could hear Charlie screaming at the world in his mind. He didn't understand why his daughter was here, she'd been missing for three months. I knew without a doubt that he blamed me for her disappearance and probably thought I was holding her captive and had her brainwashed or something. Little did he know she was the one who capture me so completely that I would never be sane again without her in my life.

I heard him thinking about how he thought she was dead. Apparently some of the Quileute boys found her truck deep in the forest a week ago. The Quileute boys said they had found evidence of a large predator around it. They hadn't told Charlie exactly what that evidence was but once I heard that I felt my feet stop. Bella looked at me with a confused expression on her face.

"The wolves found your truck," I whispered.

"So?"

"Alice was the one who moved it. They know she's involved in your disappearance."

She frowned. Then she pulled me forward again. She was right, we had to keep moving, we were already almost five hours into our twenty-four hour deadline. Although I hoped Carlisle would be able to convince Emmett to stay off Quileute land – we still didn't even know how many wolves there were.

We walked up the steps and knocked on the front door.

Charlie opened it, gave me a look of disgust and a rotten thought to go along with it, then turned to Bella, "You don't have to knock when it's your own house."

She closed her eyes and looked sad for a second, "It's not my house anymore."

He looked like she had slapped him, gave me another dirty look and a string of profanities in his mind, "Bells, I don't care where else you live, this will always be your house."

She kept her eyes closed and nodded, "Do you want us to come in or not?"

"Us? I wanted to talk to you alone." _He stole you from me and you expect me to let him in _my _house?_

"There is no alone for me anymore, dad. It's a package deal."

_What's happened to my daughter? _He bent close to her face, trying to stop me from hearing, but even without my mind reading I could hear him clearly, "What has he said to you that's got you so scared you can't even be alone with me?"

I noticed Bella wasn't breathing. She was swallowing convulsively. "Chief Swan?" I said, trying to pull his attention away from her so she could get a few mouthfuls of fresh air.

He stood and looked at me. _If you knew what was good for you punk, you would be out of here so fast. You stole my daughter from me, know she is broken and terrified and it's all your fucking fault._ He didn't say a word.

"Bella and I promise to explain as much as we possibly can, but it is best for you if you keep your distance from both of us. Our... self control isn't what it could be," I sighed, how else could I tell him to keep his distance?

_What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you trying to threaten me? On my own property? Don't you realise who I am? Who the fuck do you think you are?_

I heard his confusion as he tried to process my words. He threw open the door before turning and walking to the living room. I guided Bella inside, I could see how difficult this was for her. She was barely functioning, let alone form words. I sat quickly on the two seater lounge, not allowing Charlie an opportunity to claim it. I pulled Bella into my chest and heard her taking ragged breaths, breathing in my scent. I did the same and her scent filled me with warmth and hope.

I thought about the irony of this situation. Effectively she was introducing her father to her fiancé, for want of a better term, except in this case her fiancé was a monster who stole her life and could easily steal her father's too if I let my self control drop for a split second. I imagined how much different this scenario might have been if I'd been human when Bella and I met. I would say, "Hello Chief Swan" and he would say, "Call me Charlie." There would be no 'call me Charlie' today. No informalities, just an uncomfortable grilling.

Charlie sat in the single seat and stared at us wrapped in each other's arms. He took in Bella's body – the softness she used to have before her transformation has gone, she is muscled and well-toned. Her face was currently buried in my shoulder so he couldn't see her eyes. I was thankful that, as I wasn't a newborn, my eyes returned to their normal colouring much quicker than Bella's. Hers were currently a beautiful deep auburn but they definitely would give Charlie a scare.

I heard Charlie's thoughts as he tried multiple times to start up conversation. Each time he opened his mouth he closed it again just as quickly.

_Bella...why?_

_I've missed you..._

_Who is he? _

_What the hell is going on...._

_What the fuck..._

Around and around his thoughts chased each other. Bella looked just as lost. I would have to step up and lead this conversation, I just wish I knew how much Bella wanted to tell him. Obviously he couldn't know the complete truth, it would be too dangerous for him and us. But what explanations could we give? He wouldn't allow us to sweep it under the rug, the changes in her were too evident.

"Chief Swan, I'm not sure if you remember me. We have met on occasions before. I'm Edward Cullen."

His eyes narrowed - _Cullen. _His thoughts hissed with as much venom as his voice had. ._Billy told me to talk to the Cullen's about Bella. How did Billy know that the Cullen's had something to do with this? What the hell is going on here?_ "What the hell are you doing with my daughter," his voice was full of venom again.

"Bella's..." Bella's what – what could I say? Bella's a vampire who has been living in Alaska this last month, with me.

_Bella's what? What have you done to her? Why won't she let you go – why wouldn't she hug me. Oh god – don't tell me she's pregnant. _He stayed silent glaring at me, waiting for me to finish.

I froze. I completely froze. I couldn't answer him, I couldn't process his thoughts anymore. Bella needed me to be the strong one right now and I am completely choking.

"I left because Forks makes me unhappy," Bella said, "I'm sorry I never told you where I was going but I just had to leave." She raised her head slowly from my shoulder, gathering strength. He turned and looked in her eyes and gasped. He noticed the difference immediately but Bella kept talking, not allowing him to interrupt.

"Edward found me the day I left, sobbing in my truck. He tried to convince me to come back to you. I refused, I told him to butt out but he refused. He found me a place to live...with his cousins. Since then he has been calling me regularly to convince to come back home to see you but I wouldn't let him bring me back. Until now."

I felt my mouth gape for a few seconds before I got control of my face and snapped my jaw shut. Bella turned her face to mine, I could tell she was begging me to agree with her to follow her lie. I felt like a cad throwing her under the bus when this was my fault.

When Charlie's eyes turned to mine, his thoughts were in chaos, guilt over what he perceived to be his failing warring with his need to stay angry at me. I met his eye and held it, not allowing any emotion to show on my face. _Why the fuck is he so confident? _His hand instinctively felt for his gun, I knew he wouldn't use it and even if he did it wouldn't hurt me but the move had the desired effect. I dropped my eyes.

Bella started talking again, "Dad, it's nothing you did wrong. I promise you that. It's all on me. It's my fault."

I rubbed my hand on her back to show my support for her silently.

Finally Charlie's thoughts came together enough to put together a coherent sentence, "What _happened_ to you Bella?"

She kept her eyes level and didn't acknowledge his question.

"Bells, talk to me. You're different, very different."

"I don't know what you mean," she whispered.

"You're muscled and you're eyes are... I don't know orange. Your face is _different_," he hissed out the last word in disgust. His eyes flickered to my face and I could hear him mark the similarities between the two of us now. He'd never paid much attention to me and my family, never listened to the concerns Billy had whispered. Until now. I could hear in his thoughts his regret that he had ever defended us when Billy made the tribe boycott the hospital.

"Dad, I don't know what to tell you. In the last three months I _have_ changed. I've grown, and matured and am happy, truly happy, for the first time in my entire life. I know that is hard to for you to hear but it's true."

"But why? What did I do wrong?" He was staring at me again, trying to figure out how I brainwashed her.

"Nothing. That's the worst part, I didn't know how much I was missing, how unhappy I was until Edward..." she cut herself off short, about to be caught out in her lie.

He didn't miss it. I guess he didn't make chief of police for nothing. His eyes narrowed at me, "Until Edward what?"

She sighed, god how I wished what was going through her head sometimes. I knew I could pick up her voice but it would only tell me what her heart and soul were whispering to me, not what was running through her mind. "Until Edward spoke to me, until he found me in my truck. Then I knew I had found my home." She smiled at me.

My stomach curled as I thought about her words, and I read the sincerity in her eyes. If that's the way she felt, how would she cope when I handed myself to the wolves for Alice's benefit and for her benefit? I wrapped my arm around her tighter. She seemed to sense my need, she raised her hand to my face. Her left hand.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

*****

-BPOV-

I honestly had no idea how to recognise the sounds of a heart attack. But as I listened I heard Charlie's blood pumping faster, his heart beating erratically. I panicked about him. His face was a strange shade of puce.

I didn't understand at first what had happened. I raised my hand to comfort Edward, gently running my fingers along his cheek. He seemed to be worried and I wanted to comfort him. That was when Charlie's heart started to splutter. It took me a second to connect the new look on Edward's face, Charlie's heart and my hand. My left hand. The one that was wearing Edward's mother's ring.

"Dad? Dad... calm down."

"Are you _pregnant_?" He screamed at me.

"What? No!" I couldn't tell him that I'd never have kids - it was impossible for me now. In some ways what Edward did to me was much much worse than some teen pregnancy. Not that I would complain about it now.

"Then what is happening here? Please tell me. I need to know. I don't understand any of this." I didn't miss the fact that although he was addressing me his eyes rarely left Edward. He was shooting daggers at him the entire time. "You say he convinced you to come home – but you didn't come home. You were sneaking around in the bushes..." his face turned a deeper purple as his voice choked off.

"We didn't think it would be appropriate to come in at this late hour."

"But it was fine to... to... _in my backyard_."

"I'm sorry, sir," Edward said, his voice polite and calm again, "this isn't the way I would have liked to have been introduced to you. Or for you to find out about Bella and I."

I snapped my head to the window and I felt Edward stiffen underneath me. He'd heard the same thing I had. Paws padding through the forest out the back. Then howling.

Charlie seemed to notice the shift in our attention, it actually helped to calm him a little somehow as confusion took over as the dominant emotion.

The howling cut off.

Charlie continued to flick his eyes between us and the window, wondering what had caught our attention.

"What is it?" Charlie snapped.

"Nothing, I just thought..." I cut off. I didn't want him to go outside yet. "It's nothing."

"Bella?"

"I just thought I heard something outside, but it was nothing."

We settled into an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Charlie continued to glare between Edward and I. I wondered what he was thinking, but then figured I probably didn't want to know. Especially if the look on Edward's face was any indication.

We heard footsteps coming from the forest, human footsteps. And there was a car drawing closer to the house. I grabbed Edward's hand and took a deep breath. One way or another we would be meeting a wolf soon. The footsteps stopped and waited for the car. Edward and I hissed low under our breath into each other's ears, even if the wolves had hearing like ours they would never hear our discussion.

"Should we go and meet outside or wait here?" I said.

Edward tuned into the thoughts of the wolf, "They know we're here. But not exactly who we are. They think Charlie is dead."

I growled that they thought so little of me, but then they didn't even know it was me, "What do you think though wait or go?"

"If we wait until they are inside it is less likely to become confrontational immediately, they will be as interested in keeping their secret as we are of keeping ours. But Charlie could get hurt if anything happened."

Despite how quickly we conversed the decision was taken out of our hands because Charlie heard the car out front and went to investigate. The only way we would beat him would be to use our supernatural speed and that would just bring up a fresh round of questioning. I closed my eyes and pulled myself tightly into Edward again. The front door opened. I listened to the conversation.

"Billy?" Charlie said, he sounded confused. I guess it was after eleven, not really the time for a social visit.

"Charlie," said a deep voice which brought back memories of fishing trips.

I heard a wheelchair click over the threshold.

"What are you doing here so late?" Charlie asked.

"Sorry, I was passing by and saw the lights on. I just wanted to stop by and see if you'd heard anything... about Bella?"

"Actually, Billy, Bella's here."

"What?" Billy's deep voice sounded full of confusion now.

"She's turned up again," Charlie lowered his voice, trying to avoid us hearing him, "With one of the Cullen's."

Damn it! I didn't want him to tell Billy that – not yet. I heard the sharp intake of breath from Billy and someone else. I wondered who the second person might be. I couldn't smell any wolves in the house, not really, only a very faint hint – not that I was breathing too deeply or trying to concentrate on the scents. I just knew that they smelled appetizing still, not at all like the stench near where Alice was taken.

The wheels were coming closer, another few feet and we would be in their sight. I wondered if maybe there was a chance Billy didn't really know or wouldn't be able to tell what I really was. But if I had hoped that would be the case it was shattered about a second later. The look on his face told me he knew. He knew _everything._

**A/N – Those who guessed Charlie were right. I did think about Jacob springing them but he couldn't for one main reason – which will be explained in the next chapter (cue cliffhanger music) :P **

**Just letting everyone know there is a poll about teacher's pet on my profile – about whether I should write it again from Edward's POV, if you read that story & enjoyed it mosey on in & give you opinion on what you think I should do. If I do rewrite I won't let it interfere with this story (at least not anymore than any other stories will – my muses will do as they like after all)**


	19. Wolf business

**Chapter 19****: Wolf business**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

_**A/N – Please do not throw your computers away – no hurling laptops across rooms as you read this chapter. All will be revealed below & you will understand what I mean once you get to the end. **_

-BPOV-

Billy glared at me and I stared back at him unwaveringly. He wasn't a direct threat to me – that was the wolf that I could hear padding around outside again. I wasn't overly concerned about the young boy who stood behind Billy either. Charlie seemed confused about the tense atmosphere that had filled the house.

"Billy, you remember Bella?" He said. Billy just gave one curt nod in response, "Bella, this is Billy Black and his son Jacob. They're the ones I got your truck off remember."

I nodded once in response. Charlie's words got me thinking about Jacob. I should probably recognise him. I'd spent enough years with his family when I was younger and I spent summers in Forks. I remembered his sisters, Rebecca and Rachael – their names sprung to my mind as soon as I tried to remember them, but I couldn't place Jacob.

I spared him a glance. His long hair fell in curtains around his face, he looked older than he probably should, almost older than me, even though he had to be the youngest of the family for me not to remember him. He was very well muscled, as big as Emmett – maybe bigger.

"It's nice seeing you again, Bella," he smiled when he saw my eyes on him, "I think the last time was when I was like five or something."

I nodded, "Nice to meet you too."

Jacob went to move forward, whether to shake my hand or give me a hug I wasn't sure but Billy's hand shot out and blocked his path. Jacob looked at his father liked he'd gone crazy and then shot me an apologetic smile. I felt a small smile form on my lips involuntarily. Jacob seemed like the sort of person it would have been easy to be friends with, now I just had to make sure I didn't kill him. The air in the house was becoming so thick with the scent of blood it was overpowering. I felt Edward tensed beside me, confirming he had noticed too.

"Dad, we're just going to go outside for a minute," I said, looking at Charlie. I pulled Edward to his feet and was halfway to the door before I finished talking.

Billy shifted his wheelchair between us and the door, his eyes staring daggers at us.

"Please," I whispered, "I promise we won't go anywhere, it's just the scent in here is... overwhelming. We need some fresh air."

Billy seemed to consider my words, his eyes narrowed.

"Please," I whispered again, my tone pleading. I didn't want to be the reason for the death of any of the men in this room.

He turned his wheelchair on the spot and rolled back out the front door without saying a word. Charlie was getting upset by his attitude, "Billy, what's going on. Why are you being so..."

"Dad, don't worry about it," I cut in. I didn't want trouble between these two on my account. I was trying desperately to get a read on what Billy wanted but I just didn't seem to be able to. His aura kept shifting colours and I didn't know whether it was because he was conflicted or because he was from the wolf linage. I looked at Charlie, his desire was clear – lost love. I recognised the colour from the Cullen's although his was weaker because he had found his lost love - me. Now he just wanted me to stay. And as much as I hated to disappoint him I knew I couldn't. Even if it wasn't for the whole vampire thing, I enjoyed living with Edward, and all the benefits of that, far too much.

As we followed Billy's wheelchair I heard the footfalls of the wolf retreating further back into the forest, out of sight but still within a distance that he could help Billy at a moment's notice. I pulled Edward into me and whispered softly into his ear, "Does the boy know?"

He shook his head before leaning back into me, "He has been told the legends but he doesn't believe them. He has no idea about the wolf."

I nodded. Two innocent bystanders. Hopefully that would be enough to keep the wolf at bay. Billy stationed his wheelchair at the entrance to the veranda, blocking the exit that way, not that it was necessary, jumping over the railing would hardly constitute a challenge for Edward and I if we were determined to leave. We moved so we were standing upwind of everyone so their scents weren't invading our minds.

"Mr Black?" Edward asked respectfully, Billy's wide-eyes shot up to him, "My sister was passing by La Push the other day. Small, pixie-like thing with black hair. I was wondering if you saw her at all?"

"Some of the boys did tell me about a girl hiking on her own, she's gone now though."

Charlie looked confused at the conversation.

I turned the words over in my head... _she's gone now._ There was no way to misinterpret those words. She was gone. Alice - dainty, beautiful, caring...and gone. I wanted to scream at the world. How could such a beacon for goodness be gone? And at the hands of people who are supposed to be protectors?

I pressed my face into Edward. I couldn't understand how he didn't collapse into a heap. How were we both still standing when this was the news we had to deal with. I pulled back to look at Edward's face and his aura. I was confused. How could he be so...joyful after receiving this news. I caught his eyes and gave him a quizzical look. He shook his head slightly. I wanted to talk to him but I knew he would never speak so long as Jacob and Charlie were nearby.

"Dad, why don't you get drinks for everyone?" I suggested.

Billy scoffed at me, but then must have seen something on either mine or Edward's face because he said, "Jacob, why don't you help Charlie?"

Jacob grumbled but followed Charlie into the house. As soon as they were out of human hearing range Edward looked straight to Billy, "I know where she is, and how many are holding her. There are still seven other capable vampires that I could have attack within minutes."

I didn't understand Edward's words, why was he negotiating over a dead girl. Unless...

Billy narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to speak but Edward spoke over him.

"But I don't want a war with you. Nor will my family. I do acknowledge the treaty has been broken. I'm not even going to try to deny it, the evidence is right in front of you. However, you have a choice. You can bring war down on your tribe over it or you can promise to leave the rest of my family alone and you can have the transgressor."

Billy seemed to consider it for a few minutes. Then he called softly into the woods, "Sam."

A slight sucking noise filled the air and seconds later a young man jogged out of the forest, wearing nothing but some cut off jeans.

"What's in it for us, _bloodsucker_?" Sam whispered as he came near. At least he seemed to be conscious of the potential for listening ears nearby.

"You have a total of three wolves. We have eight in total. Do the math – the odds are not in your favour." Edward's voice was cold and calculating.

"Your _family_ will come after us anyone if we punish the guilty party."

"No, they won't. I give you my word."

Sam scoffed, "The word of a _bloodsucker_ what's that worth? Especially considering you couldn't even keep to the treaty."

"What are your other choices?"

Sam seemed to consider that question. The way Edward put it there did seem to be only two choices, accept his terms or declare war. Before Sam could answer Jacob and Charlie's footsteps started to move closer.

"Charlie and Jacob are coming back," Edward hissed, effectively ending the conversation because Sam darted back to the tree-line.

I turned to Edward and hissed at him, "What was that about? Is Alice..."

"She's alive." He beamed at me, "She's not at La Push. There are two wolves guarding her in the forest, near our stream in fact. They've told her that they have a bigger pack ready to attack our family at a moment's notice if she tries to leave."

"And we're handing ourselves over to them in exchange for her?"

He narrowed his eyes at me, "Something like that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked but I noticed Billy's eyes on us and Jacob was staring at us intensely as well. So Edward didn't respond.

Edward looked at me for a few seconds, I wasn't sure what he was trying to decide but he finally said, "Bella, why don't you go inside and talk to Charlie alone for a while. You two have some things to discuss."

I wondered for a minute if he'd gone crazy but the way he was looking between Billy and the forest and the colour of his aura all told me he wanted to continue the conversation without interruption. So I would be his distraction for the humans. I just hoped I could hold it together enough not to kill him. I nodded, if Edward trusted me to do this he obviously he thought I could. "Jacob, why don't you come in too – we've got lot's to catch up on."

Billy seemed positively panicked now. Both Charlie and Jacob inside with a newborn vampire. He knew how volatile the situation was, but he couldn't risk raising Charlie's suspicion.

Jacob seemed confused why I was inviting him in, but seemed anxious to get away from his father's strange mood so followed behind Charlie.

I sat back on the couch and Charlie sat next to me. We were silent for a few minutes, Jacob stood behind the chair, looking uncomfortable, his eyes flicking between Charlie and I and the door, as if he was debating which atmosphere was worse.

"Where have you been, Bells?" he asked.

'In Alaska. I really am sorry, Dad. Things just happened so fast and I lost control for a while, but since Edward has been helping me things have become better."

"Why have you changed so much since meeting Edward?"

"It's just something that happened. I don't know how to explain it. I've got a different diet now and I'm exercising more, running." I didn't want to lie to him and I hoped the half-truths would be enough to satisfy him.

Charlie grabbed my hand but dropped it again almost instantly, "You're so...cold."

I dropped my eyes, staring at my offending hand.

I heard a small gasp from Jacob, and he tilted his head as if a few different things were clicking into place. The air around him became super-heated. I heard a ripping sound and the front door flying open simultaneously. Then there was a loud crash. The air was filled with the remnants of someone's clothes. And in the space where Jacob used to be there was nothing.

*****

-EPOV-

Billy was being so careful trying to make us think that Alice was gone. But as he said the words he thought of a conversation he had with Sam, the alpha of the pack, about finding Alice in the forest and taking advantage of the situation, cornering her with the three wolves. Convincing her that they had a pack large enough to take down the family if she tried to escape. I couldn't help the relief I felt when I heard that. It meant she was alive. There was a chance we could bring her back to the family.

I was still resolute to pass myself, and only myself, to the wolves if it meant Bella and Alice would both be safe. I just wasn't sure how Bella would react when it came time for me to leave her.

Charlie and Jacob were back now but I wanted answers for my family so, after assessing Bella's level of hunger, I asked her to take them back inside. As soon as the front door closed Sam came jogging back up from the forest.

"What do you say Billy?" I asked.

Sam answered, "Who is the one who broke the treaty?"

"Can you honestly not guess?"

"Oh, I can guess alright. I just want _you_ to say the words, bloodsucker."

I hung my head in shame, "I did. Bella's blood sang to me in a way none other ever had before. I tried to stay away, I wanted to run, but I...I couldn't."

"Why did you come back here?" Billy asked.

"I hoped that Alice would still be alive. I didn't want her to pay for my mistake."

"But she was involved, her scent was all over the truck."

"She was involved after the fact," my voice was broken, I didn't understand why I was telling all these intimate details to my enemy but I wanted them to understand that Alice was never the threat, "After I... bit Bella, I stopped. I don't know why but I couldn't finish her off, it was as if the mere thought of doing it was too painful for me. Even then part of me know that I needed her in my life. I ran from the house disgusted with myself, not even thinking about the fact that Bella was alive, but that she was transforming. Alice saw what happened and found Bella, taking her away so she wouldn't harm Charlie or any other human when she woke."

"So Bella has never tasted human blood?"

I saw the memory of her in Port Angeles pass through my mind, her mouth over the neck of those men. And of our hunt together and how seductive the dark angel had been, "No. Never."

"And you will hand yourself willingly to us for whatever punishment we deem fit."

I nodded, "I'll do anything to keep Bella safe, and Alice. That's my one clause. I will tell my family not to avenge me, I am sure they will listen to me, but I will tell them that if Bella is harmed in any way to wipe your entire tribe off the face of the earth."

Billy gasped at the intensity of my threat.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "As I said, I don't want that. But Bella means _that_ much to me."

Billy and Sam shared a look and I saw Billy nod slightly to Sam.

Sam turned to me, "We agree to your terms but we have one condition of our own."

"Which is?" I asked but I didn't hear his answer. Because at that second Jacob's mind clicked everything into place, why Bella looked different, why she was with me, why she was so cold. I heard him start to lose control, he couldn't understand what was happening. But I recognised a shift in his brain from human to slightly animalistic. I'd just felt the same thing when Sam ran into the forest before. Jacob may not have been a wolf when he came here tonight but he would be any instant. I threw open the front door just in time to see him expand to be just big enough to start breaking his clothes.

It was as if everything slowed down and fractions of a second lasted for minutes. I could see every shift, every change in his muscles. He was too close to Bella, too close to Charlie. One of them would get hurt. I charged at him, forcing myself into his body. My momentum pushed us towards the kitchen, turning end over end. I felt the kitchen table crash out of our path. We rolled into the wall. I felt my skin tearing as his claws burst to the surface under me. I screamed out in pain. We tumbled again and again until we came to a rest against the back wall of the house, leaving a gaping hole in the dry-wall.

We settled with him on top of me, his claws buried deep in my shoulders. His lips pulled up in a snarl, his teeth bared and at my throat. I vaguely wondered if this would be the end for me. At least Bella was safe.

*****

-BPOV-

I followed closely behind the twirling ball of clothes and erupting fur that was Edward and Jacob. The crashed loudly through the house, destroying furniture as they passed. I heard Edward's pained scream and my heart fell. He had to be alright. He just had to be. Finally the two of them came to rest against the back wall of the house, next to the back door. Jacob was huge, filling a large part of the kitchen. He had Edward pinned underneath him, his claws buried deep in Edward's shoulders. His hackles were raised and a snarl ran through him. I saw red. I didn't care about anything else but getting Edward away from those teeth and claws. I charged at Jacob, grabbing fistfuls of his fur and pulled him off Edward, roughly throwing him across the kitchen. I wheeled around, crouched low in front of Edward. I saw murderous rage in the eyes of the wolf.

I lost my first life here in this kitchen. I guess it was only fitting if I lost my second here as well.


	20. Deal Breaker

**Chapter 20****: Deal breaker**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

**A/N – Sorry for the big cliffy last chapter. But it was just too perfect a place to end the chapter ;) **

-BPOV-

I issued a deep guttural growl at the wolf, letting him know that I would not back down. He snarled back at me. As I got ready to launch my attack two voices pulled me from my rage.

"Bella? What the hell!" Charlie's worried voice shouted.

"Jacob. No!" Billy screamed at the same time.

The wolf and I flicked our heads around to our respective fathers. Then arms pulled me backwards and Edward was in front of me. He was panting through the pain of his injuries, but they were already starting to heal.

"No, Edward... you're hurt," I said to him.

"Bella – you promised."

"Yes, I promised to keep you safe."

"No, you promised to keep _you_ safe. That's all that matters to me."

I wrapped my arms around him, spinning him into me. I completely forgot about the immediate danger as I read his aura and heard his desire. I'd seen a trace of it before but nothing this strong. He wanted to sacrifice himself for me. "No, Edward, you can't. I can take any physical pain – I cannot lose you."

My head spun at the mere concept of losing him again.

I heard Billy's voice as if it was speaking from underwater. "Sam, get Jacob out of here. Use whatever authority you have to."

I turned to see the russet-brown wolf that used to be Jacob fall to the ground whimpering. His legs shaking as if he was trying to stand again. He howled into the air before darting past Edward and I out the back door, taking a chunk of the door frame with him.

Billy spoke again, "Deals off, Edward."

What?

-Jacob POV-

Tonight had to go down as one of the most mentally mind-fucked nights of my entire life. I was fast asleep, dreaming of forests flying past under my feet and hearing wolves howling, when my father wheeled himself into my room, shouting about how he needed to go to Forks that instant.

"Why?" I asked, trying to shake the sleep from my mind.

"I just need to visit Charlie. Now. I... I forgot to give him something earlier."

"And it can't wait until morning?" I looked at the clock, it was just before eleven. I'd only been asleep for an hour. By the time we got to Forks it would be after eleven. Not really a good time of night for a social visit.

"No, it's got something to do with Bella."

That got my attention. I knew how much Charlie had been suffering since his only daughter went missing three months ago. She arrived in Forks one weekend, went to school on the Monday and then was gone. No one had heard from her since. At least until a week ago, when Sam and his precious 'protectors' had found her truck in the middle of the forest. I didn't even know the old beast of a machine had the capability of going off-road so needless to say I was stunned. They said a predator had been in the truck and they didn't hold out much hope for Bella. But they wouldn't say whether it was a bear or a mountain lion or what it was. I snuck out one night and found where they had hidden the truck after finding it and couldn't understand what they were talking about. It smelled sickeningly sweet and cool, like plunging you head into a bucket of bleach or something, but there was no blood, no damage to the seats or doors. Nothing to indicate an attack of any sort.

I remembered Bella from my childhood, although by rights I probably shouldn't. The last time I'd seen her I was only very young, four or five. She was a few years older than me and spent much more time around my older sisters whenever Charlie and Billy forced us together. But I was looking forward to her moving in with Charlie because I remembered we used to talk so easily, at least we did, whenever she wasn't shouting at me about being an annoying little boy. And I hoped that her arrival would mean I had someone to close to my own age to talk to whenever I drove Billy to Charlie's house.

So I dragged myself out of bed, slide a shirt on and started the truck we were borrowing until my VW Rabbit was done, leaving the heater running. I didn't find the nights cool at the moment but Billy bitched and moaned if I didn't have the heater running in the car. I went into the house and helped Billy out and into the passenger seat. Then I folded his chair up and threw it in the truck bed.

I drove down to Forks, sticking carefully to the speed limit. I loved to go faster but it usually drew looks of disapproval and a lecture on the responsibility of safe driving from Billy. The perils of being best friends with a cop I guess. But tonight Billy looked anxiously from the clock to the speedo.

"Can't you go any faster?" He snapped.

"I'm on the speed limit now." But I put my foot down anyway – you didn't have to ask me twice. It wasn't long before I was pushing eighty and Billy didn't say a word. Weird.

I drove straight to Charlie's house. Despite his desire to come down so quickly he told me to pull around to the side of the house rather than into our usual spot in the driveway. I walked around to get his chair out. I was startled when Sam walked up behind me. But he didn't seem surprised to see us here. He gave me that expectant look he always did, god that look pissed me off. But then he seemed anxious to speak to Billy, helping him out of the car while I stepped back and watched.

"What's the story?" Billy said.

"There's definitely two. I can smell them but I haven't seen them yet. They've gone into the house."

I saw my father's eyes narrow. "I'm going in, keep an ear out just in case."

"Are you sure..." Sam started but Billy cut him off with a look. Then he waved me over to push his chair.

Just as we reached the stoop the door opened and Charlie stood looking at us with confusion on his face. "Billy?"

"Charlie," my father replied. His face was just as shocked. Almost as if he hadn't expected him to be here, but we were at his house. Charlie opened the door a little wider to allow us past and into the house.

"What are you going here so late?" Charlie asked.

"Sorry, I was passing by and saw the lights on. I just wanted to stop by and see if you'd heard anything... about Bella?"

I was confused by Billy's statement and question. It was the opposite of what he told me when he woke me up. Wasn't it. Maybe I was just too tired I heard him wrong.

"Actually, Billy, Bella's here." My head shot up to Charlie's face. But he didn't seem as pleased as I thought he would have been.

"What?" Billy's sounded even more confused now.

"She's turned up again," Charlie lowered his voice to speak to just Billy, "With one of the Cullen's."

Billy and I gasped, although I felt that his sounded more horror-struck than surprised. Then again, he always seemed to believe the stories of the 'cold-ones'. Blood-drinkers. Vampires - talk about superstitious. He even boycotted the hospital when he found out the father worked up there.

I pushed Billy towards the living room. He held up his to still me as soon as we had rounded the corner. I saw Bella. Boy had she changed in the last eleven years. Wow. She was very pale, but her hair was a deep chestnut brown and captured and threw the light around the room, her face was so refined and absolutely stunning. I wondered how Charlie had produced such an exquisite beauty. She looked tired, with purple circles under her eyes, and was in desperate need of some sun. But despite all of that she was gorgeous. But the boy sitting beside her was just as good-looking. I knew about the Cullen's of course. Good-looking and rich. As if having one or the other wasn't enough.

The atmosphere in the room grew thick as Bella stared hard at Billy. She hadn't even looked at me, not that I really expected her to. I was used to being an extension of Billy's wheelchair, he was the one whose very presence demanded respect and attention, the mark of his heritage as descendant of the chiefs of our tribe.

"Billy, you remember Bella?" Charlie said.

Billy just gave one curt nod in response, his face not turning an inch from Bella's.

"Bella, this is Billy Black and his son Jacob. They're the ones I got your truck off remember."

She nodded once as well. A second later her eyes flicked up to me.

"It's nice seeing you again, Bella," I smiled at her, "I think the last time was when I was like five or something."

She nodded and spoke. Her voice was like silk-wrapped bells, "Nice to meet you too."

I went to greet her properly, the way an old family friend should be greeted - with a hug. But as soon as I stepped in her direction Billy's hand shot out from her wheelchair and blocked my path. Things just kept getting stranger. I looked at Billy to see what his problem was but he still hadn't shifted his eyes off Bella. It was almost like he expected her to go crazy and attack everyone in the house. I would have laughed at the thought if it wasn't such a strange atmosphere. I gave Bella a smile in the way of an apology. She smiled back slightly in response, just a slight twitch at the corner of her mouth, but it softened her features and made her even more beautiful.

The boy beside her, I knew it was one of the Cullen's but I had no idea which one, was watching me intently, his jaw was tightly welded shut, teeth tightly clenched as if he was in pain.

"Dad, we're just going to go outside for a minute," Bella spoke again in her silken voice. She clasped the boys hand and I noticed a ring adorning her left hand. I felt my eyebrow raise involuntarily. I wondered whether there was some shotgun wedding secret here. Is that why everything was so tense. I was so distracted with those thoughts I didn't notice Billy move himself into their path. I saw the look on Billy's face and I had no idea where it had come from. There was poorly concealed rage there. Then again he had witnessed his friend go through three months of heartache and Bella didn't seem to be offering any explanations.

"Please," she whispered to him, "I promise we won't go anywhere, it's just the scent in here is... overwhelming. We need some fresh air."

Billy just narrowed his eyes further in response. I felt like asking what his fucking problem was, she only wanted fresh air. I mean the atmosphere in this house was nuts.

"Please," She whispered again, her tone pleading and her eyes imploring. I noticed the colour of her eyes then. Weird, I'd never seen burnt orange iris's before. Perhaps she had contacts.

Billy turned his own chair around on the spot and led them outside. Weird.

Charlie had noticed my father's strange behaviour too, "Billy, what's going on. Why are you being so..."

Of all people Bella leapt to his defence, "Dad, don't worry about it."

I heard Bella and the boy whispering something to each other but I was polite enough not to listen. Bella seemed to move around a little bit until she was happy with where they were standing, although how it was different from the other places she'd stood. Except now a horrific smell filled the air, similar to the one that was around Bella's truck. Maybe it was a perfume she liked, although why anyone would willingly put that scent on them was beyond me.

"Mr Black?" The boy asked. His voice was like velvet and I thought he actually sounded very respectful, "My sister was passing by La Push the other day. Small, pixie-like thing with black hair. I was wondering if you saw her at all?"

What an odd question. Surely he knew how many visitors came to La Push, and how big the reservation is. And the fact that his family aren't allowed done there because of the superstitious elders.

Billy seemed to understand what he was asking though, "Some of the boys did tell me about a girl hiking on her own, she's gone now though."

Bella turned into the boy with her and seemed to fall against him. But the boy's face lit up. He seemed a completely different person from who he had been inside. Bella pulled back and looked at the boy's face, studying something and the look of horror one her face seemed to fade to one of confusion. She turned to Charlie, "Dad, why don't you get drinks for everyone?"

I heard Billy scoff at something, but then he said, without looking at me, "Jacob, why don't you help Charlie?"

I grumbled under my breath, just a few choice words that I'd picked up but followed Charlie into the house. It's not like there was anything happening out here anyway.

"Charlie, what's going on here?" I asked as we walked into the kitchen.

"Honestly, Jake, I wouldn't have a clue." He looked tired, "I thought it would be better when she got home you know, but she's just so different now."

"What do you mean different?"

He showed me a photo of her, "This is from just before she moved up from Phoenix. It's about five months old I guess."

The difference was shocking. Her eyes were a chocolate brown and her face, while still beautiful, was more natural looking. She looked like the a-typical girl next door, not a bikini model like now.

"How'd she change so much in such a short time?" I asked.

"That's what I'm trying to find out." He pulled two beers out of the fridge. I grabbed some cups out of the cupboard he pointed me to and filled them with water.

We walked back out to the front porch. The tense silence hadn't lifted, even though I'd been sure I heard voices out here a second ago. I put the glasses I had on the railing around the porch. Despite asking for a drink before Bella didn't seem interested in grabbing one off me. Charlie put the two beers down next to the glasses. I felt like I'd walked into the middle of a conversation about me the way the silence felt so heavy.

Bella and the boy seemed to be involved in a hissing conversation, their lips moving fast over the words, almost too fast. Finally the boy turned to Bella and spoke, "Bella, why don't you go inside and talk to Charlie alone for a while. You two have some things to discuss."

Bella nodded and then turned to me, with a small smiled, "Jacob, why don't you come in too – we've got lot's to catch up on."

Billy looked at me, seeming to implore me to not go in. It was what sealed the deal for me. I walked straight inside, following Bella and Charlie. Bella walked straight into the living room and sat on the couch. Charlie sat next to her. I wasn't sure whether to sit or not. The atmosphere in here was just as bad. I wondered whether I would be better off just leaving, going home and coming back later to get Billy. The smell in here was concentrated. It seemed to be getting worse every passing minute. I still struggled to understand why Bella would choose to wear this sort of perfume.

Finally Charlie spoke, "Where have you been, Bells?"

"In Alaska. I really am sorry, Dad. Things just happened so fast and I lost control for a while, but since Edward has been helping me things have become better."

"Why have you changed so much since meeting Edward?"

Edward. That must have been the boy. I hadn't realised all the changes had happened since she'd met him. A Cullen.

Bella continued, "It's just something that happened. I don't know how to explain it. I've got a different diet now and I'm exercising more, running."

I saw Charlie grab Bella's hand but dropped it again almost instantly, "You're so...cold."

As if that word was dynamite it seemed to burst something restraining some hidden information in my head. Cold. Pale. Silken voice. Beautiful. New diet. These phrases ran around in circles in my head. I gasped as I lost control of my body. Every part of me felt on fire and I felt as if my spirit, my mind, was bursting through my skin, leaving it behind. I heard and felt my clothes ripping around me right before a boulder smashed into my side and spent my rolling over and over as I continue to lose control of my shape and myself. I was confused and didn't know what was up or down as I continued to roll. I heard crashing and banging but nothing was as loud as my own blood pumping through my ears. Or at least nothing was until I heard the screaming. I wasn't coming from me but it was coming from close by. I found my hands were now paws, ending in long razor-sharp claws. But those claws were buried deep in something, I tugged them back and the scream started again. The bleach smell was overpowering around me and it made my blood boil. I tried to scream out against the anger and the feelings I was having but it ripped from my throat as a snarl. Finally I came to rest against a wall. I noticed Edward was pinned beneath me, my claws buried deep in his shoulders.

Once upon a time I might have felt sorry for him about that fact but right now every story, every legend I had ever heard was running through my mind and I knew for a fact that he had killed Bella. Killed her and made her one of _them_. A cold-one. A blood-drinker. I snarled at him. I realised I was no longer human. I had no idea what I was but it was his fault.

I heard voices shouting at me in my head. But before I could listen to the voices or thoughts or whatever the hell it was I felt cold hands twist into the fur of my back. The next thing I knew I was in the air, Edward was no longer underneath me. When I righted myself I turned back to him but Bella was between us now. She was crouched low over Edward protecting him. As if what he did to her was a good thing. The rage burned hotter through me. The voices were shouting at me now to calm down. I could see things around me that I knew weren't around me. Almost like I was looking through four pairs of eyes simultaneously.

Bella issued a deep growl at me, my reaction was instinctual. I snarled back at her. She was a monster now too, that's what he did to her. I'll correct it. Two voices shouted at us from within the room.

"Bella? What the hell!" Charlie's worried voice shouted.

"Jacob. No!" Billy screamed at the same time.

When I turned back to Bella and Edward they had swapped positions, Edward was now in front. His face was full of pain. And his pain was echoed on Bella's face.

"No, Edward... you're hurt," Bella said to him.

"Bella – you promised." Edward called back, his eyes never leaving me.

"Yes, I promised to keep you safe."

"No, you promised to keep _you_ safe. That's all that matters to me."

Bella wrapped her arms around the monster, pulling him into her chest. They were both unprotected. Now was my chance to take them both.

Bella's voice was strained silk, "No, Edward, you can't. I can take any physical pain – I cannot lose you."

I heard Billy's voice, "Sam, get Jacob out of here. Use whatever authority you have to." I looked around briefly, confused about his statement. Sam wasn't here.

"**Jacob. To me. Now."** I recognised Sam's voice in my head now. I tried to keep focused on the pair in front of me. I wanted to keep up the attack but when I tried my legs collapsed underneath me. I whimpered with the pain that ran through me when I tried to stand again. I was being pulled towards the door. I found that when I followed that pull I could get to my feet. I charged straight out the door.

I heard Billy's voice follow me out into the night, "Deals off, Edward."

What?

*****

-EPOV-

One second Jacob was above me and I was convinced it was all going to be over. The next second all I could see was Bella's backside as she crouched low in front of me. Blocking the wolf from me. All that ran through my head was the promise I'd made her. That I would protect her.

Voices shouted out into the empty space.

"Bella? What the hell!" Charlie's worried voice shouted. His thoughts were in chaos, trying to reconcile what he had just seen with reality. A boy who turned into a giant wolf, his five foot four daughter pull that wolf off me as if he weighted a few pounds rather than a few hundred. And the image of her face pulled back into a mask of unrefined rage, teeth bared and snarling.

"Jacob. No!" Billy screamed at the same time. He was worried about our agreement. That Bella being hurt would end in bloodshed for his tribe. And he was worried about Charlie's reaction.

I quickly wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and pulled her out of the way. Pushing her behind me. My shoulders ached where the claws had penetrated through them. I heard the confusion, anger and hatred in Jacob's head. I could hear the voices of the other wolves shouting at him, trying to calm him down. And through him I could see Alice's face. She was drawn and stressed, but alive. Still alive.

"No, Edward... you're hurt," Bella said to me.

"Bella – you promised." I reminded her.

"Yes, I promised to keep you safe."

That's not what I remembered, "No, you promised to keep _you_ safe. That's all that matters to me."

Bella wrapped her hands around my hips and pulled herself into my chest. I could hear Jacob planning an attack, I put my arms around Bella, ready to push her away as soon as he charged.

"No, Edward, you can't. I can take any physical pain – I cannot lose you." The pain in her voice was evident. It distracted me from everything else. I caught onto her 'voice' to hear what her heart was saying. It was whispering a sad lament. I knew losing me would be as painful to her as losing her would be to me. In that moment I saw that neither of us would survive without the other.

I vaguely heard Billy speaking, "Sam, get Jacob out of here. Use whatever authority you have to."

I heard a whimper behind me and then I saw Jacob's fur as he ran out the back door. I was still focused on Bella's 'voice'.

Billy's voice cut through my reverie, "Deals off, Edward."

What?


	21. Lessons from history

**Chapter 21****: Lessons from history**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

-BPOV-

Billy's word ran deep into my bones, they seemed to hold an ominous promise, "Deals off, Edward."

"What deal?" I asked Billy.

He looked at Edward and so did I.

"What deal?" I asked Edward, speaking more harshly to him than I ever had.

He turned on Billy, "It doesn't matter if it's off."

I drew his attention back to me, "Yes it does. What deal?"

Billy spoke to me now, "His life in exchange for the rest of his family. To avoid a war."

"What?" My head flickered between the two of them. I felt Edward release my voice and he lowered his head in shame.

"His _life_?" Charlie chocked out, bringing everyone's attention back to him. He looked as even paler than Edward and I. He stared at Billy, "You were going to..._kill_ him?"

"Dad, sit down," he looked in danger of passing out or worse. "There is a lot you don't understand here."

He laughed hysterically, "You think? Kids I've known all their life exploding into wolves in front of my face, my daughter becoming some crazed monster growling and throwing around giant animals like they are pillows, my best friend of I don't know how many years talking about killing someone. Yeah, I'd say there is just a _bit _that I don't get at the moment." He was shouting and blue in the face by the end of his tirade.

"Dad, you and I have been caught up in the middle of an ancient war. Me most of all, because I've physically become part of it. You see I'm a - "

Edward cut me off, "No, Bella. I haven't explained this to you yet but your life, and your father's life, will be in danger if you finish that sentence."

"I can't keep lying to him, Edward."

"I'll tell him," Billy said, "Then he'll fall under my tribe's protection. It's not like the treaty is stopping me anymore."

Edward seemed to consider it for a moment but then nodded.

"Charlie, you've heard a number of our old legends at various times over our lifetime. What I know need you to realise is they are all true. My ancestors learned how to separate their spirit from their body and for many years they lived as spirit warriors, unable to be hurt but able to communicate with animals and drive off enemies. Then one of our tribe members betrayed his chief, stealing his body while he was in spirit form. The chief formed a friendship with a wolf and the wolf allowed him to share his body.

"The chief, having witnessed a heinous crime in the village, found the strength to form back into a man. Since then certain members of our tribe, those descended from that chief, have been able to turn into wolves at will."

"We do you fit into all of this?" Charlie was staring at me.

Billy answered him, "Over time we formed alliances with the other tribes around us and had no need for protectors any more until the cold ones started to come. Our protectors were effective against them and soon the cold ones were the reason our brothers began to phase."

"Cold ones?" Charlie asked, turing back to Billy.

Billy nodded solemnly, "Blood-drinkers. Your people would call them Vampires."

I expected Charlie to run screaming from the house but instead he burst out laughing, "Vampires! Good one."

Billy turned to me, "Bella, can you come over here please."

I walked over to the pair of them, holding my breath so that I wasn't caught up in their scent.

Billy turned back to Charlie, "Feel her skin. Lay your hand on her face and feel her skin."

I closed my eyes, I couldn't stand to see the look of repulsion on Charlie's face when he realised that Billy was telling the truth. I felt his warm hand caress my cheek, the way he used to when I was a child. He rubbed his thumb in a small circle across my cheekbone. I felt him push harder and harder, until he was applying a pressure that was probably bruising his fingers, and yet it still didn't shift my rock hard skin.

I heard Billy's voice from beside me, "Cold ones are pale white, ice cold and are incredibly fast and strong."

I heard Charlie's gasp. His heart was hammering in his chest, I could tell he was starting to believe this now.

"But how?" He breathed. I opened my eyes. His face was ashen and sorrowful, his eyes contained hurt and anger but not the rejection I had feared. I thought about his question, how best to answer that? I turned towards Edward for help and I saw Billy's eyes follow mine.

*****

-EPOV-

"Buy how?" Charlie asked, almost silently.

Three pairs of eyes suddenly turned towards me. I heard all of Charlie's anger and confusion become directed at me. But I couldn't deal with this right now, all that was running through my head were Billy's words. Deal's off. Why? What did that mean? Was he upset that I had attacked his son. Surely he realised I couldn't just let Jacob attack Bella or hurt Charlie. Billy's thoughts were anything but enlightening on the subject, he was too full of worry about explaining this for Charlie without giving him a heart-attack. Which settled it. If I was going to find out what Billy had meant I would have to deal with this first. But my mind was panicking about the fact that Alice was still alone with two wolves and apparently the deal was now off. And three pairs of eyes were still staring at me, almost expectantly.

"Chief Swan, sir, I'm the reason Bella is what she is." I dropped my eyes to the floor, "I...I couldn't resist the call of her blood."

I heard a sharp intake of breath and then Charlie was on top of me, trying to swing a punch at me, like he'd wanted to do all evening. I ducked and weaved easily out of the way of all of them. But he was relentless and I didn't want him to get hurt. He could easily break his hand.

"Dad, stop!" Bella screamed, "You'll hurt yourself."

Charlie turned to her, "I'll hurt _myself_, you're worried I can't handle myself around this little punk?"

"Think about what you just felt on my skin, Edward is the same. You could hit him with all your strength, all it would do is break your hand."

Charlie stopped his attack and walked back over to Bella, "Is this what you've become though? A monster who takes other people's lives? Will you be making more and more of your type?" I saw in his thoughts he had interpreted my statement to mean that anyone who is attacked by a vampire is changed. He saw armies of our kind roaming the streets like a scene from a horror movie.

"Bella is a rarity, sir." I told him, "Usually our victims don't survive."

He wheeled back around on me, his eyes wild and his thoughts wilder.

"Dad, sit and I'll explain. You're going to hurt yourself." Bella commanded and he did as she said.

"Edward and his family don't hunt the usual way. That is to say, they don't hunt humans - they've learned to survive on the blood of animals. Edward resisted the call for... for most of his existence." I could tell she was wary of telling Charlie my exact age and I could understand why 'Hey dad, meet my fiancé - he drank my blood and wanted to kill me, oh and guess what he's 104,' didn't make a good lasting impression.

Bella continued, "But my blood was too much for him. It was almost as if it was made to exactly match his thirst. But there's so much more than that. So much that you might not believe. See I was made for Edward, and he was made for me. Like soul mates. I have... a gift, if you like, I can see what people want, their heart truest desire. But with Edward it's a two-way street, he can know what I want. We think that's a big part of the reason he couldn't resist, but also why he stopped when it should have been impossible. See, Dad, I wanted him. From the first moment I saw him, he was all I wanted." She smiled beautifully at me, my soul sang for her. "I wasn't lying to you before when I told you he makes me happy."

Charlie was processing this information but in his mind one thing stuck out amongst everything else she said, "You're happy you are like this?"

"Inextricably," she smiled at me again. It was all I could do to stop myself from taking her across the table and showing her how happy she made me.

Charlie's thoughts spun for another few seconds but began to settle as he processed her words, she was happy – isn't that the most a parent can ask for.

I left Bella and Charlie alone for the moment and looked to Billy, "Now – what did you mean by deal's off?"

*****

-BPOV-

I turned to Edward and Billy. I needed to know this information. I still couldn't believe that Edward had tried to make a deal behind my back to hand himself over to the wolves. I couldn't be angry with him though, after all that's what my plan had been. I was getting a better handle on Billy's desire now - he wanted to avoid bloodshed. Not for us as such but for his people. He knew it was three, now four, wolves against eight vampires.

I could hear Charlie beside me, his breathing was starting to calm. I snuck a peek at him through the side of my eyes. His eyes focused on Edward with a look of intense hatred. I was suddenly glad Edward wasn't human. At least Charlie couldn't shoot him.

Billy seemed to consider his answer to Edward's words carefully. I wondered why, but then he was a frail human currently in a house with two 'cold-ones' who could easily finish him off before any of the wolves got here, especially considering that wolf was currently dealing with Jacob. And they'd gone a fair distance away by the sound of their footfalls running away a little while ago.

Finally Billy spoke, "Charlie is my best friend. We've known each other almost our entire life. And although I haven't seen Bella as much as I would have liked over the years, I consider her to be part of the family. When I saw you two trying to pull each other out of the way after Jacob attacked I realised how two two feel about each other."

I nodded, he wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know, except maybe the part where he considers me family. Or did, I doubt he still does.

Billy was focused on Edward now, "You said you would convince your family not to avenge you, and maybe you would have been able to. But I don't think any words would convince Bella."

He was right, if Edward was gone, the thought was like a dagger to the stomach, I would hunt down every last person responsible. Nothing would stop my revenge - except death. And I would welcome death in the end. It would be better than an eternity without Edward.

"But the treaty?" Edward whispered, a look of absolute shock on his face.

"The treaty is dead." Billy's words sounded like a nail in a coffin to me.

*****

-EPOV-

I couldn't believe what I was hearing in Billy's thoughts. I thought I had anticipated every possible outcome when we'd started negotiating tonight. But I never anticipated _this_.

I smiled widely at Bella. She looked at me in confusion.

Billy's next words cleared her confusion up, "We're not going to trade lives here today. We will renegotiate a new treaty with your family and it will include Bella. As Bella was the one and only slip, and you said that Bella herself has never hunted humans, we will grant an amnesty for the breach and release the girl. But your family is to move away from Forks within the month."

I felt Bella's eyes boring into me, she'd knew that I'd lied to Billy to save her. But how could I not? Besides one or two slips for a newborn is practically never, and she was committed to the vegetarian lifestyle now so there wasn't any harm done really.

I knew my family wouldn't mind moving on, I knew they'd planned to anyway if Bella had stayed with them. This was more than I could hope for in my wildest dreams. We'd have Alice back and I still had an eternity with Bella.

Billy was anxious to check on Sam and Jacob. He knew his son would be confused by what was happening. Charlie was still trying to process the information he'd received and was now beyond tired. I looked at the clock – it was just past one in the morning.

Bella was still upset with me. I shifted my focus onto her 'voice', yes she was upset. But she would be alright. She just needed to fume at me for a few minutes. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her, much to Charlie's disgust.

"I think we should go and let your dad rest," I whispered in her ear.

She glanced quickly at Charlie and nodded.

"Bella and I are going to go home. It's been a long night, I think you need to sleep on the information you've received Charlie. I promise I will bring Bella back down tomorrow."

Charlie debated arguing for a second but a look from Bella silenced him. He nodded.

I wrote my cell number on a piece paper and handed it to Billy, "If you want to renegotiate any of the terms call me on that number. Speak to myself or Carlisle, we'll be spokespeople for the family."

He nodded.

"Now, when can we get Alice back?"

"I'll talk to Sam, technically he's the chief. I'm just an elder who advises him. The end decision is his."

"We really miss her." I thought of Jasper in his room, sending waves of melancholy around the house.

He nodded, "I'll talk to Sam soon."

I nodded and pulled Bella out the door. We had to tell everyone else the happy news.

*****

-JPOV-

I understood what was happening now. All the legends were true. And now I was a fucking great big wolf. Great. And it was all that bloodsuckers fault. I silently asked Sam what Billy had meant by deals off. Sam was as confused as me, but didn't seem fazed with it. He didn't order Paul or Jared to take out the leech they were holding prisoner so he obviously didn't think it meant war just yet. Which is a shame, the anger coursing through my body right now needed to find some release.

How could he do that to her.

How could Edward the fuck Cullen kill Bella?

Sam ordered me to run with him and we ran for a few miles through the forest, away from the house. Further and further away from my revenge against Edward. I didn't care that I didn't know Bella well. I knew her father. He was a fucking uncle to me. How dare that leech take her away from Charlie!

After we had run for miles, Sam turned us around and we ran back towards Charlie's house. I knew he was trying to calm me by running these laps, and to a certain degree it worked allowing the tension coiled in my muscles to release into the ground. But I still wanted a chance to go that arrogant ass Cullen.

**Stop thinking about attacking them** Sam's thoughts were infused by that strange impulse. I had to control them, I had no choice in the matter.

We paced back to the house. And then away again.

We did another few laps before Sam noticed a change in the air. A fresh scent trail leading away from the house. Bella and Edward's scent. He wanted to talk to Billy but wanted me to phase back to human. I wondered how that would even be possible – the size I was now would not fit into a human body. Sam showed me his thoughts of how he shifted the heat, the anger, from his limbs back into his centre. I tried to do it but couldn't. He phased back to human and then into a wolf to show me. It helped. I phased back to human on my second try. But just before I lost contact with Sam's mind I heard something very interesting in his thoughts.

Billy was waiting for us on the porch. It looked like Charlie had already turned the lights out and gone to bed.

"What's happening?" Sam asked.

"I've agreed to renegotiate a new treaty." Billy said, "They will leave town within the month."

Sam narrowed his eyes, "And what about the penalty for breaching the treaty?"

"I don't think we can issue a punishment without a fight. Edward will have his family protect Bella, you heard his threat. But what Edward didn't consider is that Bella will not allow his death without a fight."

"So we just back down?" I shouted, "Just let him get away with it?"

"Jacob, it doesn't concern you," Billy said, "Sam is the alpha of this pack. It's his choice, but I hope he will listen to my advice."

Sam nodded, "I'd like to know what you've based your assessment on, but if you think this is the best course than I agree to it."

"And the girl will be free to go?"

Sam nodded, then darted off the porch and phased. He was back in human form a few seconds later. "It's done."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" I couldn't believe this.

"Jacob," Billy said, his voice thick with authority, "I have told you. Sam is the alpha."

"Maybe but you know what I find really interesting. Jacob Black wasn't born to serve Sam Uley, was he?"

Both Sam and Billy's heads whipped in my direction.

"Yeah, you didn't want me to catch that bit of information, did you Sam?"

"So what?" He snarled at me, "Are you challenging me for alpha?"

"Damn right I am." I felt the anger shooting out into my limbs.

**A/N – Sorry, I know I know another Cliffy :( sorry but it was end it here or not get it up today. I'll update as soon as I can.**


	22. Homecoming

**Chapter 22****: Homecoming**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

*****

Sam backed away from the ever expanding boy that was Jacob. He leapt over the railing of the porch, running into the distance to draw Jacob away from Billy and the house. Away towards the forest. By the time Sam hit the first of the trees he was a large wolf, as deep black as the night sky. Jacob, now a russet-brown monster leapt after him quickly, not willing to back down now the challenge for alpha had been issued and accepted. They both knew this could mean death for either one of them, but each battled for what he believed was right.

They circled each other in the skirt of the forest. Violent snarls ripped from their muzzles as they beared their knife-sized teeth at each other. The sound reverberated off the trees and the neighbours around Charlie's house woke in a panic. They circled each other slowly, listening intently to each other's thoughts, ready to pounce at any sign of weakness. Finally they both sunk simultaneously into a low crouch, readying themselves for the pounce.

As if a starting gun had been fired both wolves charged at each other. They each threw themselves recklessly at each other and soon became a confusing swirl of black and red, teeth and claws. They tumbled and jumped and writhed around each other. Both snapping widely for the other's skin, taking advantage of whatever purchase they could find. They were too closely matched, one with his birthright and strong instincts, the other with his battle knowledge and wisdom.

Again and again they came at each other, teeth gnashing, claws extended and growling fiercely. Both ignored the blood that issued from their wounds and dripped from their mouths. At last one wolf gained the upper hand, gripping tightly around the scruff of the other's neck. Whipping it's head wildly, the prevailing wolf tossed the other hard into a tree.

The fallen wolf let out a whimper and remained down. The other stood, proud and tall, as the rightful alpha. He leaned over the fallen wolf, pressing muzzle to throat. At the moment the injured wolf would recover but the alpha knew dealing the deathblow, to ensure no later challenge, would be a simple matter of opening his jaws and tearing through the jugular that was mere inches away.

He could see in his mind that the others were coming up fast. Neither Paul nor Jared knew what to make of the situation. There had never been a challenge before. They would be forced to accept the outcome or issue a challenge themselves. But at the moment they didn't care about challenges or winners, they just knew they needed to stop that final deadly bite.

*****

-BPOV-

As we ran from Charlie's house Edward pulled his phone from his pocket.

"She's coming home," he practically cheered into it. I couldn't help the smile on my face too. Sure there were still things we needed to deal with. Charlie for one. And the wolves - we needed to know what their renegotiated terms were. But Alice was alive and, hopefully by now, free. Edward and I charged through the forest towards his house hand in hand. He had my voice again now that the danger was gone and we were both listening to our souls communicate.

We ran straight through the front door. "Is she here yet?" I asked anxiously. The mood on the house was radiant, like no one could ever possibly have a reason for being sad ever again. Like sad didn't even exist anymore. I knew this was all a reflection of Jasper's mood, but the euphoria was welcomed after the stress of the last few days. I let it sink deep into me, filling me to the core.

"Not yet," Rosalie said.

I furrowed my eyebrows, our stream was just a few minutes run from here. What could be taking her so long? I felt Edward release my voice, trying to see if Alice was within his net yet. His look of concern passed into one of relief. "She'll be here in five, four, three, two..."

"One!" Alice's trilling voice burst through the backdoor. We all wanted to race forward and pull her into us but stayed respectfully back because there was one homecoming which meant so much more for her than all the others. She and Jasper crashed into each other with the sound of a boulder sliding down a mountain. They kissed passionately for a few seconds before drawing back to gaze into each other's eyes. Watching them I wondered if they had a connection almost like Edward's and mine. Finally after a few minutes she turned to the rest of us and smiled.

"Alice!" We all shouted and piled onto her. She giggled under the attention.

"You're not hurt are you?" Esme asked, ever the mother.

She shook her head, "Actually, no, the wolves were very kind to me, aside from the whole taking me hostage thing."

"I don't understand that part though Alice," I asked, "There were only two wolves guarding you – it wouldn't have been hard to get away from them."

"Not on their own no, but every time I thought about it everyone disappeared. I couldn't take that risk." She looked over at Jasper.

"So you couldn't see the wolves?" I asked, confirming my suspicion.

"No. That's how they were able to surprise me," Alice said, "There were three then and I had no idea how many of them there were. They could have had enough to wipe everyone out for all I knew."

"There were only the three when they grabbed you," I said, "But now there are four."

"Why?" Carlisle asked calmly.

"The boys of the tribe seem to change when enraged," Edward answered, "Or at least some do – maybe it's a predisposition."

"So what are our options then?" Carlisle asked, "And what do the wolves want to do?"

"Bella and I discussed a renegotiation of the treaty with Billy Black. The fact that Alice is here confirms they are willing to stick to it."

"On what terms?" Carlisle asked, looking between Edward and I. I knew he was asking whether one, or both, of us were going to be sacrificed for the rest of the family."

Edward answered, "The finer details are still to be worked out but their big stipulation is we leave Forks within a month."

"And if we don't want to?" Emmett said with a threat in his voice.

Edward turned to him, "Then I think our only option is to kill all the wolves. If we leave even one alive they will not stop until they have their retribution."

"So what?" Emmett asked, "Four wolves is hardly a challenge for eight vampires. Besides we owe them for Alice."

Alice rolled her eyes, "I'm right here. I'm not hurt."

"We didn't know that," Emmett insisted.

"The problem with that," Edward said, "Is that we don't know whether there are any other wolves close to changing in the tribe. We'd have to kill every young male in the tribe to be sure, would you be comfortable with that – with wholesale murder to protect your family?"

Carlisle cringed, "No. If we're going to protect our family – we need to make sure we have a family worth protecting."

"No," I whispered, "killing the pack will leave Charlie unprotected if it becomes known that he knows our secret."

Rosalie whirled on me, "He knows our secret? What the hell?"

"Trust me, it's a long story."

"The sooner you start it the sooner it will be finished," she quipped.

"Fine," I huffed. But I knew she was right, the family deserved an explanation for this, "Edward and I laid the scent trail to lure the wolves to us and waited in the forest. Charlie saw us so we had to talk to him. We tried to convince him of a perfectly good, human, cover story and we might have gotten away with it but Billy turned up with his son Jacob and one of the wolves. Charlie said something about how cold I was and how much I had changed and Jacob clicked the pieces together."

"He went from disbeliever to wolf in a matter of seconds." Edward added.

Rosalie looked at me suspiciously, "Charlie saw you? How?"

I was embarrassed to admit the reason, "Edward and I became a little bit... distracted."

Alice tittered, "That's one word for it."

My embarrassment grew ten-fold, "You saw that?"

"Just the beginning – I tried to tune it out after that. I'm not some pervert."

Alice's words made Rosalie widen her eyes, "Your father caught you in the middle -"

I cut her off, I was already mortified enough, "Yes, Rosalie. He did. That's why Edward didn't hear his thoughts. And neither of us heard his footsteps. We were distracted."

I thought that I was going to see the wrath of Rosalie which Edward told me so much about, but instead she burst out laughing, "Your father caught you having sex with your fiancé."

"Dude, that sucks." Emmett was laughing too.

Edward groaned, "As funny as this seems to be to all of you, _this_ isn't helping with the decision."

Carlisle interjected again, glad the conversation had gotten back on course, "I won't allow an attack on the wolves."

"Neither will I," I added.

Edward looked at me for a second, "I think the wolves have actually been more than fair. They are as uninterested in a war as we are. And I did break the treaty, although they don't know the full extent."

"What do you mean?" Esme asked.

"I told them that Bella had never drank human blood, and they assumed that I had only slipped the once – with Bella."

"You don't think they might find out... about the others?" Jasper asked, concerned.

"I don't see how, the other slip-ups were very well covered up. The only one in the area which might be linked to us is the boy in the van, but his cause of death is listed as a traffic accident. I think if they suspected anything there we would know about it by now. They wouldn't have waited this long to make a move."

"So why did they move now?" Jasper asked.

"They found Bella's truck in the forest – and Alice's scent on it. They knew we were involved somehow. Although they were surprised to see Bella. And to find Charlie alive when they detected our scents."

"Well, we can't worry about that now, if you've already told them the lie we have to stick to it," Esme said firmly.

Alice nodded and then her eyes glazed over, "I think we'd better make a decision soon."

"Why's that?" I asked.

"Because all of our futures disappear in half an hour."

*****

The wolves ran though the forest, silent spectres in the night. They ran deliberately towards the house of their natural enemy. The rightful alpha led them, unwavering on his current course. The course he knew was right.

The four wolves ran in close formation. The losing wolf took his rightful position at the back of the pack. All his thoughts turned to the battle, considering how else it could have gone, what he could have done differently to change the current outcome. He was aware that the pack was listening to his thoughts, but he didn't care. He knew he would never get another opportunity to be alpha. It was a once in a life-time opportunity, and he'd lost. And in his failure he was forced to commit to the alpha's desire. He was healing already, his pride much more wounded than his body. He would never challenge again. His humiliation, and the alpha's death threat, ensured that.

*****

-EPOV-

We waited anxiously for the pack. I stood hand in hand with Bella. In fact all of my family held their loved one's hands. I had no idea why the wolves were coming. When we left Billy he was happy to phone to discuss everything. I knew he wanted to keep us apart from the wolves and away from other humans as much as possible. We knew we could handle the pack if they had come to start a fight, but there was always the risk we might lose one of our family members in the process.

Alice's declaration twenty-eight minutes ago had made us all sink into silence. We'd barely moved since then – other than to shift minutely closer to our respective partners. Now there were mere minutes left until the wolves would arrive. In fact they should be closing into us anytime soon. I was focused on listening to every mind within hearing distance, waiting for the moment any one of the wolves came within distance of me. I had discovered from Sam that I could see all the wolves' minds when I saw one.

Finally they came within distance. And I was immediately surprised.

"There was a challenge for the position of alpha," I exclaimed. "Between Jacob and Sam."

"What does that mean for us?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't know." I admitted. All the wolves' minds were tuned to the fight and to their current destination but none answered that one vital question.

What did it mean for us?

**A/N – Sorry, I know this is another frustrating ending – but I promise all will be revealed in the next chapter, which will be up soon. I just needed to write the wolf fight in 3****rd**** party POV, it wouldn't let me write it any other way. **

**Also – just a reminder again I am on twitter now if you want to talk or yell at me for the cliffhangers ;) username is mpg82**


	23. Renegotiation

**Chapter 23****: Renegotiation**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

*****

-JPOV-

Sam stood over me. His teeth were bared and resting against my throat. I could hear his thoughts, showing me how easy it would be for him to kill me now. To end it for good.

_**You are not strong enough to challenge me, cub,**_ his alpha voice rolled though me, keeping me pinned to the ground more effectively than his teeth or his threats.

Paul and Jared tore through the forest towards us, listening to Sam's thoughts. Silently willing him to stop. They did not miss the warning, it was directed to them as much as it was to me. He was making it clear to everyone that the next challenge would be a fight to death. That he could not have dissension in the ranks. He showed me again how easy it was for him to beat me. Shame burned through me. The position of alpha was mine. It should have been mine – it was my birthright. But by challenging and failing I had lost that claim. My birthright had been stolen. Sam was the alpha now, and his children would receive the birthright into the future. This certainty burned through every bone in my body, scalding my pride and igniting my anger.

_We are going to go to the Cullen's now before the situation becomes worse, _Sam directed us all through his thoughts, his word not infused with the double timbre of his alpha voice. At least, not yet. But I knew he would issue that directive if I refused. I stood, wincing slightly as I put my weight on my front paws. Now that the adrenaline and anger had worked their way through my system I felt my injuries more acutely.

_We _will_ renegotiate the treaty with them and __**we will not harm them if they follow the guidelines we set.**_

I winced as the force of his alpha voice ran along my spine and settled in my limbs. There would be no way I would get revenge for Charlie now, not unless... but I pushed the thought far from my mind. I couldn't have Sam or any of the pack hearing that errant thought. If they did Sam could order me not to follow that course of action. I put it in the back of my mind unwilling to think about it until I was human again.

As we ran I heard the thoughts of the other pack members. Sam was concentrating only on his surroundings, listening to the thoughts of the others and closely monitoring my thoughts – ready to step in with the authority of the alpha if he needed to. Paul and Jared were having a silent conversation, I didn't listen hard enough to care who was saying what.

_Can you believe Jacob, man? Not even a wolf for a day and already trying to claim alpha._

_I guess he thought he was doing what he thought was right._

_Yeah, well he really fucked that up didn't he?_

Both their heads turned back towards me and their thoughts turned mocking. It was the reason a failed challenge ensured the winner won alpha status, it was ingrained deep into our collective psyche that the loser of such a challenge faced humiliation for the attempt and be assigned the lowest rank possible in the wolf pack.

As we arrived at the Cullen's house Sam phased to human, directing us to stay as we were and then used his alpha voice to tell us to stay back unless he asked for assistance. I was glad he didn't seem to trust the Cullen's anymore than I did, I could read that in his thought. He was just trying to broker this treaty to get them to leave. I still thought we'd be better off attacking them. A pain shot down my spine as my thoughts headed into a territory forbidden by the alpha.

From inside the house there was silence, but we knew they were all there - the smell permeating the night air was almost unbearable.

Sam spoke at a normal volume, "I am here to negotiate the terms of the treaty."

Edward, the fuck, Cullen came out hand in hand with Bella. Her eyes shifted to me immediately, and as I registered the red in the depth of her eyes and her bleach-like smell it intensified the natural instinct I had. I wanted to rip Edward apart, to feel my claws in his skin again. I tried to ignore the pain of the alpha order running through me again. As if in defiance or to answer my thoughts Edward's eyes turned to me as well and he raised his eyebrow as if in challenge. Next to me Paul whimpered silently and reminded me of Sam's law – we would not harm them if they followed the guidelines. In that second I almost thought I could read minds because the mocking look that crossed Edward's face made his thoughts clear. He didn't think I was strong enough to fight him. I would show him, I went to leap forward but instead I fell to the floor under the weight of the alpha's orders. Edward didn't react, his eyes turning from me back to Sam as if I was completely uninteresting. Not even worth the effort. Humiliation burned through me and I wanted revenge. In my eyes there was only one person, no – one _vampire_, who was responsible for all of this and I would make him pay.

Somehow.

*****

-BPOV-

When we heard Sam phase to human and call out to us everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Between being in human form and his words we all realised he still wanted to negotiate. He hadn't changed his mind because of the challenge. Edward stood and took my hand, leading me out of the house. We would be the spokespeople for his family. It had been agreed that we were best placed for the task because between Edward's mind reading and my ability we could tell what the wolves were thinking with both their minds and their souls. And Edward could listen to his family's reaction to Sam's words.

As soon as I saw Jacob, and I knew which one was Jacob by his distinctive colouring, I read his desire. Revenge. A silent communication seemed to occur between him and Edward and that desire burned even stronger.

Sam, still desiring a peaceful solution for his tribe spoke gained our attention again and spoke, "There have been developments since our last discussion. I do not know all the terms Billy has discussed with you but I think it would be safer for your family, and my tribe, to move sooner rather than later."

"A week is more than enough time," Edward answered his thoughts.

Sam scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, "You don't want to discuss that with the rest of your family?"

"No need. I am here as their spokesperson and I know how quickly we can move on if necessary."

Sam nodded, "And you are not to return to the Olympic Peninsula in the future."

"Is there a time caveat on that?" Edward asked. I knew what he was trying to do – this area was perfect for us, if we could get a timeframe we would be able to return at some point without breaking the treaty.

That seemed to throw Sam for a second and he threw out a number that probably seemed like a long time to him, "Three hundred years."

Edward nodded, "We can agree to that."

Sam seemed confused again that Edward was agreeing without consulting anyone in the family. Of course Edward and I both knew they were all listening and giving Edward feedback in his mind.

Sam continued, "The next one is that - "

Edward cut him off, "I'm not sure that is such a good idea."

"How did -"

"I just can. And I don't think that's a good idea."

"He deserves a -"

"We won't go without notice. But I can't agree to the second part."

"I won't leave him unprotected."

My eyes flicked between Edward and Sam and I got the distinct impression they were talking about Charlie.

"Sam, can you please tell me what the term is?" I asked, shooting Edward a glance that hopefully said 'don't mess with me'.

"I want you to visit Charlie once more before you leave, say goodbye properly. As much as I hate to put him at risk, I know how much it hurt him when you disappeared without a trace. I won't allow him to go through that again. He's a good man."

"That's easy. I wouldn't dream of leaving him again without saying goodbye."

"He wants you to go alone with two wolves," Edward said, his voice cold and unemotional. His aura screaming at me not to allow it.

"How about three wolves, and Edward comes too?" I asked. This was supposed to be a negotiation after all. And if the wolves felt they needed the greater number I wouldn't argue. I wouldn't harm Charlie. I knew that with certainty now – I would do what it took to keep him safe.

Sam considered it for a minute, "Okay, that sounds fair."

"But one of those wolves has to be you," Edward said to Sam but he was staring at Jacob, "To keep the others in control."

Sam scrunched his eyebrows together again. I could tell he was concerned by how much Edward seemed to know, but I could tell he was piecing Edward's actions and words and coming to the only logical conclusion – mind-reader.

I followed Edward's eyes to Jacob and could see the reason for the request. Jacob's burning desire for revenge was such a deep purple it was bordering on black. At first I wondered if we should insist that Jacob not be among the three but then I realised that request would mean he would be alone, away from Sam and the other wolves, and could hurt one of Edward's family members or himself.

"And Jacob has to be one of the others," I said. I felt three pairs of astonished eyes turn to me. I met each of them in turn, I wasn't going to justify my decisions to anyone but Edward. And that could wait until we were alone again, or at least I thought it could but I felt him latch onto my voice to hear what my soul was thinking. I could hear the whispers between us sharing Jacob's feelings and that I didn't want him, or any of his family, getting hurt.

He nodded and I felt him release my voice again. He didn't want to risk miss anything from either his family or from the wolves.

"We'll do it tomorrow," I said, then I realised that it was already past midnight, "or I guess later today."

Sam nodded, "What time?"

"Ten o'clock this morning? That gives Charlie time to sleep in if he needs to."

Sam nodded again. "We'll meet you there."

"And you'll keep him safe after we've gone," I said, it was not a request. It was the one demand I would place on the wolves.

"Yes."

"So can we confirm all the details of the new treaty?" I asked.

"Everything remains exactly as per the old one, besides the three conditions we've just discussed," Sam answered, "I'm sure Edward is well versed on the details of the treaty." I didn't even need Edward's ability to hear the 'because he broke them' that Sam almost certainly added in his mind. My suspicion was confirmed when I saw remorse burning deep in Edward's eyes. I clasped his hand tighter. I had forgiven him for that and I thought Charlie would too, eventually. Once I explained again just how happy I was. And I was happy. Happy and ready to go back to Denali, I missed my sisters from there. I wondered what they made of our speedy exit and figured they were probably worried sick about us.

Sam turned and headed back to the other wolves, phasing as soon as he was out of sight. We heard the sounds of four sets of feet padding away into the distance.

"I want to call Tanya," I said to Edward.

"Good idea. Actually, I was thinking we should ask them if we all can impose on them for a few weeks until we can get documents in order to move onto the next town."

I nodded, "Do you want to live with your family again permanently?"

His aura screamed yes but he looked me in the eye, "I want to live wherever you want to live. I understand that Tanya's family are like family to you – they are like family to me too."

I nodded.

"We can make the decision later though," he said, stroking my face gently. I turned my head into his hand. I missed his touch and it made me think of our interrupted activities earlier this evening. I would call Tanya and let her know everything was alright here and then Edward and I could spend a few hours together - alone.

Edward's hand shifted from my cheek to my lips, his fingertips brushing them softly. My tongue flicked out involuntarily to taste him. His eyes filled with lust.

Maybe Edward and I could spend a few hours together – alone. And then I could call Tanya and let her know everything was okay here.

Edward's lips pressed gently against mine and I sighed heavily into him. Soon his tongue was tracing a circle around the inside of my lips, seeking entrance. I parted my lips and drew his tongue in. I put my hands up to his face to pull him closer to me and we pressed hard against one another. One of my hands wandered from his face, across his chest and down onto his hip. I started playing with his waistband. I felt him latch onto my voice. His hands circled my waist and he started to grind his hips against me. I could feel his arousal growing.

I breathed deeply of his scent. I wondered if I would ever get enough of Edward – I couldn't see how it would be possible. I pushed my tongue back into his mouth, tasting his venom and allowing it to mingle with my own.

For the second time tonight, a cough behind us alerted us to someone else's presence.

"Wow, when you two get distracted – you _really_ get distracted," Emmett laughed.

Edward growled at him, "Was there something you wanted?"

Emmett laughed louder, "Yeah, we wanted to know if the wolves were gone and everything was okay."

"You heard every word Sam said."

"Yeah," Emmett chuckled.

"So why did you have to come out?"

"Just to be thorough. To make sure I didn't miss anything."

"Well everything is fine so can Bella and I please have some privacy?"

Emmett made a few kissy faces at us before going back into the house.

"Come on, love," Edward said to me, pulling me towards the forest. "We'll go hunt."

"Yeah, sure..._hunt,_" Emmett's voice came booming out of the house.

Edward growled louder and then pulled my arm and we both ran into the forest.

As we ran Edward led, pulling me in an all too familiar direction. Towards our stream. When we arrived I was a little surprised by what I found. Obviously when Edward had ripped the roses out he had done so effectively. And then in the centre of the small clearing were deep rivets where hands had ripped deep piles of earth from the ground. I turned to ask Edward who was responsible for the second round of damage on this area but his sheepish look made me realise it was him and I laughed loudly.

"What happened?" I asked.

"It was after you... went away. I sat in my room for almost a whole month breathing in your scent. I just needed to feel close to you, even though I felt so guilty over what I thought I'd done to you. When your scent finally faded too much I thought I would come here for a reminder of us, but that didn't work out quite how I planned."

We hadn't really discussed what we'd done after I ran from him before, we usually stuck to happier topics. Hearing him be so honest about how much he had missed me made me grab his shirt and pull him into me tightly. After the night we'd had we both just wanted to envelope ourselves in our own little world. At least we knew there wouldn't be any interruptions this time. We didn't even wait to undress each other, both tearing our own clothes off and crashing into each other. Edward took up my voice as our tongues danced together. His hands explored my body and he pushed me roughly to the ground, pushing himself hard into me. I growled as his roughness filled the primal urge I had for him. I grabbed his hair and pulled his face to mine harder, crushing my lips against his mouth. He continued to push harder and faster until we both found our release and then our movements slowed into veneration and our fingertips traced every inch of the other's skin. We lay there exploring, touching and kissing as the sun rose.

Finally we headed back to the house. I called Tanya and told her everything that happened and got permission for the Cullens to move there for a while until they could get everything in order to move somewhere more permanently. Tanya tried to find out whether Edward and I would be staying or going when the Cullens moved on but I couldn't give her an answer yet. Then I helped Edward pack away his room, which involved testing the couch out for durability.

Finally it was just before ten o'clock. Time for me to go say a final goodbye to my father.


	24. Goodbye

**Chapter 24****: Goodbye**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

*****

-JPOV-

I had a plan. I had been unable to think about it or refine it because Sam would have heard my thoughts but very soon we would be phasing to human as a 'sign of faith' towards the filthy, stinking, fucking bloodsuckers. Once that happened I would be free to think as much as I liked. I didn't care if Sam found out later f my plan didn't work – he could do what he wanted then. But for now, my plan was all I had and I would do everything I could to make it a success.

*****

-BPOV-

Edward and I ran towards Charlie's house with our hands wrapped securely in each others. Edward was again catching and releasing my voice, obviously undecided whether he needed the comfort of listening to me or the safety of hearing the thoughts of the wolves more. I squeezed his hand to try to offer my comfort that way. I knew it was important for him to pay attention to any shift in the mood of the wolves. Especially with Jacob involved.

I could smell the wolves long before I could see them. Four distinct, putrid smells lingered all around Charlie's house and led into the forest. I looked at Edward for a moment to get his confirmation that it was safe. He nodded.

"I thought they said three wolves?" I hissed at Edward.

"Apparently Sam thought it was safer if they stayed in a group – so that the lone wolf wasn't ambushed. One will remain outside while the others are in the house."

I thought about the scent of Charlie when we were in the close confines of the house the previous night. I knew I wouldn't hurt him, at least not intentionally, but I didn't want to make seeing him unnecessarily hard on ourselves either. "I want to meet Charlie outside."

Edward didn't ask my reasoning, I'm sure he didn't need to. His self-control was as lacking as mine. At least outside we could position ourselves away from the scent.

As we reached the edge of the forest I heard the sound of three of the wolves phasing. A moment later they stepped out. Sam and Jacob were accompanied by a third whose name I didn't know.

"Sam," Edward nodded in welcome. He ignored Jacob and the other wolf.

"Edward, Bella," Sam replied.

"Bella would prefer to try to talk to Charlie outside, do you have any objections?"

"Only if Charlie does."

"Do you trust us enough to go to the door," I asked Sam, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. I understood why they wanted to be here and I hadn't really begrudged them when I agreed, but now it just felt like they were babysitters trying to intrude on my last private moment with my father, "Or would you like to invite him out?"

"You and I can go alone. Edward, Jacob and Jared can wait in the backyard for us."

I looked at Edward to see whether he could see any danger in Sam's thoughts but he looked distracted, his eyes squeezed together in frustration. I pulled his face down to look at me. I stood on tiptoes and whispered in his ear, "Is that going to be okay?"

He shook his head as if to clear it and then nodded, "You'll be safe and I'll be waiting."

I took advantage of my proximity to his face to give him a quick peck on the cheek, "You better be."

I nodded to Sam and started to walk to Charlie's front door. I heard Charlie rise from his chair in the living room, he'd obviously been waiting for us. He pulled the door open as soon as I went to knock on it.

"I didn't know if you were going to come back," he said, unthinkingly wrapping his arms around me. I held my breath and stiffened. Sam was just as tense beside me, I felt his eyes watching my face closely for any sign of loss on control. Once Charlie had stepped back again I turned my head and breathed as much clean air as possible. I was just glad that the smell of the wolf beside me was so strong it drowned almost all of the scent of Charlie's blood.

"I promised didn't I?"

He nodded.

"Know that you know what I am I will keep my promises, okay? But you know I have to leave don't you?"

Charlie nodded again, "How soon?"

"Soon. We're leaving tonight."

"But there is still so much to talk about."

"And we'll talk. Let's go into the backyard and we'll talk there, okay?"

He sighed but turned and headed through the house. He seemed to register the presence of Jacob, Jared and Edward suspiciously. Edward stood close to the house, and swept behind me, close enough to pull me out of harm's way, but showing his willingness to allow the wolves a direct line to me if I began to attack Charlie. Jacob and Jared stood down closer to the trees, Sam moved to stand between them and I, to show Edward his willingness to stop any trouble if it was unwarranted.

"Why are they all here?" He whispered needlessly to me – they could all hear him clearly.

"For your protection," I indicated Jacob and Jared, "and mine," I indicated Edward.

He seemed confused as to why I needed protection.

"Edward worries about me Dad. He loves me. And there is an instinctual mistrust between us and the wolves. He wouldn't let me come down by myself."

"But he was the one who hurt you." I saw Edward wince at my father's words. I had a feeling he would feel guilty about taking my human life forever, no matter how many times I told him he was forgiven.

"Dad, don't. I told you, I don't blame Edward for what happened and I am happy now." I looked towards Edward as I spoke, hoping he would turn his face towards me so that he could see the truth in my words again – he may not forgive himself but I wanted him to know without doubt that I did, even if I had to tell him that a thousand times. But Edward wouldn't look at me. He was staring Jacob down, and Jacob was looking back at him just as ferociously. Jacob's aura was burning with a desire for revenge. Edward was concerned over something in Jacob's thoughts. But for the moment they were just staring and that made me want to get this meeting over with quickly so we could leave and diffuse the situation.

"Dad, I know you've probably got a thousand and one questions."

He nodded.

"I can't answer them though."

His fast looked downcast.

"I just think the less you know the better – both for your sanity and your safety."

Edward looked over to me, a look of agony on his features. A single growl rolled from his throat but then he turned back to Jacob and his face became impassive again. His aura was quickly turning the same shade as Jacob's. Obviously Jacob was torturing him with his thoughts somehow. And then I realised what Edward was looking at me for – he wanted my voice. His muscles were all tense and bunched and he had his hands clenched tightly into fists by his side. He was too stressed to do find the comfort of my voice without my help.

"Give me a second," I said to Charlie. I walked over to Edward and pulled his face down to mine. I stared into his eyes and helped him to find my voice. He calmed visibly as soon as he had it and his aura lightened. It was still the same colour as Jacob's just not as intense.

I slide a small silver phone that I had arranged with Carlisle this morning out of my pocket. I walked back to Charlie and put it into his hand. "This has Edward's number in it. Where he is, I will be. If you ever need to talk, call me."

"But, Bells. Do you have to leave?"

I looked at Sam, "Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I will die if I stay." It seemed the easiest way to explain it, of course the more likely action would be that we would wipe out the four wolves and then be forced to decimate the tiny town on the Quileute Reservation.

Charlie eyed Sam off wearily and whispered to me, "Sam and his friends, are they the ones who are threatening to kill you?"

I shook my head, "Dad, it doesn't matter. The reason I'm leaving is because I have to leave. We all do. You need to trust Sam – he'll make sure no one hurts you." I narrowed my eyes at Sam, reminding him that this was my one stipulation.

"Who'll hurt me Bells? I'm the Chief of Police."

"Other vampires and they won't care if you are the Duke of Earl. They'll just see you as a human who knows too much."

He seemed to process that as he looked down at the cell phone in his hand, "I don't know if I can take this Bells."

I shook my head, "Don't worry about the cost, it's on one of those family plans and the bill will come to us and we'll take care of the costs. I just want you to take it so you'll always be able to contact me when you like."

He turned it over again and then slipped it into his pocket. I didn't know if he would ever use it but I was happy he had it just in case. I closed the last little distance between Charlie and I and looked into his eyes, "Dad you know I love you. I'm sorry things didn't work out here the way we both had planned, but I am happy and I want you to be happy too."

He nodded but didn't say anything. I held my breath and then wrapped my arms around him to give him one last embrace. As I did so many things happened at once. I heard a ripping sound and Jared had become a wolf. He'd thought I was attacking. Edward dropped my voice and listened to the thoughts around him again.

Sam stepped between Jared and myself. Edward briefly glared at Jacob who was staring at me. Then Edward started to run in Jacob's direction, a feral snarl ripping from his mouth. I dropped away from the hug and tore after Edward, ramming into him to stop his flight. If he attacked the wolves the new treaty would be dead and I knew there wouldn't be a third. Edward snarled at me once before realising who I was and coming to his senses a little. I heard another ripping sound and then Charlie's strangled cry, "No!"

I turned and was frozen momentarily by what I saw.

*****

-EPOV-

Jacob Black was starting to get on my nerves.

He had guessed, and Sam had agreed in his thoughts, that I was a mind-reader. So from the instant he phased back into human form he had bombarded me with images, designed to goad me into an attack. He was unable to attack first because of an order Sam had given as the Alpha. But he seemed to think that if I attacked first, or even attempted to attack, that he would be released from the order. His intentions were clear but he didn't seem to realise the implications of what he was planning. He wanted me dead and he didn't grasp the fact that my death would cause a war.

I watched in his thoughts as he conjured up images of Bella. Picturing her naked. Picturing his tongue rolling around her body. I knew he would find the act repulsive now that she was a 'cold one', but I could also tell that somewhere deep inside of himself he had long ago decided she was his – it was why he hated me so much. It was also why it made it so difficult to watch him imagining all the things he could do to her. I was so busy concentrating on keeping myself rooted to the spot and not attacking him I couldn't focus on Bella's conversation with Charlie. I tried to get Bella's 'voice' but I just couldn't find it with my mind in such disarray. I looked over to Bella, imploring her for assistance. I felt her in front of me almost immediately, drawing my eyes down to hers.

I was able to focus on her and take Jacob's thoughts out of the picture. I felt myself calming almost immediately. I still had the memory of them but I could ignore that – if I tried really hard.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on Bella's 'voice', allowing it to calm me.

Before I'd calmed completely I heard the sound of ripping material and the popping that I'd come to associate with phasing. My thoughts immediately turned to Jacob. Had something happened to allow him to get past Sam's orders? I dropped Bella's voice and opened my eyes.

I soon realised it was Jared who had phased. He thought Bella was attacking Charlie. In his mind he saw her brace herself and then lean in. Stupid mutt – didn't he know the difference between an attack and a hug. Obviously not.

Sam stepped between him and Bella to warn him not to attack. I was immediately glad I'd insisted on Sam being here.

But then Jacob's thoughts started screaming at me. His eyes were focused on Bella's ass and he was imagining taking her from behind – which would have been bad enough. But his thoughts turned to how he would fuck her until he had his fill and then he would phase, ripping her apart by how close he was.

I couldn't help myself. My entire vision was tinged red and the edges seemed blurred. All I could focus on was Jacob. I threw myself at him, snarling at him.

Something or someone collided with me before I was even half-way to Jacob. I fought against them for a second until I cast my eyes around to see who it was. It was Bella. I stopped fighting against her.

Then I heard Jacob decide my attempt at an attack was enough of a reason to call the treaty dead. With Sam in human form he couldn't contradict him so Jacob phased to a wolf and charged towards Bella's back.

Charlie saw the direction of Jacob's attack and screamed out "No!" before launching himself into Jacob's path. Before anyone could do anything to stop it Jacob had barrelled straight into Charlie, knocking him to the ground. A trail of blood ran down Charlie's front.

Bella turned and was frozen – which was probably a blessing, the scent of Charlie's blood would be too much for her to resist.

"Hold your breath, Bella!" I screamed. To my intense relief she did.

Sam phased into wolf form and issued a command for Jacob to stop and fall to the ground. Sam was furious at Jacob. But he hadn't recognised the real danger – Charlie was now bleeding profusely. I ran in the opposite direction to Charlie, and ripped my cell out of my pocket as I went. I dialled Carlisle's number – he was the only one who could help Charlie now.

"Edward, what is it?" He asked as soon as he answered.

"Get over here – now. Charlie's hurt."

"Did Bella..."

"No!" I snapped, "It was one of the wolves. Get over here. Now!"

I hung up the phone, stopped breathing and ran back towards Charlie.

Bella was kneeling by Charlie's side. I could tell by her face she wanted to cry, she wanted to scream and sob and beg him to be okay. But she couldn't. Because to do any of those actions would mean taking a breath and neither of us could risk breathing now.

I rubbed small circles into Bella's back and listened as Sam directed Jared and Paul to take Jacob back to La Push. He instructed them to tell Billy about Charlie's injuries and the cause. That his son had been the one to damage his best friend because of petty vindictiveness.

The only thing that redeemed Jacob marginally in my eyes was that his thoughts were genuinely remorseful. He hadn't attempted to circumvent any of Sam's instructions since realising what he had done. But that wouldn't save Charlie. And that wouldn't stop Bella's heart breaking over Charlie's death. I knew there were options to save him, but I wanted to see if Carlisle would be able to save him the human way first. Because I didn't know if Bella wanted the life for her father.

Sam knelt on the other side of Charlie and minutes later Carlisle arrived, carrying his bag. He gasped when he saw the multiple wounds running down Charlie's front. I tried to pull Bella away from Charlie's side but she threw my arm off. Carlisle took Sam's place instead and quickly assessed the damage.

*****

-JPOV-

I couldn't believe what I had just done.

As I ran towards home, towards La Push I decided I would be the one to tell Billy.

To apologise.

And if Charlie didn't make it.... no I couldn't think that. Charlie was strong. He would get through this. But if he didn't. It would be my fault. And I would be no worse than that bloodsucker.

As soon as I arrived home I phased back to human and found a pair of cut-off shorts to replace the ones I had ripped when I phased so quickly. As I entered the living room Billy was there.

"Jacob? What is it?" Billy could always read my face. He knew immediately something was wrong.

"Charlie," I said flatly.

"Did Bella..."

I shook my head.

"Edward?"

I shook my head again.

"Then what happened?"

I met his eyes, feeling filled to the brim with remorse and hatred for myself, "Me."

*****

-BPOV-

I knelt beside Charlie as Carlisle worked over him. He examined the wounds and thankfully there was no major damage – the wounds were long but not deep. Charlie would need many stitches, but would most likely make it though.

I still hadn't breathed after Edward had screamed at me. Not that he'd needed to. When I froze as I saw Jacob running into Charlie I saw the red spread in a random pattern across his chest and in the same instant tasted the venom spring to my mouth so I stopped breathing.

I needed Charlie to get through this. I knew there were other options to save him if it was too bad. But I didn't want this life for him. I didn't want him to struggle against wanting to kill former friends and family. I wanted him to be there for Renee because I wouldn't be. I needed him to live a long, happy life and then pass into heaven. But not yet. He was still too young for that. So when Carlisle told me the injuries weren't serious I finally allowed Edward to pull me away from Charlie's side to let Carlisle work.

Edward pulled me around to the front of the house and into his arms. Now that I was away from Charlie's blood I was able to breathe. And after I drew my first breath the sobs that I had been unable to release before came freely. Edward pulled out his phone and called for an ambulance. By the time they got here Carlisle would be finished, but at least Charlie would be able to stay at the hospital for the night and someone would be able to watch out for him.

Then Edward wrapped his arms around me and gently rubbed my back. As much as I hated to leave my father when he was in this state I knew, now more than ever, that he wasn't safe around me. I needed to leave tonight. I pulled out of Edward's arms, ran back around the house to Charlie's side and pulled the cell out of his pocket. I left Charlie in Carlisle's capable hands. I couldn't be seen here so Edward and I needed to leave as soon as possible.

I went into the house put the cell on the table, found a piece of paper and wrote out a short note for Charlie to find on his arrival.

_Dad, _

_I'm sorry I had to leave this way. Please call me as soon as you are home, I need to know you're alright. _

_I love you. Good-bye._

_Always your daughter,_

_Isabella_

I left the note underneath the cell and then took a minute to take one last look around the house, including going into my old room and grabbing a few items I couldn't bear to part with now that I was so close. I was glad Edward hadn't come in – I think he recognised that I needed to do this on my own. Finally I locked up the house, placing the key in its usual spot and turned, leaving my old life behind forever.

Edward was waiting for me – hand extended to take me into the new. I kissed his cheek and gave him a weak smile before grabbing his hand and running alongside him towards the house we would leave for good in a few short hours.

I didn't know where we would end up. I didn't know if we would stay in Denali or move on to the new town with his family. But in that moment I knew it didn't matter where I lived. So long as Edward was beside me – I was home.

**A/N:- Okay so this is pretty much done now – I have an epilogue to write & that's it. The story of Bella & Edward's time in Forks has come to an end :) **


	25. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_A/N: I own nothing. Characters are all Stephenie Meyers' creations. This is unbeta'd so apologies for any & all mistakes. Please take the time to leave some words if you really loved it or really hated it! _

*****

-BPOV-

I was in hunting mode. I allowed the scent of my prey to fill my mind, following the delicious scent. Nothing in the world came close to this scent. I took my time. I knew my prey wouldn't outrun me, wouldn't escape me, not when I was so close. I stalked as silently as I was able, so my footsteps are imperceptible. But I knew he could hear them. I heard his steps as he rounded the trees to avoid me. I felt Edward latch onto my 'voice'.

"Cheater!" I laughed.

Then I became the hunted. His steps came faster and faster towards me until I was swept up into his arms and his mouth was on mine.

"Gotcha!" He said as he pulled away.

"Wasn't I supposed to be getting you though?" I laughed.

He shrugged, "You were taking too long."

I went to take a swipe at him and he ran so I gave chase. I knew he would be faster than me soon, my newborn energy was slowly fading – so I took advantage while I could. I caught him and tackled him to the ground. We rolled and I ended up on top of him. He swung me around so I was under him. We played that game a few more times until our playfulness ebbed and passion kicked in. My lips found his and my hands started to pull at his shirt. We had maybe an hour to spend out here before we needed to go back to the house.

His family were moving on today and we needed to say good-bye - at least for now. We would see them again in a few months when we moved in with them. That was the solution we had reached, six months with my family, six months with his.

His hands had just found their way to my bra when his phone rang.

"Ignore it," I said as he reached for it.

"It could be Charlie..." He teased.

I was tempted to tell him to ignore it again but I couldn't. I could never pass up an opportunity to talk to Charlie.

"Fine," I muttered.

He laughed and pulled out the phone. He looked at the display and handed it to me.

"Dad!" I practically cheered down the phone.

"Bells, you act as if you haven't spoken to me in weeks, not days."

"I know, I just..."

"I know, Bells. Me too."

I liked that Charlie and I had fallen into our old pattern of not voicing our real feelings, yet knowing exactly what the other meant within our awkward pauses.

"How are things, Dad?"

"Getting there. The stitches come out tomorrow, but I'm still not allowed back to work."

I could hear the grumble in his voice and it made me chuckle.

"Jacob bought Billy down this morning."

I clamped my jaw to stop myself abusing Jacob. I don't think I would ever forgive him for the danger he put Charlie in – all for his own selfish desire for revenge. "Mmmm." I squeezed out.

"Bella, he's been down and apologised a hundred times, he helped me out while I was too sore to move. He's washed my cruiser every day. He keeps trying to make it up to me. And I've forgiven him. I think you should too." It had taken a while for me to convince Charlie to trust the wolves the first time he had called, but now it seemed that trust extended to eternal forgiveness.

"Dad, he wanted to kill Edward. He _tried_ to kill Edward. Multiple times. He hurt you. And I think he would have hurt me if he was given the chance. I'm sorry if I'm just not that forgiving."

"You forgave Edward."

I rolled my eyes. I'd had this argument with Charlie almost every time he called, which was daily, but he couldn't see the difference in the situations. We'd been in Denali for two weeks now, waiting on the new documents for Edward's family. My family. It was just a shame that having thirteen of us in the one place was too noticeable because ideally I would have loved if Tanya and her family could join the Cullen's permanently but the solution Edward and I had agreed to was the best solution all around.

I spoke to Charlie for another ten minutes, he tried to convince me to at least call Jacob and gave me the phone number again. I tried to tell him he needn't have bothered telling it to me again each time because I had a photographic memory and could recall the number perfectly if I wanted to. But I didn't want to. I had nothing to say to Jacob Black, at least not according to the old saying 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'.

Finally I hung up from Charlie and my amorous mood from before was gone. So was Edward's. I handed him his phone back.

"Raincheck?" I asked.

He nodded, "Let's head back."

We were intercepted right before the house by a pouting Alice.

"Bel-la," she whined. I knew what she was going to say – she'd been saying the same thing for the last two weeks, as soon as Edward and I reached our decision. "Are you sure you and Edward won't come with us? We're going to miss you."

"Alice, our decision is final – a few months are all you'll have to wait," Edward spoke before I could. He was still listening to my 'voice', as was his habit these days. His family were slowly getting used to talking to him normally.

"Fine," Alice said as she spun on her heels and ran back to the house. She obviously saw that further discussion would not change our mind.

"Thank-you again for supporting this," I said to him earnestly.

"How could I not? You suggested a fair compromise to the situation. And to be honest I love it here. I love the permanence of it." Then he laughed loudly, "And the fact that I don't have to repeat high school constantly."

"I still want to go to college one day, when I'm a bit more controlled."

"And we will love, together. We can go anywhere we want."

"And we'll always have two families who welcome us back when we're done exploring."

We arrived at the house and he handed me the clothes that had been laid out for me and grabbed his own. Then he smiled and asked, "Are you ready for this?"

I nodded. "You?"

"Absolutely. I've never wanted anything more."

I kissed his lips and then pulled off the dirt-stained sun-dress I had on. I pulled the fresh dress over my head watching Edward's eyes light up when he saw it on. He helped pull the zipper up and then I help him out of his shirt and into his clothes. He shrugged the jacket on with practised ease and I helped him do up his bow tie. Then I smoothed out the white satin of my dress and we linked arms. There was nothing traditional about what was about to happen. But there was nothing traditional about Edward and I either.

The TV was going in the background when Edward and I entered the house to a round of cheers and applause. Carlisle was dressed in a tuxedo as well, ready to perform our wedding ceremony.

Maybe if we hadn't been so caught up in the bliss that was occurring we would have heard the newscaster talking about a prominent businessman who had been missing for months. The police were still looking for answers in regards to his disappearance. Apparently the only lead they had was CCTV footage of him leaving the bar with a friend, who had also disappeared, and following a young woman. If we hadn't been so focused on each other and our family, we just might have seen my face on TV.

**A/N – Sorry. I know that leaves it wide open for a sequel. I am definitely not planning one **_**right now**_**, but you never know what might happen in the future ;) But for now we'll just leave Edward & Bella to their wedding & happily ever after. **

**There are a few good fics that I've read lately – all are posted under my fav's. I recommend you check them out. And remember – never be afraid to push the green review button, whether it is for me or for another fanfic all I can tell you is how much the authors appreciate it. I don't know a single one who doesn't squee when they get reviews :)**

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